Welcome to the Mata-chatroom
by Mazula
Summary: What's this? Matau has gotten everyone Mata-chatroom accounts! What sort of internet chaos will ensure? Humanized!Bionicle, AU.
1. Introduction say what?

**Welcome to the Mata-chatroom.**

Ch. 1

Introduction say what?

_A/N~ Well, as some of you may have noticed, some of my fics are missing from my archives. Well rest assured, I did not take them down myself. It seems the Critics United trolls had reported SIX of my fics and had them blown off my archives. Drastic much? Maybe. But I only have one thing to say for any and all trolls who have vendettas against people just having fun in writing and entertaining people,_

_**SUCK MY LADY-DICK. **_

_That is all. And now note, I have quotation marks from beginning to end of this fic, so your format rule is overruled. Bad loophole? Perhaps. Will it work? Maybe, maybe not. Bunch of eye-sores is what they are. If it does work, great. If it doesn't, well it just proves how hypocritical and stupid the staff of this site are and just how pear-shaped the whole writing world has become. _

_And __**NOTICE!**__ Please see my profile for more information on this matter, to sign a petition to get CU off of , and to see my plans for if my fics are taken down again. Thank you to all those who supported and stuck with me. You have all been fantastic and nothing but awesome and understanding people. Kudos to you, and expect a new chapter to be up within the month. _

I do not own any of the mentioned charas. LEGO does.

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**Who's who-**

BigBird24 - Nuju

FireSpitter23 - Vakama

AirMonkey22 - Matau

AquaGal22 - Nokama

GroundPounder25 - Whenua

RockSmasher23 - Onewa

LittleBird16 - Matoro

RainDrop15 - Hali

DirtDigger16 - Nuparu

FireCracker16 - Jaller

RockyKick16 - Hewkii

MiniTwister15 - Kongu

Sk8erGurl16 - Macku

SilentNight16 - kopeke

AwesomeFrost16 - Ehrye.

LightGuy15 - Takua

HafuTheGreat#1 - Hafu

FrostyBite18 - Kopaka.

BurntToast19 - Tahu

AcroJester17 - Lewa

SurferGurl17 - Gali

CaveCrawler19 - Onua

DessertRunner18 - Pohatu

WhiteRage18 - Kurahk

CrimsonFear19 - Turahk

GreenVenom18 - Lerahk

BlueDestruction17 - Guurahk

BlackLeech19 - Vorahk

BronzeDust18 - Panrahk.

RedBully19 - Hakann

BlueBeast18 - Vezok

EmeraldSnake20 - Zaktan

BronzeTrigger17 - Avak

BlackTracer19 - Reidak

WhiteDrifter17 - Thok

Doppelganger18 - Vezon

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**LittleBird16 has logged on.**

**FrostyBite18 has logged on.**

**AirMonkey22 has logged on.**

LittleBird16: Ok…again, can I ask just why?

AirMoneky22: ask what? 8D

FrostyBite18: You know EXACTLY what!

AirMonkey22: You mean about me giving you and everyone else all Mata-chatroom accounts so I can talk to you all? 8DD

LittleBird16: Well…yes…so why?

FrostyBite18: Because he's an ass and has no life outside the internet.

AirMonkey22: I do SO have a life!

FrostyBite18: Then WHY drag us onto this lame-ass site!?

Airmonkey22:…I get lonely.

FrostyBite18: -_- I'm no impressed.

AirMoneky22: you never are! You should be thanking me! D8

**BigBird24 has logged on.**

**FireSpitter23 has logged on.**

BigBird24: Matau you are an idiot. Do you have ANY idea how much spam this place gets!? I don't have time to delete random brochures and liposuction adds! And WTF is this 'BigBird' business? Do I look like a Sesame Street character to you?

FireSpitter23: And uh…why am I 'firespitter23'?

AirMonkey22: Because your names fit! And you know you want that Botox Nuju. X3

LittleBird16: I can see why you got Nuju and everyone else in your classes, but why me and my other friends?

BigBird24: Matoro!? He did this to you too!?

LittleBird16: Apparently…

FireSpitter23: How did you even get our information to even MAKE these accounts?

AirMonkey22:….I know people?

FrostyBite18: Your question mark is suspicious…

**AquaGal22 has logged on.**

**GroundPounder25 has logged on.**

**RockSmasher23 has logged on.**

**RainDrop15 has logged on.**

**DirtDigger16 has logged on.**

**FireCracker16 has logged on.**

AquaGal22: Guys? Is that you?

RockSmasher23: you mean is this the stupid stunt Matau pulled on us via the power of the internet like the moron he is? Yes, yes it is.

GroundPounder25: You're surprised?

AquaGal22: not really, but still…

RainDrop15: so…why include us?

FireCracker16: Srsly! I already have, like, three email accounts, I don't need to remember a password or name for another.

DirtDigger16: I am so NOT a dirt digger! DX

**BurntToast19 has logged on.**

**AcroJester17 has logged on.**

BurntToast19: WHY THE HELL DID YOU GIVE ME THE NAME 'BurntToast'!?

FostyBite18: TURN YOUR DAMN CAPSLOCK OFF!

BurntToast19: NEVER! DXX

AirMonkey22: cause 'BurntToastWithJam' was taken! XDD

BurntToast19:…Lewa, your brother's just as big a baka as you are.

AcroJester17: HEY! I'm not a baka!...what's a baka?

BigBird24: *facepalm*

LittleBird16: Erm, it's Japanese for idiot…

AcroJester17: Oh…HEY! That's mean Tahu! T-T

BurntToast19: your emoticon tears have no effect on me.

FireSpitter23: Alright enough! As far as I can tell, these accounts can't be deleted until the first 30 days pass. So…we're gonna have to just deal with it…

FireCracker16: Great…

BigBird24: ugh…

AirMonkey22: YAY! NOW WE CAN CHATZ! 8DD

LittleBird16: So…now what?

BigBird24:….

BurntToast19: Uh….

GroundPounder25:…..

AquaGal22: *shifty eyes*

FireSpitter23:…

RaindDrop15: Umm…I have homework to do, sooo…

FrostyBite18: I'm leaving.

DirtDigger16: mom's calling.

FireCracker16: chores.

**RainDrop15 has logged off.**

**FrostyBite18 has logged off.**

**DirtDigger16 has logged off.**

**FireCracker19 has logged off.**

AirMonkey22: Uh…guys?

FireSpitter23: Erm, dog needs to be walked.

AquaGal22: I have swimming today.

GroundPounder25: I'm hungry.

RockSmasher23: Whenua's buying. XD

BurntToast19: stoves on fire.

BigBird24: house is underwater.

**FireSpitter23 has logged off.**

**AquaGal22 has logged off.**

**GroundPounder25 has logged off.**

**RockSmasher23 has logged off.**

**BurntToast19 has logged off.**

**BigBird24 has logged off.**

AirMonkey22: Guys!? Lewa!?

AcroJester17: Hey I'm here for you bro- OMG LOOK! SQUIRREL!

**AcroJester17 has logged off.**

AirMoneky22:…Matoro?

LittleBird16:…..

AirMonkey22: *puppy eyes*

LittleBird16:…*jumps out window*

**LittleBird16 has jumped out his window-I mean, logged off.**

AirMonkey22:….NOES! I'm all alone! TT-TT …wait a minute! Vakama, you don't own a dog! You told me you're allergic! And we live in a dorm together! WTF!?

**AirMonkey22 is insulted and has logged off."**

To be continued…

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

_A/N~ And so begins the war between bad comedy chat-room themes, and the Trolls United. Whose side will you chose? *dramatic music* _


	2. Dessert and Desert

**Welcome to the Mata-chatroom.**

Ch. 2

Dessert and desert.

_A/N~ I'm hoping some of this seems a bit better, as I went back to edit everything before reposting. But, as the past has shown, I often miss errors and flukes. So if I missed anything, I apologize, but I'm doing the best I can. And those who have a bone to pick with me about grammar or whatever, and don't even have the balls to sign in and tell me, lay off. No one is perfect, and it's a CHATROOM theme. NO ONE uses perfect grammar in chatrooms. But if you dom there is something wrong with you. 8P _

Humanized!Bionicle peeps!

I don't own anyone but their humanized-ness in this version of…oh just read it.

**X~X~X~X~X**

"**FrostyBite18 has logged on.**

**BurntToast19 has logged on.**

**AcroJester17 has logged on.**

**DessertRunner18 has logged on.**

DessertRunner18: Hey guys! I gotz an account too! 8DD

BurntToast19: Fan-fricken-tastic…

AcrotJester17: Aw, is Tahu all huffy-mad my big bro was kind-generous enough to give you a Mata-chat account?

FrostyBite18: AND gave you a rather fitting penname? Lol

BurntToast19: STFU!

DessertRunner18: ROFL you guys are just as funny here as in RL! XDD

FrostyBite18:…Pohatu?

DessertRunner18: Ya?

FrostyBite18: Your screenname…

DessertRunner18: Eh? Wut about it?

BurntToast19: Oh…damn, I see it too…

AcroJester17: Eh?

FrostyBite18: Have you two no sense of the English language?

BurntToast19: you're one to talk, Frenchy.

FrostyBite18: I'm French-Canadian you dumbass.

AcroJester17: English is for losers! I speak awesome-nese! 8DD

BurntToast19: -_-'

DessertRunner18: Er, ok, so wut's wrong with mah penname?

FrostyBite18: ugh. It should be 'desert' not 'dessert'.

DessertRunner18:…why?

BurntToast19: LOL clueless!

AcroJester17: I dun get it! D8

FrostyBite18: oh for the love of-! 'Desert' means the actual sandy desert, you know, with heat, cactus, sand, dirt, stuff like that?

DessesrtRunner18: yeah…?

FrostyBite18: Your penname, 'dessert', means 'dessert'. Like cakes, ice cream, chocolate, sweets and junk like that. Get it?

AcroJester17: Oooooooohhhhhh! I get it! 8D

DessertRunner18:….no way!

BurntToast19: Dude, I just looked it up in the dictionary! It's true! You totally PHAIL'd on your penname! LOL

DessertRunner18: I DIDN'T EVEN CHOOSE IT! LEWA! Your brother screwed up my penname! DX

AcroJester17: oops. XDD

BurntToast19: XD phail.

FrostyBite18: Sucks to be you.

DessertRunner18: Can't I just change it!?

FrostyBite18: pft, this isn't FB. You're stuck with your lame name.

AcroJester17: Cake-runner! Lol

DessertRunner18: Oh screw you guys!

**DessertRunner18 has logged off in a huff.**

FrostyBite18:…so…what now? That was pretty much our five minutes worth of entertainment for the afternoon.

BurntToast19: Damn…

AcroJester17: Oh oh oh! Pick me! Pick me! 8DD

FrostyBite18: I know I'm going to regret this, but, fine. What Lewa?

AcroJester17: ok, ok, I have a brilliant-genius idea!

BurntToast19: Well, out with it!

AcroJester17: Alright, now, how about, we play…charades! 8D

FrostyBite18:….Lewa.

AcroJester17: Ya?

FrostyBite18: You need help.

BurntToast19: BADLY.

AcroJester17: Eh? No charades? Ok! How about…Ispy! 8DDD

**FrostyBite18 has logged off.**

**BurntToast19 has logged off.**

AcroJester17:…IIIIIII spyyyyyyyy with my lil eyes…something beginning with 'C'…"

**X~X~X~X~X-**

"**LittleBird16 has logged on.**

**DirtDigger16 has logged on.**

**RainDrop15 has logged on.**

DirtDigger16: Gah, anyone know anything on psychology? Our psych class is doing this impossible study on mental diseases! And I'm clueless! D8

RainDrop15: You too? Ugh, I'm clueless too…

LittleBird16: Srsly? The class is so easy!

DirtDigger16: Ya right- wait, you know stuff?

LittleBird16: Well yeah, like I said, easy to me. Took it full course last year.

RainDrop15: Well not all of us are in the over-achievement loop here Matoro…

LittleBird16: XP

DirtDigger16: So what you're saying is…you're rly smart?

LittleBird16: -_-' well I'm certainly not STUPID if that's what you're asking me.

DirtDigger16: Well then help! I'm stuck on this one thing!

LittleBird16: Ok, which one?

DirtDigger16: Something on 'depression'. I mean…I've never really been…well, depressed, so…I need to give a description and…oh just help me! D8

RainDrop15: Me too. I know a bit of it vaguely, but haven't really…well, felt it.

LittleBird16: And you assume I know how it feels because…?

DirtDigger16:…..cause _Why you have to go and make things so complicated? I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated~! Life's like this you~! And you fall, and you crawl, and you break, and you take, what you get~!_ XDD

RaindDrop15: ROFL

LittleBird16: *PHAIL-faint* dude…who are you?

DirtDigger16: LOL whut? It's true!

**FireCracker16 has logged on.**

FireCracker16: Sup guys?

LittleBird16: Nuparu's mocking me with Avril Lavinge.

FireCracker16: Uh…

RainDrop15: Look above! XD

FireCracker16:….oh….dude…NOT cool.

DirtDigger16: Hey! It fits!

LittleBird16: Do you even LISTEN to Avril Lavinge?

RainDrop15: Well what's WRONG with Avril lavinge?

LittleBird16:…I'm gonna take a note from Kopaka and choose not to answer that question. 8P

RainDrop15: Don't stick your emoti-tongue at me! DX

DirtDigger16: XDD

FireCracker16: So…WHY did you start lame showtunes? Music class going down or something? Lol

RainDrop15: No! We were…..uh…what WERE we talking about?

LittleBird16: Dunno. And I'm feeling too lazy to scroll up or check the archive.

DirtDigger16: Me too.

FireCracker16: Geez you guys…

LittleBird16:….

DirtDigger16:….

RainDrop15:….

FireCracker16:….

LittleBird16:…so…good luck on those tests you two. ^^

**LittleBird16 has logged off.**

DirtDigger16: God damn it! That's what we were talking about! DX

**DirtDigger16 has logged off to find a psych book.**

FireCracker16:…tests?

RainDrop15: Psych class. It makes me sad. T-T

FireCracker16: Oh. Maybe I can help?

RainDrop15: Oh? You know anything on depression or bipolar disorder? I'm stumped.

FireCracker16:…..uuhh….isn't that what the internet is for?

RainDrop15: you know how the teacher is. No internet research. Just books. Which sucks.

FireCracker16:….yeah…

RainDrop15: you have no idea what I'm talking about do you?

FireCracker16: not a clue.

RainDrop15:…I'll give you points for honesty. Oh well.

FireCracker16: Sorry.

RainDrop15: it's fine. Meh, now I'm hungry lol

FireCracker16: XD me too. Wanna get a pizza?

RainDrop15: you're buying! Lol

FireCracker16: Fine fine. See ya!

RainDrop15: Bye!

**RainDrop15 has logged off.**

**FireCracker16 has logged off.**

**MiniTwister15 has logged on.**

MiniTwister15: Hey guys! Guess what I-…guys…?...NO! I'm all alone! Come back! D8"

To be continued…

**X~X~X~X~X**

_A/N~ There's a moral or two to this story. This being…Ispy + chatroom = PHAIL._

_There. That's all I got for ya. 8D_


	3. Bunny suits and Kurbie Vs Furbie

**Welcome to the Mata-chatroom.**

Ch. 3

Bunny suits and Kurbie vs. furbie.

_A/N~ Haters gonna be hatin'~ Trolls are gonna be trollin'~ They be be hatin', they be trollin', they be rollin', they all gonna be a-bowlin'~…yeah, I dunno. _

**X~X~X~X~X**

"**LittleBird16 has logged on.**

**RainDrop15 has logged on.**

**MiniTwister15 has logged on.**

LittleBird16: ok, pop quiz time.

MiniTwister15: HOMG! I didn't study! DDD8

RainDrop15: lol wuts up Matoro?

LittleBird16: ok, what do you do when your big bro is trying to get you into a bunny suit and take a pic of you holding a giant colored egg so he can make this Easter 'memorable'?

RanDrop15:…what?

MiniTwister15: OH! Oh! I know this one! I know this one! Pick me!

LittleBird16: Kongu.

MiniTwister15: Ok…first, we're gonna need some glue, duct tape, a welcome rug, and a small poodle.

LittleBird16:…Hahli. Any ideas?

RainDrop15: lol well…is this like a real life question?

LittleBird16:….maybe.

MiniTwister15: OMG lol

RainDrop15: rofl!

LittleBird16: it's NOT funny! DX

**FrostyBite18 has logged on.**

FrostyBite18: Matoro? Where you at? I gotta make sure this fits you!

LittleBird16: Like HELL you do! I'm NOT putting that thing on!

RainDrop15: omg Kopaka?

MiniTwister15: for cereal?

FrostyBite18: As much as I love my lil brother, Nuju's paying me to do this for him. XD

LittleBird16: WHY!?

FrostyBite18: You borrowed five bucks from him and he's calling you out on a favor.

LittleBird16: Yeah, I borrow five measly dollars from him for a fricken coffee, TWO MONTHS AGO, and he calls me out on a favor NOW and like THIS!?

FrostyBite18: Hey, college does sh** to you bro. Now where are you?

LittleBird16: Oh like I'm actually telling you!

**BigBird24 has logged on.**

BigBird24: you're in the attic aren't you?

LittleBird16:…..

FrostyBite18: well, can't say I'm shocked. Don't move.

**FrostyBite18 has logged off.**

LittleBird16: FFFFFFFFFFF-

BigBird24: Don't swear Matoro, you're better than that.

MiniTwister15: Ya it's unbecoming of a bunny! XDD

LittleBird16: STFU! Oh gawd…damnit he's coming! SOMEONE CALL SOCIAL SERVICES! MY FAMILY IS ABUSING ME!

**LittleBird16 has been caught.**

LittleBird16: BCDBXK hjk ghkxhghx U7 63TGBh kjgb vkjsdkPZ9 9WRH COYvhodr-

**LittleBird16's connection has been lost.**

MiniTwister15:….Matoro?

RainDrop15: OxO' Nuju?

BigBird24: Hm?

RainDrop15: I think your brother just killed Matoro.

BigBird24: Nah, I told Kopaka to use the rope. He's fine.

RainDrop15:….

MiniTwister15: Uuh….o-k then…

_**You got mail~!**_

RainDrop15: from Kopaka?

MiniTwister15: I got one too.

BigBird24: X3

**LittleBird16 has escaped.**

LittleBird16: DON'T LOOK AT IT!

RainDrop15: Oh. My. GAWD! Matoro you're ADORABLE!

MiniTwister15: Holy CRAP! You're so cute! XD

LittleBird16: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

BigBird24: AWW~ Matoro you're so cute! Better than last year's xmas pic!

MiniTwister15: you have an xmas pic of him?

BigBird24: yep! Know what he was?

LittleBird16: don't TELL them!

**FrostyBite18 has logged back on.**

FrostyBite18: an elf.

LittleBird16: Murder. I will MURDER you ALL.

RainDrop15: omg you gotta send me that!

BigBird24: already did! XDD

_**You got embarrassing holiday mail~!**_

MiniTwister15: HOLY ELFEN-HEIGHMER!

LittleBird16: SHUT UP!

RainDrop15: SQUEE~! Matoro how could you keep these from us? You're so cute!

LittleBird16: I am NEVER borrowing money from you ever again!

**LittleBird16 has logged off to kill/maim his brothers.**

MiniTwister15: Dude! This is SO going on my web-wall!

**LittleBird16 has logged on.**

LittleBird16: DO IT AND I WILL MURDER YOU WITH A SPORK.

**LittleBird16 has logged off.**

MiniTwister15:…that was actually a pretty scary thought. O.o'

**AcroJester17 has logged on.**

AcroJester17: OMG Kongu! I just found that pic of you dressed up as a pumpkin from last year's Halloween!

MiniTwister15: WHAT!? I thought I burned that!

**LittleBird16 has logged on.**

LittleBird16: HURTS DOESN'T IT?

**LittleBird16 has logged off to bury the bodies."**

**X~X~X~X~X**

"**BigBird24 has logged on.**

**GroundPounder25 has logged on.**

BigBird24: I can't believe we got paired up for this…

GroundPounder25: oh get over it! Let's just get this project over with and we can get out of each other's lives.

BigBird24: fine.

GroundPounder25: Ok, we gotta choose a subject on any kind of a popular product used at least ten years back. Has to be very rare or nonexistent in this current time.

BigBird24:…are they serious?

GroundPounder25: yeah…that's what I asked.

BigBird24: ugh…

GroundPounder25: just choose something!

BigBird24: you're the history nut, you choose something.

GroundPounder25: Yeah, HISTORY. I like history. Not what was used back whenever in place of the iPod or what toy was more popular than furbie!

BigBird24:…those things creeped me out.

GroundPounder25: They reminded me of that Gremlins movie…

BigBird24: you should have seen Kopaka's face when Matoro brought one home when he was little lol

GroundPounder25: omg wish I coulda seen that XD

BigBird24: wait…weren't they called 'Kurbies'?

GroundPounder25:…huh, actually…weird, I'm not sure. O.o'

BigBird24: damnit, that's going to bug me for DAYS.

GroundPounder25: wait wait! Weren't the Kurbies the original ones, and the Furbies the ones you got in the kids meals at McDonalds?

BigBird24: No no, I think it was the other way around….I think?

GroundPounder25: damnit, I gotta look that up!

BigBird24: ugh, tell me what you find! I'm never gonna sleep at night if I don't find out! DX

GroundPounder25: ya, one sec.

BigBird24: kay.

**GroundPounder25 is temporarily offline.**

**GroundPounder25 has logged back on.**

GroundPounder25: Hah! They're called 'Furbies' and Kurbie is actually 'Kirby', that pink video game dude!

BigBird24: srsly? Damn. Weird.

GroundPounder25: ikr? XD

BigBird24: well, that solves that.

GroundPounder25: one of life's great mysteries. Lol

**RockSmasher23 has logged on.**

RockSmasher23: you two do know that this is the first CIVIL conversation you two have had the whole time you've known each other, and it's about Furbies? LOL

BigBird24:…

GroundPounder25:…

BigBird24:…Oh my _gawd_…! *PHAIL*

GroundPounder25: *is in the shame corner* T~T

RockSmasher23: rofl you guys are so messed up! XDD

BigBird24:…..so, I kick his ass, you do the report?

GroundPounder25: sure.

BigBird24: cool.

GroundPounder25: bye.

BigBird24: bye.

**GroundPounder25 has logged off.**

**BigBird24 has logged off.**

RockSmasher23:….you were kidding right Nuju…? Nuju…? OxO"

**X~X~X~X~X**

"**AcroJester17 has logged on.**

AcroJester17: Ok! Mom is letting me dye and style my hair! Need suggestions, GO!

BurntToast19: Neon green with yellow spikes.

FrostyBite18: Neon green with yellow spikes.

SurferGurl17: Neon green with yellow spikes.

CaveCrawler19: neon green with yellow spikes.

DessertRunner18: neon green with yellow spikes!

AcroJester17:….NEAT! 8DD"

**X~X~X~X~X**

"**AirMonkey22 has logged onto the mobile chat.**

AirMonkey22: dude, Vak, I need you to grab my homework! I left it in our room and the prof. is getting hissy! D8

FireSpitter23: ugh, srsly Matau? Again?

AirMonkey22: PLZ Vakama! I swear this is the last time! Please! T~T

FireSpitter23: ugh, fine. Where is it?

AirMonkey22: it was on my jacket on my bed.

FireSpitter23: you put your jacket away I think. Maybe it's in your closet.

AirMonkey22: DON'T F***ING GO IN MY CLOSET!

FireSpitter23: OxO'…why not!?

AirMonkey22:…because….

FireSpitter23: Because…?

AirMonkey22: Just BECAUSE!

FireSpitter23: well then I can't get your damn homework!

AirMonkey22: why would I want my homework? I didn't even DO it last night!

FireSpitter23: Then why did you-!? You just-! Why did you ask me to get it!?

AirMonkey22:…because…

FireSpitter23: -_-' …you're bored to tears right now aren't you?

AirMonkey22: Tutoring is so LONELY! T~T"

To be continued…

**X~X~X~X~X**

_A/N~ It's true. Tutoring is so LONELY! TwT_

_And this was a real event! I actually couldn't figure out whether they were called 'Kurbies' or 'Furbies' for the longest time before I got off my lazy bum and looked it up. Lol_


	4. Redbull, it gives you RABIES

**Welcome to the Mata-chatroom.**

Ch. 4

Redbull, it gives you RABIES!

**X~X~X~X~X**

"**FrostyBite18 has logged on.**

**AcroJester17 has logged on.**

**SurferGurl17 has logged on.**

FrostyBite18: Ok, somebody PLEASE tell me it's healthy for a 16 year old boy to be drinking twice his weight in energy/caffeinated drinks on a daily basis, I'm starting to srsly worry here!

SurferGurl17: What?

AcroJester17: Oh! Oh! I know this one! I know this one! The answer is-

FrostyBite18: I'm not hearing another pudding joke Lewa! Now cut it out! DX

AcroJester17: Wah… TwT

SurferGurl17: lol mind explaining Kopaka?

FrostyBite18: it was awful Gali. I needed some extra hangers for my clothes and went to check Matoro's closet to see if he had any. Instead of seeing the inside of a closet, I get an avalanche of empty bottles/cans of energy and caffeinated drinks!

AcroJester17: srsly?

FrostyBite18: it was terrible! I was buried under nothing but redbull and other crappy drinks for ten minutes!

SurferGurl17: omg was it that bad?

FrostyBite18: Let's look at the findings. So far, I've counted over twenty empty redbull cans, ten Monster cans, at least four of every kind of soda known to man (and some gorilla) as well as some Japanese soda, eight empty coffee cups, six five-hour energy bottles, three empty pints of Mountain Dew, two empty coke bottles-

AcroJester17: And a partridge in a pear tree? 8DD

FrostyBite18:…yeah, sure, why not? So I ask you, is this healthy? Even for a teenager? A teenager I might add that probably isn't even over 92 pounds (God he needs to put on some weight before child services get involved…) yet still manages to take in all this liquid and NOT have some kind of kidney failure!?

Surfergurl17: Oh…wow. O.o' I'm honestly not sure how to respond to all that. How is he still alive?

FrostyBite18: Hell should I know. All I know is that Nuju is going to MURDER me if he finds out Matoro's been HOARDING caffeinated drinks!

AcroJester17: ROFL no kidding! I still remember that time Matoro had his first caffeine-rush three years ago! XDD

FrostyBite18: never…again…

SurferGurl17: OMG didn't your brother call an exorcist for that?

FrostyBite18: Yes. And I thought it was a good idea, the kid was practically doing jumping-jacks on the ceiling for crying out loud! We thought he was possessed!

AcroJester17: I just thought it was funneh XDD

FrostyBite18: No one cares what you think Lewa.

**LittleBird16 has logged onto mobile chat.**

LittleBird16: Kopaka! What the heck are you doing snooping in my room!?

FrostyBite18: Me!? What are YOU doing hoarding all this…this…crap!? Do you have any idea how pissed Nuju will get at me if he finds out I'm letting you slip caffeine-crack behind my back?

AcroJester17: Hehehe, that rhymed!

FrostyBte18: shut up! Well?

LittleBird16: Oh for god's sake, I go to work not even ten minutes ago, and you're snooping through my closet and now interrogating me?

FrostyBite18: Matoro, I mean it!

LittleBird16: I'm not HOARDING!

FrostyBite18: then WHY is there so much crap in your closet!? They got this great invention called the recycle bin, you really should try it.

LittleBird16: My trashcan wasn't big enough, and honestly, if I used the bin, you would have seen it all, then we'd be having this exact conversation now. Which I am not enjoying.

SurferGurl17: Matoro, a lot of those drinks are really bad for you. If you drink all of those in one sitting, you could get very sick.

FrostyBite18: Yeah, it's called diabetes, high blood pressure, weight gain, oh and my fav, DEATH.

LittleBird16: OMG you both sound like Nuju! I'm NOT gonna die! And you should be SLIGHTLY happy about that first to last one, you and pretty much EVERYONE are always telling me to quote, 'put some f***ing meat on you before a breeze blows you into the sun'. And besides, would you rather have me as I am now, or me going through caffeine withdrawal? Now answer that honestly after looking back on what happened last year.

FrostyBite18:…

SureferGurl17: *shudders*…..

AcroJester17: *shivering in corner* meep…

LittleBird16: That's what I thought. XD

**BigBird24 has logged on.**

BigBird24: Kopaka A. Shiver! What is this I'm hearing about Matoro hoarding drinks!?

FrostyBite18: Aw sh**…it wasn't my fault! Yell at Matoro! I don't even know HOW he got the stuff into the house!

LittleBird16: Oh please, I do all the shopping AND financial balances in this house, how do you THINK?

BigBird24: you've been using our money!?

LittleBird16: What? No! Not like that anyways, I have a job you know.

AcroJester17: this is getting gewd. XD

BigBird24: -SHUT UP-!

FrostyBite18: -SHUT UP-!

LittleBird16: Ugh…

BigBird24: I never should have left you at home with Kopaka for college. Never should have done it when the guy can't even boil water without setting it on fire!

FrostyBite18: HEY! That was ONCE! I spilled oil into the water and I was 15!

SureferGurl17: You set water on fire? O.o'

LittleBird16: It was actually pretty funny at the time. lol

BigBird24: Enough! Matoro, clear out your closet, and no more caffeine for AT LEAST two weeks!

LittleBird16: WHAT!? Are you nuts!?

BigBird24: if knowing you and Kopaka hasn't already stolen my sanity, then yes, I'm nuts. And Kopaka! You're doing the shopping now! The next time I come over this weekend, I'm gutting that house of anything you missed!

FrostyBite18: ugh, fine! Whatever…

LittleBird16: Nuju, if I go through with this, all hell WILL break loose.

BigBird24: is that a threat young man?

LittleBird16: No, it's actually fact. Remember last year?

BigBird24:…..never. Again. Am I leaving you alone with a painball gun and roller skates. NEVER.

FrostyBite18: And if anything like last year happens, by the time you come over this weekend, I'll be a corpse and/or smudge on the wall! Matoro goes all Jekyll and Hyde on us when he's in withdrawal.

LittleBird16: I am NOT that bad! DX

SurferGurl17: you kinda are…

LittleBird16: Urgh…

BigBird24: ugh, whatever, just…don't drown yourself in the stuff! Only three drinks a day, and that's IT! I don't need my baby brother foaming at the mouth like he has rabies due to withdrawal or a caffeine high.

LittleBird16: you're infuriating.

BigBird24: Yeah, love you too brat.

AcroJester17: Redbull! It gives you RABIES! 8DD"

**X~X~X~X~X**

"**FireCracker16 has logged on.**

**RockyKick16 has logged on.**

**MiniTwister15 has logged on.**

FireCracker16: hey Hewkii, about today…

RockyKick16: Yeah?

FireCracker16:…you were wearing shorts today and I couldn't help but notice but…dude, did you SHAVE your legs?

MiniTwister15: He totally DID! XDD

RockyKick16: GAH! It wasn't my FAULT! Damnit! You noticed!

FireCracker16: How can we NOT notice!?

MiniTwister15: Srsly! It was like you had two florescent lights attached to your legs! LOL

RockyKick16: AUGH! OTL

FireCracker16: So…mind explaining?

**LittleBird16 has logged on.**

LittleBrird16: he lost a bet with Macku lol

FireCracker16: Eh?

RockyKick16: ugh, just…tell them, my pride can't be anymore hurt than it is now…

MiniTwister15: Tell us!

FireCracker16: and how do you know about it?

LittleBird16: Alright. Well, Hewkii and Macku made a bet over how long they could juggle a soccer ball on their feet. Hewkii lost-

RockyKick16: I TRIPPED ok!?

LittleBird16: Then tie your shoes next time. Anyways, he lost, Macku won. The result was if she won, he had to go to school today with shaved legs and shorts. Oh, and if Hewkii won, she had to go to school wearing a skirt.

**Sk8erGurl16 has logged on.**

Sk8erGurl16: I REFUSE TO WEAR SKIRTS DAMNIT!

**Sk8erGurl16 has logged off.**

LittleBird16:…yeah. So end of story. Oh, and for some reason they made me their witness.

MiniTwister15: *is now convulsing via laughter* XDD

FireCracker16: Dude! That's just BAD! LOL

LittleBird16: It was hilarious actually. XDD

RockyKick16: Oh like you're one to talk mister waxed legs!

MiniTwister15: Holy shiz! You wax!?

FireCracker16: 4 real?

LittleBird16: I DO NOT! WTF!?

RockyKick16: Coulda fooled us! I say you got a lot of things you have yet to explain. You never change in the boy's locker room with us during gym, you constantly wear long pants, I haven't ONCE seen you in a tank top, nor have I seen any sign of facial hair growth, and for god's SAKE man! I can't even begin to tell you how skinny you are! And you have CHILDBEARING-HIPS!

LittleBird16: Just WHAT are you implying!?

RockyKick16: Oh nothing, just that your suspiciousness is suspicious…

FireCracker16: Now that I think of it, Hewkii's kinda got a point…

MiniTwister15: Yeah…

LittleBird16: What-!? I-! You actually think-! Oh you people are SICK! DX

RockyKick16: well then prove us wrong!

LittleBird16:…fine. Don't. Move…

**LittleBird16 is temporarily offline.**

RockyKick16:…what do ya think he's gonna do?

FireCracker16: No idea…

Minitwiste15: I'm actually kinda scared now…

FireCracker16: Wait a sec! I think I see him outside…

RockyKick16: SRSLY?

FireCracker16: Srsly! Wait…he's doing something…wait, now I see Hahli!...they're talking…Hahli's laughing…she's nodding now…they're saying bye and leaving now. Wtf?

MiniTwister15: Eh?

RockyKick16: the crap?

**LittleBird16 has logged back on.**

LittleBird16: There, happy?

FireCracker16: Erm, I would be if I knew what you did.

LittleBird16: Hm? Oh, right. I asked Hahli out. She said yes.

FireCracker16: **WHAT!?**

MiniTwister15:…dude…

RockyKick16: Uh…well…I'm convinced. He's not hiding anything.

FireCracker16: YOU ASKED HAHLI OUT?!

LittleBird16: geez you guys. I live in a constantly snowing area, you think I'd be wearing shorts or tanks in this? And maybe I don't use the locker rooms because I'm modest. Oh and maybe I have hips because…ok, I DO NOT have HIPS Hewkii!

FireCracker16: SHE SAID YES!?

RockyKick16: Well…! Ok, maybe we were off…

MiniTwuister15: lol whoops, sorry!

FireCracker16: SHE ACTUALLY SAID **YES!?**

LittleBird16: Forgiven. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to buy movie tickets.

MiniTwister15: Whatcha seeing?

LittleBird16: she wanted to see that new one, 'Soul Surfer'. It actually looks interesting.

RockyKick16: Oh yeah, Macku saw that one. She said it was pretty good.

FireCracker16: WHY!?

LittleBird16: Oh and one last thing. You could have avoided this whole thing by noticing that I have, quite frequently, used the boy's bathroom at school. All of you have run into me once or twice there before. Duh.

RockyKick16:….oh yeah.

MiniTwister15: *brick'd*

LittleBird16: See? Good things happen when you think. Well, bye!

**LittleBird16 has logged off.**

RockyKick16: Well…I got practice in a while. Might as well prepare for the verbal abuse. TwT

MiniTwister15: Yeah, and I'm hungry now. Good luck!

**MiniTwister15 has logged off.**

RockyKick16: See ya Jaller!

**RockyKick16 has logged off.**

FireCracker16:….SHE SAID YES!?"

**X~X~X~X~X**

"**Sk8erGurl16 has logged on.**

**RockyKick16 has logged on.**

Sk8erGurl16: lol how was practice? X3

RockyKick16: Never…again will I be able to look coach in the eye ever again. EVER. T~T

Sk8ergurl16: aw come on Hewkii! Least now you know what we girls go through every day. You think we were just born like this just to please you? Its hard work!

RockyKick16: Alright! I get it! Geez…and my GAWD it was painful to even do!

Sk8erGurl16: lol I noticed. You had bunch of bandaids on your legs. XD

RockyKick16: bad enough we had to have Matoro as a witness to the whole bet to hold us against it…

Sk8erGurl16: and you lost~! XDD

RockyKick16: hey, I tripped!

Sk8erGurl16: Then remember to tie your shoes! XD

RockyKick16: you sound just like Matoro…

Sk8erGurl16: speaking of which, did I hear right that he asked Hahli out?

RockyKick16: LOL not really, he just offered to take her to a movie, but he told us it wasn't a date-date. Or at least me and Kongu, Jaller is still fuming. XDD

Sk8erGurl16: XDD Jaller is going to kill him.

RockyKick16: eh, I wouldn't worry about the guy actually. He's got a surprisingly evil mind…and from what I hear, a serious right hook. OxO'

Sk8erGurl16: wow…I can't picture him hitting anyone though.

RockyKick16: you'd…be surprised. Just try to get away from him if he doesn't have any coffee with him. If he seems like he's clean off the stuff, RUN. Like, FAST.

Sk8erGurl16: I don't think that will be a problem slow-poke XD

RockyKick16: I am NOT slow! DX

Sk8erGurl16: XDD

RockyKick16: ugh…

Sk8erGurl16:…..so, you're still buying pizza today?

RockyKick16: Yeah, yeah…

Sk8erGurl16: Yay! No anchovies this time! It wasn't funny the last three times, it isn't going to be funny the fourth!

RockyKick16: XDD"

**X~X~X~X~X**

"_**Email~**_

To: BurntToast19

From: FrostyBite18

Subject: You're an ass...

Hey, Tahu, just wanted to write to you saying how thoroughly unimpressed I am with your little firecrackers-in-my-locker prank you pulled today. Now, thanks to you, I get double detention, a burnt locker with some lovely scorch marks, and possible second degree burns on my hands. Oh, and I think my eyebrows are half gone.

Thanks a lot you jack-ass, your very existence is the highlight of my day. Almost makes me not want to kill myself and take you with me to hell.

~K

x~x~x~x

To: FrostyBite18

From: BurntToast19

Subject: And you're a douche.

Why you are VERY welcome Kopaka. I just had the feeling, what with my generous nature, that you could use some good vibes today. Ergo some of my old firecrackers in your locker to your face. Did you enjoy the light show?

Back at you buddy. I can now imagine myself strangling you lovingly while cackling like a heyena.

Bro love~!

~T

x~x~x~x

To: BurntToast19

From: FrostyBite18

Subject: I hope you choke on your own spit in your sleep…

Oh you are too kind! I should repay you! In fact, I think I will tonight, you sick, demented, inbred son of a _bitch_…

It's 'hyena' not 'heyena' dumbass.

Yes, much love in the form of a fork to the throat. Makes me feel SO loved right now.

~K

x~x~x~x

To: FrostyBite18

From: BurntToast19

Subject: Um, ew, and I hope you sh** your organs out.

Hey, I just felt like repaying you for that lovely PRESENT you left in my backpack yesterday. Really, it was NO. TROUBLE. Now why not go stand in the middle of a street, bend over, and wait for that bus?

Whatever, heyena, hyena, heynana, I-hope-you-get-a-hernia, same dif.

Doncha tho? Just makes you think of skipping through a field of flowers now don't it?

~T

x~x~x~x

To: BurntToast19

From: FrostyBite18

Subject: If I do, it's gonna happen in your mouth.

Such a gentlemen! Now I feel I must pay YOU back for paying me back!

Ha-ha-ha, you dumbass animal, you…

Even better! I can just PICTURE our first date!

~K

x~x~x~x

To: FrostyBite18

From: BurntToast19

Subject: Oh, sounds kinky.

No no no! No gifts, please!

Why thank you!

Screw a date, will you MARRY ME?

~T

x~x~x~x

To: BurntToast19

From: FrostyBite18

Subject: Oh so you're a kink now? No wonder girls scream when they see you.

I insist!

You're f***ing welcome.

Let's elope!

~K

x~x~x~x

To: FrostyBite18

From: BurntToast19

Subject: Nah, they secretly line up for me. But what would you know you man-whore?

Nevah!

Such a gent.

Honeymoon in Florida, random, pointless butt sex, and future kids! 8DD

~T

x~x~x~x

To: BurntToast19

From: FrostyBite18

Subject:….

…

…

….

~K

x~x~x~x

To: FrostyBite18

From: BurntToast19

Subject:….uh…

…

…..

…I uh…went too far didn't I?

~T

x~x~x~x

To: BurntToast19

From: FrostyBite18

Subject:….yeah…

…

…..

Yeah…you did…

~K

x~x~x~x

To: FrostyBite18

From: BurntToast19

Subject:….uh-huh…

…So…

…..um….

…we NEVER speak of this again. EVER. Like, at all. Agreed?

~T

x~x~x~x

To: BurntToast19

From: FrostyBite18

Subject: …geez…

Agreed, o fearless one…

~K

x~x~x~x

To: FrostyBite18

From: BurntToast19

Subject:…

Right…

~T

x~x~x~x

To: BurntToast19

From: FrostyBite18

Subject: …

…..now if you'll excuse me, I'm calling the cops to file a phone-sexual harassment, and then I'm off to the hardware store to get some fire extinguishers and a shovel. Have a nice day.

~K

x~x~x~x

To: BurntToast19

From: FrostyBite18

Subject: …

…what the F*** does THAT mean!? Kopaka!

~T"

To be continued…


	5. Driving test, and pie

**Welcome to the Mata-chatroom.****  
**Ch. 5  
Driving test and, yep, pie. Yum…

**X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**BurntToast19 has logged on.  
FrostyBite18 has logged on.  
CaveCrawler19 has logged on.**

CaveCrawler19: hey has anyone seen Pohatu? He and I were supposed to work on a report together today.

BurntToast19: Uh-uh. Haven't seen him since class at least.

FrostyBite18: I think he said something about doing something with Lewa when we got out. Don't know what though. Wasn't paying attention.

BurntToast19: tch, figures.

CaveCrawle:19: ugh, well I gotta find him! Our report is due tomorrow and I suck at this subject!

FrostyBite18: Tried calling him?

CaveCrawler19: yeah, but he won't answer. Either he forgot to charge his phone again, or he broke it. Again.

BurntToast19: lol remember that time he broke his last phone from just sitting on it while it was in his back pocket? XDD

CaveCrawler19: hehe, that WAS pretty funny.

FrostyBite18: Well maybe he-

**DessertRunner18 has logged onto mobile chat.**

DessertRunner18: Guys!? Is that you!? I'm in serious crap here! D8

BurntToast19: What's up? Where are you at?

FrostyBite18: you didn't hit on that cop's daughter again did you?

DessertRunner18: WORSE!

CaveCrawler19: omg worse?

FrostyBite18: well what happened? And where are you?

DessertRunner18: Clinging to my seat and screaming like a little girl and possibly speeding into my own death AAAHHH!

BurntToast19:…I'm sorry, what now?

FrostyBite18: I heard 'screaming like a little girl'. Though that's nothing new to me coming from Pohatu.

CaveCrawler19: Mind elaborating?

DessertRunner18: Lewa's having his driver's test now and he said he needed a back-seat volunteer and I was stupid enough to agree! GAH! LEWA! TREE! TREE! TURN AROUND!

FrostyBite18:…you're in the same car as Lewa and letting him DRIVE?

BurntToast19: Are you SUICIDAL!?

CaveCrawler19: you blew me off so you could get yourself killed!? WTF?!

DessertRuner18: He said he'd give me twenty bucks if I-LEWA NOT THE CROSS-WALK! NO! KIDS! GAAAH!

FrostyBite18: omg Lewa's loose on the streets with a car and a hostage.

BurntToast19: We're all gonna die! D8

DesserteRunner18: I don't wanna die!

**SurferGurl17 has logged on.**

SurferGurl17: would somebody PLEASE tell me why I just saw Lewa plow through my front yard in a student car possibly with a screaming little girl in the back?

FrostyBite18: See above.

SurferGurl17:….is he CRAZY?

BurntToast19: I've been wondering about that guy's intelligence since the first day I met him.

DessertRunner18: I'M STILL HERE YOU KNOW?!

**AcroJester17 has logged onto mobile chat.**

AcroJester17: Hey gang! Omg guess what? I'm taking my driver's test now! 8DD

SurferGurl17: Lewa!? You're texting while you're driving?!

BurntToast19: Dude, this is just a whole new level of insanity from you.

DessertRunner18: LEWA! Put the damn phone down and- WAH! WAH! SQUIRREL!

AcroJester17: Whoa! Oops, sorry Pohatu! But I missed it!

DessertRunner18: And now we're in some kind of campus-OMG COFFEE STAND AAAHHH!

AcroJester17: Meep! Woah! Gotta go gang!

**AcroJester17 has logged off mobile chat.**

**RockSmasher23 has logged onto mobile chat.  
FireSpitter23 has logged onto mobile chat.**

RockSmasher23: DUDE! Some whacko student driver just crashed into campus and plowed right through the track and back onto the road! EPIC! XDD

FireSpitter23: What do you mean 'epic'?! Someone could have been hurt! And it sounded like he had a girl in there!

RockSmasher23: Don't even try to deny you enjoy demolition derbies in RL Vak X3

FrostyBite18: That was Lewa. And Pohatu.

CaveCrawler19: Ugh. That kind of thing isn't even worth twenty bucks.

DessertRunner18: I know that now-HOLY SH** LIL OLD LADY IN THE ROAD! LIL OLD LADY IN THE ROAD! **AAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHH**-

**DessertRunner18's signal has been lost.**

FrostyBite18:…er…Pohatu?

BurntToast19: Dude? O.o'

SurferGurl17: Don't just sit there making concerned emoticons! Someone call a paramedic! They could be hurt!

**LittleBird16 has logged onto mobile chat.**

LittleBird16: No, your idiot is fine…

FrostyBite18: Matoro? How do you know? You're at work right?

LittleBird16: yeah….

RockSmasher23: So…?

LittleBird16: Yeah, that bike I got last year, is now scrap metal, there's an open fountain-fire hydrant, a lamp post is now a limbo bar, and oh yeah, he f***ing rammed halfway into the display window, and now there are bunnies and ferrets EVERYWHERE! DX

FrostyBite18: Ooooohhh…shee-ot…

FireSpitter23: OMG OxO'

RockSmasher23: ROFL XDD

BurntToast19: HOMG I hope someone puts that on Mata-tube! XDXDXD

SurferGurl17: it's not funny! Are you ok Matoro?

LittleBird16: Peachy. As are Lewa and Pohatu…well, sort of. Pohatu's currently foaming at the mouth and won't let go of his seat. Now Lewa, on the other hand, is sitting here grinning to the bystanders and me, waving like an idiot…

CaveCrawler19: Typical Lewa…

LittleBird16: Uh-huh. So, the people are pissed, I'm pissed, my boss is gonna be pissed, and I get to spend the rest of my day playing round up with rabbits and ferrets. Which, by the way, aren't even FIXED yet!

FrostyBite18: OxO' oh geez Matoro…

BurntToast19: *is having a spastic seizure of laughter*

**Acrojester17 has logged onto mobile chat.**

AcroJester17: WOW! Man! Did anyone see that?! HOMG that was AWESOME!

CaveCrawler19: Lewa! You friggin rampaged half the city, tore up our siblings' campus, most likely scarred Pohatu for life, and crashed into a pet shop, thus releasing dozens of hormonal rodents loose on the city! That is NOT awesome!

AcroJester17: Well not if you say it like THAT. And the bunnies are cute! I got one in mah car now!...wait, now there's two…three…wow, what a party!

**LittleBird16 has logged off.**

AcroJester17: Oh, Matoro's looking at me funny…now he's got a broken pole…wait…why is he-? GAH! Matoro! WAIT!

**Acrojester17's signal has been lost.**

SurferGurl17:….

BurntToast19:…

RockSmasher23:…..

FireSpitter23:….

CaveCrawler19:…er…Kopaka?

FrostyBite18: Hm?

CaveCrawler19: Should we go help him?

FrostyBite18: If you're talking about Lewa, then HELL no. Guy has it coming. But I am going to have to go pick Matoro up and maybe help play round up. I'm bored anyways.

BurntToast19: oh well forgive us for being of so little entertainment to you.

FrostyBite18: you're welcome ass-wipe.

BurntToast19: Selfish prick.

FrostyBite18: Insufferable egotist.

**LittleBird16 has logged onto mobile chat.**

LittleBird16: ugh, girls, girls, you're both pretty, you gonna come help me now or what Kopaka?

SurferGurl17: lol

CaveCrawler19: XD

RockSmasher23: Listen to your baby bro icy lol

FireSpitter23: That goes for you too short-fuse.

BurntToast19: BP

FrostyBite18: ugh, yes, I'm coming. Be there in five.

**FrostyBite18 has logged off.**

FireSpitter23: So…what DID you do with Lewa?

LittleBird16: eh, nothing much. He won't be driving for a while anyways. That is, if he can steer with his feet.

BurntToast19:…I sometimes forget how much evil lives in your little innocent-faced body.

LittleBird16: Aw, you're so sweet! HEY! Jerry! Get back here and get back in your cage! Ugh…

**LittleBird16 has logged off.**

FireSpitter23:…well, it wasn't as bad as Tahu's first driver's test. At least Lewa didn't release a whole warehouse of chickens into the city.

BurntToast19: HEY!"

**X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"Poll by MiniTwister15.**

MiniTwister15: Ok, favorite flavor pie, go!

RainDrop15: Blueberry!

DirtDigger16: Mousse chocolate. Lol

LittleBird16: Coconut cream.

FireCracker16: Custard pie.

RockyKick16: Mama's old fashion apple with LOTS of whip cream! XD

Sk8erGurl16: Same as Hewkii, with a cherry on top lol

SilentNight16: Meringue. Nothing too sweet.

MiniTwister15: Blue-mousse-cream-custard-double-apple-meringue pie! 8DDD

FireCracker16:…ok, I'm beat.

RainDrop5: That actually sounds good.

LittleBird16: lol wow, it suits you Kongu. "

**X~X~X~X~X~X**

"RockSmasher23: so the guy walks up to me with the pitchfork, I still got a half bowl of soup and a mouth full of crackers, and he's all like-

BigBird24: 'Can I get directions to the nearest dance theater'. Yes Onewa, I've heard it before. It doesn't get any better the more you tell it.

RockSmasher23: True! But I never told you about what he said to me afterwards! He was all like-

**AirMonkey22 has logged on.**

BigBird24: What is it Matau?

AirMoneky22:…

RockSmasher23:…Matau?

AirMoneky22:….

BigBird24: Matau, is there something wr-

AirMoney22: I-I-I-I-I-I-I~ Know a song that get's on everybody's nerves~! Everybody's nerves~! Everybody's nerves~! I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes~!

RockSmasher23: O~O'

BigBird24: Oh my f***ing god, he's doing it again…!

RockSmasher23: omfg I can hear him down my hallway! D8

BigBird24: Onewa! Run! RUN!

RockSmasher23: He's here! He's HERE! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-!

**RockSmasher23's signal was lost.**

BigBird24:…..Onewa?...omg….. OxO'

AirMonkey22: I-I-I-I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves~! Everybody's nerves~! Everybody's nerves~! I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves~…

BigBird24: No….no….NO! GET OUT OF MY ROOM! NOO!

AirMoneky22: AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES! 8D"

To be continued…

**X~X~X~X~X~X**

_Derp-a-derp, where am I getting all this from? I only came up witht hise whole thing on a friggin whim. Didn't even plan it!...well neither did the previous four chaps, but still._

1.) Drivers test + Lewa + Pohatu as backseat test guy + Lewa + texting + Lewa = *world explodes*

2.) PIE! It is VERY yummy. Now I am craving it. Now you know something about me. And now you are going to get me a pie.

3.)...I-I-I-I-I-I Know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that get's on everybody's nerves, and THIS IS HOW IT GOES! 8D

_And there you have it. This concludes today's lesson kids! See ya next time!_


	6. Conventions and The Pineapple

**Welcome to the Mata-chatroom.**

Ch. 6

Conventions, and The Pineapple.

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**AirMonkey22 has logged onto mobile chat.**

**GroundPounder25 has logged on.**

**BigBird24 has logged on.**

**RockSmasher23 has logged on.**

AirMonkey22: DUDES! Best! Sci-fi convention! EVAH! 8DD

BigBird24: ugh, you actually WENT?

RockSmasher23: I thought you were kidding!

GroundPounder25: really guys? This IS Matau after all…

BigBird24: Well…yeah, but still. Can't help but hope that even Matau has SOME shred of pride in him with how boastful he is.

AirMonkey22: Do NOT mock the trekies! DXX

BigBird24: I mock ALL of you sci-fi nerds…

GroundPounder25: Dude, people are gonna mob you now if they find out you said that lol

RockSmasher23: Srsly, he's in a convention full of them. XD

BigBird24: Whatever. Btw, where the heck is Vakama at? He pretty much vanished yesterday and I need my notes back.

**FireSpitter23 has logged onto mobile chat.**

FireSpitter23: Erm, sorry Nuju, forgot about that. I won't be back til the end of the weekend. But there's a spare key on the door ledge if you need them now…

RockSmasher23: Dude, where are you at?

FireSpitter23:…nowhere…

GroundPounder25:…omfg no way…

FireSpitter23: It's not true!

AirMonkey22: XDXD Don't act like you don't love it here Vak! A true trekie would not deny his passion for bowl-hair cut wigs and space tights!

RockSmasher23: Oh my GAWD! You're at the friggin convention with him!?

BigBird24: You put something in his food didn't you Matau?

AirMonkey22: LOL nah! We share a friggin room together, didn't take me long to find the Kirk action figure in his closet X3

FireSpitter23: Don't TELL them!

GroundPounder25: Oh GAWD…

BigBird24: Vakama, I'm sorry, but I have now lost all respect for you.

RockSmasher23: Dude, did you get all dressed up in your silly costumes too? XD

AirMonkey22: it's called COSPLAY damnit! And yes, we did X3

GroundPounder25: Do we even wanna know what of?

FireSpitter23: DON'T-!

AirMonkey22: Obviously Vak dressed up at Kirk, and I'm Spock! LOL

BigBird24:…Matau, you CANNOT pull off a Spirk.

AirMonkey22: it's SPOCK! Not spirk!

BigBird24: I rest my case. Lol

AirMonkey22: you dare mock our lifestyle? Hab Sosli Quch! Take that you jerk!

BigBird24: OxO' WTF does THAT mean!?

FireSpitter23: Erm, it's Klingon for, 'your mother has a smooth forehead'…

BigBird24:….O….k…so, where's the insult?

RockSmasher23: It sounded like Spanish…maybe Wisconsin…

GroundPounder25: Onewa…Wisconsin is a state in the US. They speak English…

RockSmasher23: O.o' holy sh** they do!?

BigBird24: ugh, why did I leave home just so I could put up with this? At least Kopaka doesn't get all geeky when he goes to his comic conventions…

**FrostyBite18 has logged on.**

FrostyBite18: They're ANIME and MANGA conventions! There is a very distinct difference between comics and manga damnit! Don't insult me! DX

AirMonkey22: See? He gets it!

FrostyBite18: No, I get anime and manga, I don't get you or Trek Wars.

AirMonkey22: IT'S STAR TREK! And star wars.

FrostyBite18: ugh, whatever. Comic/sci-fi conventions are for nerds, geeks, and people with no lives. Anime/manga conventions are for the kewl ppl.

AirMonkey22: BLASPHEMY!

GroundPounder25: You're all blasphemy!

RockSmasher23: lol ah the classic sci-fi vs. anime dispute. Yay for personal conflict! XDD

**AquaGal22 has logged on.**

AquaGal22: How about this guys? You all log off, pick up a manga or comic, and get on with your lives so I can go to sleep kay?

FrostyBite18:…

AirMonkey22:….

FrostyBite18: ….I think I will.

**FrostyBite18 has logged off.**

AirMonkey22: yeah!

**AirMonkey22 has logged off mobile chat.**

BigBird24: ugh, I'm out of here.

RockSmasher23: Yeah.

GroundPounder25: Night.

**BigBird24 has logged off.**

**RockSmasher23 has logged off.**

**GroundPounder25 has logged off**.

FireSpitter23:…so…you don't think it's weird I uh…go to these things?

AquaGal22: oops. Gotta get up in time for an exam tomorrow! Night Vakama!

**AquaGal22 has fled-I mean, logged off.**

FireSpitter23:…ghay'cha! DX"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**Mata-chat journal update.**

**By RockyKick16.**

Eating: Sandwich.

Drinking: Water.

Doing: this. XD

Watching: Mah tv.

Current mood: Weirded out.

~ Dudes, I just found a pineapple on my bed sitting on my pillow. WTF?"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**LittleBird16 has logged onto mobile chat.**

**SilentNight16 has logged onto mobile chat.**

SilentNight16: Hey, Matoro? You okay? You fell over pretty hard…

LittleBird16: I'm fine Kopeke. The nurse wouldn't let me leave until the paramedics arrived. It was just a bump though.

SilentNight16: it's not just a bump! It's a fricken gash! The teacher said you might need stitches if you don't already have a concussion!

LittleBird16: Kopeke, I'm FINE! The doctor said I was okay, just a bit jumbled up!

SilentNight16: Ehrye's such an ass. Wish you could have seen his face when he saw you being taken away in an ambulance.

LittleBird16: Ugh, as well as the whole school…

**DirtDigger16 has logged onto mobile chat.**

**RainDrop15 has logged onto mobile chat.**

DirtDigger16: OMFG! Matoro! Are you okay!?

RainDrop15: What the hell happened!? People are saying you fell down the stairs!

LittleBird16: Oi vey, the rumors are starting already. It hasn't even been two hours…

DirtDrigger16: Don't give us that! What happened?

LittleBird16: Nothing, I tripped!

RainDrop15: Matoro, you're in the top ten of the ice hockey team and one of the fastest players, you're not clumsy enough to just TRIP!

LittleBird16: It was just-!

SilentNight16: Ehrye shoved him.

LittleBird16: ugh, please don't overreact…

DirtDigger16: -WHAT-!?

RainDrop15: -WHAT-!?

LittleBird16: And you overreact…

RainDrop15: Matoro! This is SERIOUS!

DirtDigger16: He's gone too far man! I mean, who the HELL shoves someone down the stairs for a kick!?

LittleBird16: Okay, number one, it was only five steps, two, I wasn't looking where I was going, and three, I can name at least ten people who would do it for a kick.

SilentNight16: The whole hallway saw him do it though! You were dazed for a full three minutes before you were able to speak!

RainDrop15: Shouldn't you still be in the hospital?

LittleBird16: oh for the love of…I'm fricken FINE! The doctor released me a few minutes ago, said it was just very mild damage.

DirtDigger16: Dude, nuju is going to MURDER him. And actually MEAN it this time when he finds out.

LittleBiord16: Too late. I feel awful though. Nuju cut out of his classes to come home and take care of me. He was hysterical when he came to pick me up. He was acting like I was DYING! He's not gonna let me out of bed for the next week…

SilentNight16: You think Kopaka would be any different?

LittleBird16: No. Though I did have to latch onto him before he took off with my hockey stick to do god knows what to Ehrye…

RainDrop15: Well so? We'd do the same!

DirtDigger16: Hell, I'd use a baseball bat.

RainDrop15: Yeah, and you should be resting! Why are you on here?

LittleBird16: I get bored easily! If I'm not going to be going to school or working for a week, I at least should be able to - ASDfghjkj45hdfghjkHJKii7865gthj

DirtDigger16: O.o Matoro…?

Littlebird16: Er, sorry, dropped my phone when I stood up…just a bit of uh…what's the word…?

RainDrop16: Vertigo…?

LittleBird16: Ya that's it! Um…hey does anyone remember my phone being orange?

SilentNight16: OxO' Matoro, maybe you should lay back down…

LittleBird16: No, no, I'm okay just a bit….um, I forget…

RainDrop15: Matoro…just…get back in bed. We'll bring you the homework and stuff if you need something to do!

DirtDigger16: Yeah! Just please, get some rest. We'll come over later to help out your brothers.

LittleBird16: But I'm fine…!

**BigBird24 has logged on.**

BigBird24: Matoro Iden Shiver! What are you doing on chat!? You should be resting!

LittleBird16: Uuh oh hi Nuju…

BigBird24: Don't give me that! You have a concussion Matoro!

LittleBird16: m'fine! Now get out of my room…!

BigBird24:…I'm not even IN your room. Yet.

LittleBird16: oh…

BigBird24:…kids, don't worry about him, you can see him tomorrow, but today, he needs rest. Whether he wants it or not.

SilentNight16: Erm…ok…

LittleBird16: Why is there a pineapple on my ceiling…?"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**FireCracker16 has logged onto mobile chat.**

**LightGuy15 has logged on.**

FireCracker16: Hey Takua, mind telling me just what Pewku is doing IN MY KITCHEN at three in the morning?

LightGuy15: Holy-!? She's at your house!?

FireCracker16: No, she's in MY FRIDGE eating me out of my own home! WTF?!

LightGuy15: Wha? Dude, I didn't know she was…well damn, what the crap is she thinking?

FireCracker16: She's your pet! You tell me!

LightGuy15: Well, get her out and, I don't know, lock her in your bathroom or something!

FireCracker16: Wait, she got out of the fridge….wait…why is she…? NO PEWKU NO! NO NO DOWN! BAD GIRL! NO!

**FireCracker16's signal has been lost.**

LightGuy15:…erm…Jaller?

…

LightGuy15:….so I'll pick her up in the morning?

…

LightGuy15: Kewl! Night!

**LightGuy15 has logged off."**

To be continued…

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

_Based on my coming back from Sakura-con a few days back! People, there is, in fact, a DIFFERENCE between anime/manga and comics! THEY'RE TOTALLY DIFFERENT DAMNIT ALL! DX_

_Pineapples: they will haunt you for life. Nuff said._

_NEVER mess with the cute guy with the overprotective brothers and friends. Also, if you notice your cellphone is orange, you may have a concussion. Or you're lactose intolerant. Or you're constipated. Hard to tell._

_SPAY AND NUITER YOUR PETS PEOPLE! 8DD_


	7. Bah-bah-bah goat in my yard

**Welcome to the Mata-chatroom.****  
**Ch. 7  
Bah-bah-bah-goat in mah yard! 

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X  
**  
**"MiniTwister15 has logged on.**

MiniTwister15: LOL I just bought a whole container of Skittles and now mah tongue is green! 8DD

FireCracker16: Um…yay?

LittleBird16: congrats.

RainbDrop15: Ew…

MiniTwister15: XDD now it's orange!

FireCracker16: You're so easily entertained…

MiniTwister15: I know! But hey, you know what I've been wondering?

LittleBird16: Why the chicken crossed the street?

RainDrop15: Why Greenland is called Greenland when it's nothing but snow?

FireCracker16: What can I do to annoy (insert random name here) today?

MiniTwister15:….okay, no, but I am going to wonder about those things later. But! You know the Skittles slogan, 'taste the rainbow'? It makes no sense! I eat tons of Skittles and I STILL can't taste colors yet! Just fruit!

LittleBird16: They're flavored according to color…

MiniTwister15: I know I know! But what if we could taste colors? What do you think green tastes like?

RainDrop15: that WOULD be interesting. Although green would probably taste icky…

LittleBird16: I think I read somewhere that if you taste purple, it means you're dying.

FireCracker16: For real?

LittleBird16: For real. Lol

MiniTwister15: phew, good thing I don't eat grapes!...wait…holy crap. I think I taste purple! I'm DYING!

RainDrop15: So what does it mean if you taste blue?

LittleBird16: you're either anorexic or you're diabetic.

FireCracker16:….and if you taste red?

LittleBird16: heartburn.

MiniTwister15: I'M DYING!

FireCracker16: Wow…

RainDrop15:…white?

LittleBird16: Hmm…if you taste white, then you are possibly gender confused.

RainDrop15:…

FireCracker16:…

LittleBird16:…what?

MiniTwister15: I'M DYING!

FireCracker16:…do YOU taste white?

LittleBird16: BI …gee, I dunno. Why don't you come over here and nom my hand and you tell me? Maybe I taste like purple!

MiniTwister15: BWAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

FireCracker16: Erm, no thanks…

RainDrop15:…you all do realize that this is the first real conversation we've had with Matoro since he's still bedridden, and it's about possibly tasting colors?

FireCracker16:…*facepalm*

MiniTwister15: I'M GONNA DIE AND I HAVEN'T EVEN HAD MY FIRST DATE YET!

LittleBird16: ugh, Kongu, you're not dying. I was kidding!

MiniTwister15:…

FireCracker16:….what?

RainDrop15: O.o'

LittleBird16:…yes…yes, I shamefully regret that I am SO BORED at the moment and possibly hopped up on pain meds that I'm getting my kicks out of making you all believe that tasting colors is possible and means something. DAMN I'm so getting an A+ on that psych paper on this experience.

MiniTwister15:…you're a sick, SICK person you know that!?

RainDrop15: How hard exactly did you hit your head? Oxo'

FireCracker16: Better yet, who f*** are you?

LittleBird16: Not my problem you all actually believed me. I mean really, TASTING colors? And meaning something? I'm actually impressed.

RainDrop15:…this is possibly the closest you're ever going to get to pulling a prank isn't it?

LittleBird16: I'm so BORED! Nuju won't even let me outside cause he's afraid something will fall from the sky and hit my head and make my concussion worse! T~T

RainDrop15: O.o'

**RockyKick16 has logged on.**

RockyKick16: Hey, does anyone know what the heck it means if you taste purple? I think I actually taste it.

RainDrop15:…

FireCracker16:…

MiniTwister15:…

LittleBird16:…you're pregnant. I'm tired. Nap time. Bye.

**LittleBird16 has logged off.**

RockyKick16: O~O' omfg what am I gonna tell mom…?"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"BigBird24 has logged on.**

BigBird24: Hey all! I'm a nerd-tastic overachieving jerk with no sense of humor or good vision, hence mah nerdy glasses! 8DD

GroundPounder25: Oxo' Uh…Nuju?

FireSpitter23: you feeling ok…?

BigBird24: Fantastic-great! I'm also a loser with the ladies cause I'm so cold hearted and make children cry! XDD

**AirMonkey22 has logged on.**

AirMonkey22: And I'm an underachieving trekie-dork who flirts with anything in a skirt like the man-whore I am!

FireSpitter23: Uh, Matau?

GroundPounder25: Wait a minute…

BigBird24: Oh yeah? I think anything from the 90's is stupid and lame and I would gladly stare at 'Uranus' for the rest of my life! XDD

FireSpitter23: Wait, Matau?

GroundPounder25: Unbelievable, you two hacked each other?

AirMonkey22: Hah! I sleep with a teddy bear named 'mister sperginson' at night and stare at Vakama in class imagining him being my bitch!

FireSpitter23: You do WHAT now!?

GroundPounder25: O.o'

BigBird24: Urgh! I have to constantly email my baby bro to check up on him cause I have no confidence in him as a man and I wish I had a plushie of him cause he's so CUTE! I also wish he had bunny ears instead of people ears!

AirMonkey24: YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

BigBird24: MAKE ME!

AirMonkey22: I PICK MY NOSE AND EAT IT THEN PICK MY TOES AND EAT IT! NOT ALWAYS IN THAT ORDER!

BigBird24: I EAT PUPPIES FOR BREAKFAST AND EVERYTIME I SMILE, A CHILD GETS CANCER!

AirMonkey22: I DRINK ORANGE JUICE **WHILE** I'M ON THE CAN AND DAYDREAM ABOUT MARRYING NOKAMA!

BigBird24: MY EXCUSE IS THAT I DID IN FACT DO MY HOMEWORK, BUT I WAS TOO STUPID TO REMEMBER TO WRITE IT DOWN!

Airmonkey22: EVERYTIME I GO TO THE BEACH, THE TIDE COMES IN! WHENEVER SOMEONE THROWS A BALL AT ME, IT TURNS RIGHT AND STARTS TO ORBIT MY HEAD! MY EGO IS SO BIG, I HAVE MY OWN GRAVITATIONAL **PULL!**

FireCracker23: Jesus CHRIST you two!

GroundPounder25: Turn your damn capslock off!

BigBird24: -Whenua, you're so HAWT!-  
AirMonkey22: -I'm secretly gay and am in love with you Vakama.-

AirMonkey22: -MATAU!-  
BigBird24: -DAMNIT NUJU!-

**BigBird24 has logged off to beat up Nuju.  
AirMonkey22 has logged off to beat up AND bury Matau.**

GroundPounder25: OxO' …

FireCracker23: o-o' …

GroundPounder25:…I feel so awkward now…

FireCracker23: I feel violated…

**BigBird24 has logged on (for real this time)**

BigBird24: HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL!?"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"GroundPounder25 has logged on.  
CaveCrawler19 has logged on.  
FireSpitter23 has logged on.  
BurntToast19 has logged on.**

Firespitter23: amazing, both our college and schools had the same biology trip to a farm/zoo today. Lol

BurntToast19: I know! It was weird, why would a college and a high school take on the same bio trip together?

CaveCrawler19: Well, both share the same district and are part of the same school line.

GroundPounder25: yeah, plus, both were founded by the same person I think. So both our campus' are basically brother schools.

BurntToast19: Huh, neat. Hey, Onua, you still sniffling? I thought you had hives or something back there.

CaveCrawler19: Nah, allergies are finally down. Too bad I'm allergic to farm stuff and had to go home early. Kopaka told me a lot of cool stuff happened there.

FireSpitter23: lol they did! Mostly from Matau and Lewa though, I'm surprised they didn't get kicked off the farm.

GroundPounder25: you shoulda seen it. It was hilarious. The baby ducks kept following Nuju everywhere, then the mom got pissed and chased him around the lake ROFL

CaveCrawler19: For REAL? LOL

**BigBird24 has logged on.**

BigBird24: yeah, for real, I got the beak-bite marks to prove it! Bitchy duck…

BurntToast19: XDD it was funny tho!

FireSpitter23: yeah mister 'bigbird'.

GroundPounder25: now we may just know why Matoro loves ya so much XDD

BigBird24: oh stfu. It wasn't as bad as we were in the barn going over animal medical procedures. Now Matau really pulled THAT off.

GroundPounder25: oh GAWD!

BurntToast19: *is laughing too hard to respond*

CaveCrawler19: What? What happened?

BigBird24: I'll just say that we were learning to take a horse's temperature. The vet chose Matau to give the demonstration. Need more details?

CaveCrawler19:…..excuse me, give me a moment while I fall out of my chair and have a spastic seizure of LAWLing. *does so*

BurntToast19: That was so messed up! ROFL

**FrostyBite18 has logged on.  
AirMonkey22 has logged on.  
AcroJester17 has logged on.**

AirMonkey22: It wasn't MY fault I put it in the wrong way! It's a friggin thermometer!

AcroJester17: ROFL Kopaka! Please tell me you got that on your camera!

FrostyBite18: posted it on Mata-tube an hour ago X3

AirMonkey22: you're all so mean!

BurntToast19: Dude! Send me a link!

CaveCrawler19: You gotta let me watch what you got! XDD

BigBird24: you better not have gotten me with those ducks…

FrostyBite18: it was hard not to. They followed you EVERYWHERE.

GroundPounder25: even the bathroom. LOL

FireSpitter23: XDD I never knew you could scream like that Nuju!

BigBird24: I DON'T! DX

**RockSmasher23 has logged on.  
DessertRunner18 has logged on.**

DessertRunner18: Dude, Kopaka! Your vid from our farm trip just made the top thirty on the Mata-tube page! 8D

FrostyBite18: Srsly?

AirMonkey22: No way! EVIL!

RockSmasher23: it's true. Poor Matau. I couldn't stop laughing! XDD That horse was so PISSED!

BurntToast19: XDD what about that part with the goat? Did you get that?

FrostyBite18: yeah…but I didn't think I should post it…

BigBird24: Why not? What happened with a goat?

DessertRunner18: Gali and Nokama happened with a goat…

GroundPounder25: poor gals…

CaveCrawler19: what?

DessertRunner18: it was…kind of funny…

FireSpitter23: dude, it was HORRIBLE!

BurntToast19: it was f***ing HILARIOUS!

BigBird24: What happened with the stupid goat and the girls!?

**SurferGurl17 has logged on.  
AquaGal22 has logged on.**

AquaGal22: a traumatizing experience, THAT'S what happened…

SurferGurl17: thanks for not posting it Kopaka…

FrostyBite18: I'm not THAT evil.

CaveCrawler19: Aw come on! Tell us!

AquaGal22: No!

SurferGurl17: I'm never going near another goat AGAIN! DX

RockSmasher23: just tell them!

Airmonkey22: Yeah, not like it's gonna make it worse.

AquaGal22:…

SurferGurl17:…oh…just show them the vid Kopaka. I don't wanna talk about it. T~T

FrostyBite18: Alright, no going back…

**FrostyBite18 has sent video-mail to all present in the chatroom.**

BigBird24:…okay…I see you two feeding a goat…

CaveCrawler19: Yeah…wait…oh…

BigBird24: Wait…what is it…? Oh…OH! WTF!?

GroundPounder25: OMFG! It's worse the second time you see it!

DessertRunner18: EEK!

BurntToast19: Holy sh** gross! XDD

CaveCrawler19: Why would a goat do THAT!?

BigBird24: Why did it eat your hat afterwards!?

AquaGal22: I don't know!

AirMonkey22: I'd get hungry too after that. XDD

SurferGurl17: Shut up! DX

FireSpitter23: Well, if it makes it any better, I think you look better without a hat…

AquaGal22:…rly?

FireSpitter23: Er, yeah! I mean, yeah, you look cute with a hat, but better without.

AquaGal22: R-really?

RockSmasher23: ugh, get a chatroom you two! XDD

BurntToast19: Srsly. XD

SurferGurl17: nice work sis! Lol

AquaGal22: oh be quiet you all!

FireSpitter23: *le mad blush*

DessertRunner28: lol hey wonder whatever happened to that goat anyways?

FrostyBite18: Who knows? Probably ate another hat.

**MiniTwister15 has logged on.**

MiniTwister15: Guys! I just found a goat in our backyard! EPIC!

BigBird24: O.o'

FireSpitter23:…wtf?

AquaGal22: O~O' what?

CaveCrawler19:…Lewa.

AcroJester17: Er, yeah?

CaveCrawler19: You didn't sneak that goat into the bus cargo hold and bring it home did you?

AcroJester17:…no….yes…maybe? 8D

**AquaGal22 and SurferGurl17 have fled in terror.**

DessertRunner18: Goats are weird…

BigBird24: I don't care if they fail me in bio, I'm never going back to that farm…

RockSmasher23: Quack! Quack! Quack! Quackquackquackquackquack!

BigBird24: STFU…"

To be continued…


	8. Lemonade, Note passing, The Pineapple

**Welcome to the Mata-chatroom.****  
**Ch. 8  
Lemonade, note passing, and return of the Pineapple.

**X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"AcroJester17 has logged on.**

AcroJester17: O hi eVer onE u gotts too trY thish StuFFS!

FrostyBite18: Lewa? The hell is wrong with your typing? Not that's it's been very great, but wtf?

BurntToast19: you high or something? Lol

AcroJester17: nUtthIng! Is jusTh fIne! This leMade ish GREAT!

SurferGurl17: Lemade…?

FrostyBite18: you mean lemonade?

AcroJester17: THas the oNes! XD

BurntToast19: Ok…so what the heck is wrong with you?

AcroJester17: OmG theers a Nob on MaH dOOr! RofL

SurferGurl17: O.o'

FrostyBite18:…Lewa, would this lemonade by chance be called 'Mike's lemonade'?

AcroJester17: Mikey's LemADe! YUM! iT makes the Wurldf do jumpin-JaCkS!

FrostyBite18: Okay…how much did you have?

AcroJester17: I tink two-toos? Maybe ate! oR TenS!

BurntToast19: Holy CRAP…!

SurferGurl17: Lewa! You're DRUNK!?

FrostyBite18: Apparently…

AcroJester17: NO! Is juS leMade!

BurntToast19: Lewa, Mikes Lemonade is an ACOHOLIC lemonade!

SurferGurl17: Where did you even GET it!? Stores don't sell alcohol to minors!

AcroJester17: hi DunNo! Iz aLl a bluRR naow hehehe!

FrostyBite18: Dude, your parents are going to kill you if they find you drunk off your butt.

BurntToast19: you're so awesome Lewa! XDXDXD

SurferGurl17: it's not funny Tahu!

FrostyBite18: it…kind of is actually.

SurferGurl17: ugh, men…

AcroJester17: Aw ComE ON! Iz not THa ba - hoozabgzi;gfesBVAHGSHGA

BurntToast19:…Lewa?

SurferGurl17:…

FrostyBite18:…he passed out on his keyboard didn't he?

BurntToast19: Wouldn't put it past him.

SurferGurl17: Should we uh…go help him?

FrostyBite18: Nah. Let him sleep it off and we'll talk to him tomorrow at school.

SurferGurl17: You think his parents would send him to school with a hangover?

BurntToast19: Hey, the folks made me do it when I first got hammered, remember?

FrostyBite18: Yeah, it was the same day you passed out and vomited. ON ME.

SurferGurl17: Gross…"

**X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"Mata-chat journal update.  
By RockyKick16.**

Eating: Mac an' cheez.  
Drinking: Water.  
Doing: Noming said mac.  
Watching: Nothing.

Current mood: Suspicious.

I just found that damn pineapple in my bathroom! And it had one of my kitchen knives! WTF does it want with me!? If this is another one of your pranks Kongu, I'm stuffing that pineapple down your throat!"

**X~X~X~X~X~X  
**  
"To: Princess.  
From: Ehrye.

Hey, princess, what's the answer to number four?

~E 

~x~x~x~

To: Ehrye.  
From: Matoro.

Ugh, Ehrye, please stop calling me 'princess'. You've been calling me that since third grade. I'm not a girl…  
And why would I help you cheat?

~M 

~x~x~x~

To: Princess.  
From: Ehrye.

It fits you though. Get over it wimp.  
Cause I'm awesome. Now tell me!

~E 

~x~x~x~

To: Ehrye.  
From: Matoro.

Cut it out, the teacher will catch us.  
No.

~M 

~x~x~x~

To: Princess.  
From: Ehrye.

Tch, teacher's pet.  
Ugh, you suck!

~E 

~x~x~x~

To: Ehrye.  
From: Kopeke.

Just drop it you jerk.  
Isn't there a restraining order on you?

~K 

~x~x~x~

To: Kopeke.  
From: Ehrye.

Lay off nerd!  
Yeah, his jerk big brother got one from last week's accident.

~E 

~x~x~x~

To: Ehrye.  
From: Kopeke.

Make me…  
Yeah, 'accident'. Keep telling yourself that.

~K 

~x~x~x~

To: Ehrye, Kopeke.  
From: Matoro.

Guys, cut it out. Teacher is looking at you funny.  
And the answer is still no Ehrye. I'm not giving you any answers. Why not try studying for once instead of using your books as snowball shields?

~M 

~x~x~x~

To: Princess.  
From: Ehrye.

Whatever! Who cares about the dumb teacher?  
Tch, where's the fun in that?

~E 

~x~x~x~

The teacher crumbled up the note that was to make its way to Matoro. He frowned at Ehrye, it not-so rare happening in this, and other, classes. Ehrye gave him his trademark cheeky nervous grin, as if the look would let him off the hook. Maybe sometime in the past it did, but up until fifth grade, nothing works.

"Ehrye, I'm assuming you know the drill by now?" he asked.

Ehrye groaned and stood up with sagged shoulders, stuffing his hands into his hoodie pocket.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know the drill. Geez…" he grumbled, marching for the door. But he spared a sour look to Matoro. The smaller Matoran returned it with a sigh and a shake of the head.

"Think he's ever going to give up?" Kopeke whispered to him.

"No…" Matoro put his chin on his hands, looking over the quiz they were in the middle of, "Although, he does make life interesting, I'll give him that." He said with a wry grin.

**X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"RockSmasher23 has logged on.**

RockSmasher23: Am I seeing things right, or am I seeing Whenua being chased by a _Skunk_ in the parking lot?

AirMonkey22: It's real! I'm seeing it too! ROFL

BigBird24: For real? A full grown 25 year old man probably big enough to compete in the MMA is being chased down by a SKUNK?

AquaGal22: It's a SKUNK guys! You ever been sprayed by one?

RockSMasher23: No. But really Nokama? He's the biggest dude among us and he's screaming like a little girl that saw a spider!

BigBird24: I am NEVER letting him live this down. XDD

**GroundPounder25 has logged onto mobile chat.**

GroundPounder25: Damnit! Someone get out here and get rid of that black and white demon! DX

AirMonkey22: ROFL where are you? I lost you on the east side!

RockSMasher23: Wait, I think I see you…dude! You're in a fricken tree? XDXDXD

AirMoneky22: LAWL

BigBird24: PFT! Fail.

AquaGal22: *facepalm*

GroundPounder25: shut up! I HATE Skunks! And this one just came out of nowhere and started hissing and chasing me!

**BigBird24 has logged off.**

RockSmasher23: where'd Nuju go?

AirMonkey22: I think I sight-see him going to Whenua…he has his phone and is speak-talking to someone. And he has a camera.

AquaGal22: I see him too…

RockSmasher23: Hey, Whenua, he saying anything to you?

GroundPounder25: He's coming to me! Thank GAWD! Wait…he's on one of the cars close to me. He wants to talk…

AirMonkey22: What's he saying?

GroundPounder25:…what!? No friggin WAY!

AquaGa22l: What is it?

GroundPounder25: He wants me to admit, ON CAMERA, that my methods are inferior to his and that I'm a loud-mouth gorilla!

**BigBird24 has logged onto mobile chat.**

BigBird24: Just admit it Whenua. It'll make things a lot easier, and I'll get rid of the skunk.

GroundPounder25: HOW!?

BigBird24: I borrowed some firecrackers from Vakama. I also called Matoro on the matter, he says skunks will run and hide from loud noises.

GroundPounder24: I'm NOT doing it damnit!

BigBird24: Okay, don't come crying to me when you're bathing in tomato juice and getting rabies shots~

AquaGal22: Whenua, just do it! It's not going anywhere!

AirMonkey22: No don't! I wanna see how long the skunk will keep this up! XDD

RockSmasher23: Dude, man up and just confess as painlessly as possible. Like tearing off a band aid. LOL

GroundPounder25: NEVER!

BigBird24: The skunk is starting to foam…

GroundPounder25: FINE!

RockSmasher23: HOMG he's doing it! XDD

**LittleBird16 has logged on.**

LittleBird16: Erm, I forgot to ask. Would this skunk by chance be rabid?

RockSmasher23: it's foaming and came at Whenua out of nowhere, if that counts as anything.

AquaGal22: Why?

LittleBird16: Well you see…the thing is, if he scares a rabid skunk…

AirMonkey22: there go the firecrackers! LOL

AquaGal22: …that skunk looks mad now.

BigBird24: Aw sh**…

**BigBird24 has fled from raging skunk.**

LittleBird16: Erm…THAT. That'll happen. Sorry Nuju!

GroundPounder25: HAH! Karma prevails again! XDD

RockSmasher23: Ooooh! Yeesh…that's gotta sting.

AquaGal22: Oxo' ew…

AirMonkey22: poor Nuju…

GroundPounder25: Meh, we're even now I guess lol"

To be continued…

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

_This can and probably already HAS happened before. Honestly, when I was little, I thought it was just lemonade with a kick, not alcohol until I was ten XDD_

_The pineapple RETURNS! And apparently has a thing for Hewkii X3_

_Passing notes to cheat will get you in trouble kids. USE those books for once! And not for demolition derbies with your hot wheels or mini ramps for your skateboards._

_This happened once actually to my big brother. Not in the same sense, not at all, but he did get chased down by a VERY mean skunk when we lived in CA. He barely got away, but it was hilarious XDD_

_See? What I tell ya? Complete waste of time. We have learned nothing here! 8DD Just like real school!_


	9. SPIDERS! And Donuts

**Welcome to the Mata-chatroom.  
**Ch. 9  
SPIDER! And donuts.

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"BigBird24 has logged onto mobile chat.**

BigBird24: Matau, you have exactly ten seconds to give me back my computer before I BREAK THE DOOR DOWN and do something VERY illegal to you!

AirMonkey22:…well geez, how do you KNOW I took your computer? Could have been Whenua. HM?

BigBird24: There is a TRAIL of potato chip crumbs all over my friggin desk. Your oily finger prints are all over my telescope lens, oh and here's a finger-pointer, you left your goddamn comic book here with YOUR NAME written on the back reading 'property of Matau, do not touch or read unless you are Matau.' You want me to get out that Krispy Kream donut you left behind too!?

AirMonkey22:…okay, THOSE could have come from anyone! And Matau is a pretty common name!

BigBird24: Why did you even take my laptop!? You have your own don't you!?

AirMonkey22: Well yeah, I did, but…

BigBird24: But…?

AirMonkey22: Well, you see…I was watching the full series rerun of Star Trek last night with Vak, and we had all kind of snacks and drinks and crap like that, then that epic part where Kirk kick's that one guy's ass happened and we kind of made a mess and then my lappy started sizzling then it started sparking then it went all boom and we ate a sandwich. 8D

BigBird24:….give me back my laptop or you're f***ing dead.

AirMonkey22: But Nuuuuujjuuuu! We have to finish the series! We only got halfway through before the boom happened! D8

BigBird24: I don't care when the boom happened! I don't want your greasy little paws ruining my laptop!

AirMonkey22: I'll be careful! I swear, your desktop and keys will be FINE!

BigBird24: listen you, I-…wait, how did you even get the password to my desktop?

AirMonkey22: Wasn't hard dude…

BigBird24: oh really? You hire a hacker or something, you horse probe.

AirMonkey22: DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT! DX But no, no hacker, it was…actually pretty easy.

BigBird24: oh? Then what is it?

AirMonkey22: 'SnowBunnyBro'

BigBird24:…

AirMonkey22: Dude, you got some serious issues with your baby bro. XDD

BigBird24:…Matau.

AirMonkey22: Yeah?

BigBird24: I am going to burn your comic now. Then I'm going to eat the rest of that donut you left behind since I am hungry and skipped breakfast. Then, when I am done, I am breaking into yours and vak's room, then I am going to do AT LEAST 43 of the top 50 illegal things to do in Canada, the US, Asia, Europe, Australia, and some parts of South America. Point being here is, I am going to hurt you. Badly. You have ten minutes to call a paramedic, or a medical examiner, to pick up your remains. M'kay?

AirMonkey22: NOOOO! NOT THE DONUT! It's delicious! NO!

BigBird24: I AM EATING YOUR F***ING DONUT YOU ASS!

**BigBird24 has logged off to perform illegal activities and eat Matau's donut.**

Airmonkey22: NOOO! No! You were so young! So YOUNG! T~T"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"Mata-chat tweet update.  
By DessertRunner18.**

Mood: Happeh! 8D  
Doing: Writing a quiz in class.

Just came into chemistry class from lunch.  
Just sat down in my chair.  
Brought a donut with me from the cafeteria.  
Can't understand what the teacher is saying.  
I didn't study!  
Just got my quiz.  
I'm scared! D8  
Hey, my donut's still here.  
Just nommed mah donut.  
…wow, this donut is delicious!"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"DirtDigger16 has requested a webcam chat to LittleBird16.  
LittleBird16 has accepted request.  
DirtDigger16 has appeared on screen.**

DirtDigger16: MATORO! OMG IT'S HUGE GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FREAKISH FREAK OF NATURE OH MY FRICKIN GOD LOOK AT THOSE LEGS THEY'RE EVERYWHERE IT'S SO HAIRY GET AWAY FROM ME DON'T F***ING GO IN MY CLOSET! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

LittleBird16: Judas Priest Nuparu! What the hell is going on!? You sound like someone's being murdered!

DirtDigger16: HELP!

LittleBird16: What!? What!? What do you need me to do!?

DirtDigger16: YOU NEED TO COME OVER AND SQUISH IT!

LittleBird16:…wait, squish?

DirtDigger16: YES! Look at that thing! It's huge, and it's hairy, and it's crawling all over my walls and HOMFG IT JUST TWITCHED AT ME!

LittleBird16:…a bug?

DirtDigger16: A SPIDER! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

LittleBird16:….Nuparu…it is 3:24 in the morning. You woke me up, at 3:24 AM, to get me to come over, and squish a spider?

DirtDigger16: YES! NOW HELP ME BEFORE IT TOUCHES ME!

LittleBird16: Nuparu…I am NOT a morning person. I'm even less an EARLY morning person. You know I can and will be a bitch if I don't get my sleep. You also realize, you're calling me at 3 in the morning to _kill a bug that's no bigger than your thumb?_ You have exactly five seconds to come up with some better excuse then this to prevent me from kicking your butt at school today.

DirtDigger16: YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! This thing is F***ING HUGE!

LittleBird16: get your brother or parents to kill it! Hell! Get your fricken CAT to do it!

DirtDigger16: Onua's staying over at Pohatu's for a study thing and my parents are visiting grandma out of town and my cat is pissed at me for giving him a bath yesterday!

LittleBird16: Then why call me!?

DirtDigger16:…I enjoy your company.

LittleBird16:…Nuparu.

DirtDigger16: Yeah?

LittleBird16: I'm hanging up now.

**LittleBird16 has broken webcam connection.**

DirtDigger16: Matoro? Matoro!? What about the spid-HOMG YOU GET OFF MY DONUT DAMNIT! EEEEEEEEKKKKK!"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"FrostyBite18 has logged onto mobile chat.  
BurntToast19 has logged onto mobile chat.**

BurntToast19: Dude, I mean it, I am so…oh hell, no I'm not sorry, this is f***ing HILARIOUS!

FrostyBite18: **F*** YOU** you son of a bitch…!

BurntToast19: HAHAHAHAHAHA! XDD Oh GAWD! Kopaka! That was so bad! XDD

FrostyBite18: Bastard! You KNOW I'm allergic to mushrooms! Oh god…!

BurntToast19: Omg…are you still on the-?

FrostyBite18: STFU! It's all your fault I'm stuck in my friggin bathroom for the next six hours!

BurntToast19: O MAH GAWD! LMAOROFLBBQ XDD

FrostyBite18: I said SHUT UP! Do you have any idea how painful his is!? I'm itchy all over and I can barely breathe!

BurntToast19: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! ROFL! But you can't blame my mom! She invited you to dinner out of the goodness of her heart!

FrostyBite18: You forgot to TELL HER that I'm allergic to various, if not all, forms of mushroom you ASS WIPE!

BurntToast19: So I forgot! And it's YOUR fault for not checking the curry she made. You're such a pig! Portobello 'shrooms should be nothing for you anyways! You can eat ten burritos with nothing but the Tabasco bottles in them and not so much as belch!

FrostyBite18: Well this is different! SHROOMS ARE THE DIFFERNCE BETWEEN SPICY-HOT-PLEASURE AND A FULL EVENING SH**ING MY ORGANS OUT!

BurntToast19: My god, you kiss your mother with that mouth? XD

FrostyBite18: Either you make your ass useful, go down to the little store, pick up some Benadryl and a snowboard's monthly magazine, and bring them to me, or I blow the whistle on who REALLY got locked in the girl's bathroom in third grade and peed his pants because he was too scared to use the toilet!

BurntToast19: You wouldn't…!

FrostyBite18: Oh look, there's the tweet button, right there! It looks so shiny and clickable!

BurntToast19: ALRIGHT! My GAWD you're evil.

FrostyBite18: I didn't drop the apocalyptic beginning of WWIII into your intestines with the aid of a fricken fungus!

BurntToast19: Jesus, you're such a bitch when you're all allergic…

FrostyBite18: Shut up and get me my drugs! DX"

To be continued…


	10. Karaoke and Canadian Bacon

**Welcome to the Mata-chatroom.****  
**Ch. 10

Karaoke, and Canadian bacon!

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"MiniTwister15 has logged on.  
LittleBird16 has logged on.  
FireCracker16 has logged on.  
RainDrop15 has logged on.**

Minitwister15: Dudes! Matoro can reach soprano notes! HOLY CRAP! ROFL

LittleBird16: Shut up! I do NOT!

RainDrop15: LOL don't deny it Matoro! We were all there! XD

FireCracker16: Nearly shattered my ear drums dude. Lol

LittleBird16: Urgh…

**BurntToast19 has logged on.  
FrostyBite18 has logged on.  
DessertRunner18 has logged on.**

BurntToast19: ROFL Matoro! Since when could you go all head-banger like that? XDD

LittleBird16: How the hell do-? DAMNIT KONGU! Did you record us!?

MiniTwister15: Maaaaaybe?

FireCracker16: evil. XD

DessertRunner18: Holy crap kid! XDD you got over a thousand hits in less than a day!

FrostyBite18: Where the heck was this anyways? Lol

RainDrop15: Kongu invited us to his aunt Harmony's karaoke bar for the night and somehow got Matoro to sing 'This is How I Disappear' on stage XDD

FrostyBite18: Nuju will be so proud. LOL

**AirMonkey22 has logged on.**

AinMonkey22: I missed THIS!? No fair!

LittleBird16: Oh up all yours.

MiniTwister16: Aw, someone's all celebrity-cranky! XDD

LittleBird16: Tch, yeah, see if I'll ever help you with your math homework ever again. And how did you find out!?

AirMonkey22: You made it onto auntie's top ten wall of fame kiddo! You're playing on the vid screen as we type! XDD

DessertRunner18: Dude, EPIC!

FrostyBite18: someone link me that vid. Nuju's gotta see this. Lol

LittleBird16: Oh? And I think Nuju needs to see what REALLY happened to his old canary three years ago.

FrostyBite18:…touché.

DessertRunner18: Srsly though, since WHEN could you do screamo notes? It was weird as hell watching you go all Hot Cross on us.

LittleBird16: Is it too much? Is it really too much to ask for ONE DAY to go by without others questioning my freakish attributes?

AirMonkey22: been hitting the dictionary again? XD

LittleBird16: Bite me. And at least I didn't sound like I was going through puberty KONGU.

MiniTwister15: I STUMBLED ok!? I stumble over words! And I have a cold!

BurntToast19: did he go up and do the carameldance?

FireCracker16: Yes.

AirMonkey22: That's my bro! XD

MiniTwister15: *bro fist* XD

BurntToast19: Someone send me a link damnit! XD

LittleBird16: This is so stupid…

RainDrop15: oh calm down Matoro. We're just teasing!

LittleBird16: I'm never setting foot in a karaoke bar ever AGAIN…

**BigBird24 has logged on.**

BigBird24: Kopaka, call me. Now.

FrostyBite18: O-kay…

**FrostyBite18 has moved to cellphone.**

Airmonkey22:…wait…dude, I think I hear your…o mai GAWD! You heard it too! ROFL

BigBird24: guess what my new ringtone is. X3

LittleBird16:….

BigBird24: what? No comment?

LittleBird16: Kopaka killed your canary with a bowl of cereal and a fork.

**LittleBird16 has logged off.**

BigBird24:…what?

ForstyBite18: *catches a bus to Canada*"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"MiniTwister15 has logged on.**

MiniTwister15: HOLY CRAPPLES PPL! I'm rich!

RockyKick16: I thought you were Kongu. XDD

MiniTwister15: Don't spoil this for me! I'm fricken loaded now! XDD

LittleBird16: Yesterday you were complaining about not having enough money for a bag of nuts from the vending machine. Now you're saying you're loaded?

DirtDigger16: Yeah, what up with dat?

MiniTwister15: Okay, this is how it happened. You all know my uncle right?

RockyKick16: Which one?

DirtDigger16: Yeah, your family is HUGE.

MiniTwister15: The one who's the pilot of the Metru-airport on the north end!

LittleBird16: Oh yeah…didn't he think I was your girlfriend last time we visited?

RockyKick16: XDD that was funny.

LittleBird16: Shut up…

DirtDigger16: Whatever! So what happened? You rob someone or something?

MiniTwister15: No! Anyways, mom and dad sent me to uncle to look after me while they go out of town. So I got to go to work with him! And guess what I found in the bathroom?

LittleBird16:….in the bathroom?

MiniTwister15: Yeah!

LittleBird16:…do we WANT to know what you found in the _bathroom?_

MiniTwister15: Oh whatever! I found a 10,000$ bill bastards! I'M RICH!

RockyKick16: WHAT!?

DirtDigger16: Are you for cereal!? You lucky bastard!

MiniTwister15: I know! I'm set for life!

LittleBird16: Wait…Kongu, you don't find it a bit ODD to find a large bill in the bathroom of an airport?

MiniTwister15: Pft, no. I doubt terrorists are converting to robbers.

LittleBird16: Uh-huh…and this bill. Did it seem smaller than, say, a one dollar bill?

MiniTwister15: Erm, yeah, kind of, but it was fatter.

LittleBird16: Uh-huh. You mind sending me a pic of the bill?

MiniTwister15: oh wanna drool over it too? Okee!

**MiniTwister15 is temporarily offline.**

DirtDiger16: Uh-oh. You know something~?

RockyKick16: is it bad?

LittleBird16: Depends…

**LittleBird16 has received picture mail~!**

**MiniTwister15 is back online.**

MiniTwister15: Hah! See? Authentic and LOADED babeh!

LittleBird16:…yeah. I see it but…

MiniTwister15: What? It has to be real! I saw a person when I held it up to the light!

LittleBird16: Your uncle works in the world-wide department of the airport right?

MiniTwister15: Erm, yeah. So?

LittleBird16: So he gets a lot of foreigners, right?

MiniTwister15: Where you getting at…?

DirtDigger16:…oh gawd. Is it?

**LittleBird16 has posted a picture.**

RockyKick16:…oh.

DirtDigger16: Damn, sorry Kongu, but this isn't what you think it is…

MiniTwister15: What? WHAT!? Is it counterfeit!?

LittleBird16: No, it's real but…

MiniTwister15: But WHAT!?

LittleBird16: it's in Yen.

MiniTwister15:…ok, yeah so? I'll take it to a conversion bank and get our country money out of it.

RockyKick16: Kongu, Yen compared to our currency is extremely low! One American dollar has almost no equivalent to a one yen coin!

MiniTwister15:…wha?

LittleBird16: It means, that a 10,000 yen bill has less value than American dollars. It's worth less here than it is in Japan.

MiniTwister16: WHAT!? Then how much is it equal to in our country!?

LittleBird16: If I have it right, 10,000 yen here in the US would be close to about….ten dollars, if not less to nothing at all.

MiniTwister15: O-O'

DirtDigger16: Yep, sorry dude. My cousin went to Japan on a month long trip, and Matoro's got it pretty right. Jap money compared to US currency isn't worth much.

RockyKick16: So in short, this bill is virtually worthless here.

LittleBird16: Yep. Foreign money doesn't give much these days. If anything, this bill is worthless if it was manufactured more than two years ago. And you can't even get it properly converted without ID and proof that it's your money. And you certainly don't look like you're from any part of Asia…

MiniTwister15: O~O' ….so…I'm not rich?

LittleBird16: Well, if you count getting little more than few bucks as rich, then no.

MiniTwister15:….so….I should cancel that order on the giant plasma screen I ordered?

LittleBird16: Erm, I would. Like, now.

MiniTwister15:…and that llama I ordered from Tibet?

LittleBird16:…Kongu, at this rate, I'd just change my name, leave the city, shave my head, and start a new life.

DirtDigger16: NOES! Not your pretty hair! D8

MiniTwister15: *wallowing in a corner* Uuuugggghhhhhh…"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"AirMonkey22 has logged on.**

Airmonkey22: Canadians are LIERS!

FireSpitter23:…erm….why?

BigBird24: Don't ask Vakama. Just sit there and pretend he's not there, that way we won't become involved in some random debate and lose more brain cells.

RockSmasher23: Gotta agree with icy on this one.

AirMonkey22: but it's true!

FireSpitter23: ugh, you're going to rave about it anyways, so what did they lie to you about?

AirMonkey22: Okay, so my cousin, you remember her right? She runs a magazine catalog processing warehouse.

BigBird24: Erm…Paige?

AirMonkey22: Yeah! So she sends me a sample of this special Canadian food magazine. So I find something that sounds yummy and ring up my second cousin, who runs that world-wide shipping truck thing, remember him?

FireSpitter23: Uh…Wheeler?

Airmonkey22: yeah! So I ring him up to you know, cut down the money on delivery and such, and order my noms. And guess what I get!?

RockSmasher23: Erm…something that isn't your noms?

AirMonkey22: I ordered Canadian bacon. But instead, they send me HAM! I ordered BACON people! And I get sliced HAM!

BigBird24:…you CANNOT be this stupid.

RockSmasher23: ROFL omg Matau, you're so awesome! LOL

FireSpitter23: *facepalm*

AirMonkey22: What? What!?

BigBird24: ugh, Matau, Canadian bacon is SUPPOSED to look like ham! It's how they make it! Comes from the same animal, tastes the same, its bacon, just in circular form!

AirMonkey22:….it is? O.o'

FireSpitter23: Yep.

RockSmasher23: XDD it's true dude!

AirMonkey22: Well…well how do YOU know icy!? Hm!?

BigBird24: How do you think? My mother's side is Canadian!

FireSpiter23: -it is!?-  
RockSmasher23: -it is!?-  
Airmonkey22: -it is!?-

BigBird24: -_-' yes. My mother's side is Canadian, my father's Alaskan. Got a problem with that?

AirMoneky22: So…you were, like, born in Canada or Alaska?

BigBird24: Born in Canada, moved to Alaska with dad after the divorce, moved to the US when Matoro was around three.

RockSmasher23:…so…you're like…an immigrant?

BigBird24:….okay, I say some very deep facts about myself, and THAT'S all you seem to catch?

AirMonke22: So you're like, here illegally?

BigBird24: URGH! Okay! Number one, Alaska is considered US territory, second, NO, I am not illegal, I HAVE a VISA!

FireSpitter23:…wait, your parents are divorced?

BigBird24: *facepalm* unbelievable. All those times you've been over to my own home, you didn't ONCE notice that it's only me, Kopaka, and Matoro?

RockSmasher23: Wait…you all live completely ALONE!?

Airmonkey22: How the hell did THAT happen!? And how is it you get by!?

BigBird24: I moved out at 18 because I was sick of my parents' constant grab at each other's throats and constantly pushing poor Matoro into running the family business, they pay for our expenses as long as I take care of Matoro and Ko-WHY THE HELL AM I TELLING YOU ALL THIS!?

FireSpitter23:…you…have a very uh…interesting family.

BigBird24: f*** you all.

**BigBird24 has logged off.**

FireSpitter23:…

Airmonkey22:…

RockSmasher23:…

FireSpitter23: So…what were we talking about before all this?

RockSmasher23: I dunno. All I know is that I'm craving bacon right now…

Airmonkey22: Me too!

FireSpitter23: meh, whatever. See you two in class.

**FireSpitter23 has logged off.**

RockSmasher23: see ya.

**RockSmasher23 has logged off to find bacon.**

AirMonkey22: See ya guys!

**AirMonkey22 has logged off.**

…

**AirMonkey22 has logged back on.**

AirMonkey22: Where'd this ham come from!?"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"Mata-chat journal update.  
By RockyKick16.**  
  
Eating: Nothing.  
Drinking: Nothing.  
Doing: chores. Blech.  
Watching: Nothing.

Current mood: FREAKIN' OUT.

Okay….I am on my mobile-chat now…was outside, mowing the lawn…the pineapple is BACK…and it somehow got my dad's hedge trimmers. Please…if anyone is reading this…now you know…that magic zombie raccoons are after me and the pineapple was hired as a hitman…!"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"Mata-chat tweet update.  
By GroundPounder25.**

Mood: Moderate  
Doing: Staring at my window...

Just woke up. Looked outside. Saw something on my window.  
Got a closer look. Now I see what it is.  
One question.  
…why is there ham on my window?  
O.o"

To be continued…

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

_1) I heart this song, and when I was listening to it once while in one of 'those' moods, I somehow got the mental image of Matoro singing it. Don't ask how or why, it just happened. See here for the song. w w w . youtube watch ? v = k  
Skip to 2:38 and up to 2:57 and imagine Matoro singing THAT! XDD_

_2) Yup, it's true. Any form of foreign currency has lesser to little, to maybe NO value, in the US or in another country. Things like Yen, Rupees, and such like that are virtually worthless in the US if it wasn't processed through a currency exchange bank DURING a foreigner's move to a different country during conversion. And if a bill or coin was manufactured over two or more years ago, the value, if it has any, drops a very large degree._

3) Also fact. Canadian bacon is like ham. But it is still yummy and can be eaten raw. Yum!  
And yes, I made Nuju, Kopaka, and Matoro's parents divorced in this. Why?...I honestly don't know. It just seemed to fit. And yep! Nuju is CANADIAN! XDD

4) And the pineapple is back. With reinforcements.

5) HAM ON DAH WINDOW IS GOOD LUCK PPL! 8DD  
...I think.

_REVIEW PLZ!_


	11. Too sexy for my PANTS!

**Welcome to the Mata-chatroom.**

Ch. 11

Too sexah for mah PANTS! 8D

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**BurntToast19 has logged onto mobile chat.**

BurntToast19: guys, it's official. Lewa's lost it.

FrostyBite18: You said that last week when he borrowed his mom's red shoes, stood in the middle of the park, and started tapping them together while saying 'there's no place like Disney Land' over and over again.

BurntToast19: Well…yeah. But this time I mean it!

FrostyBite18: What's he doing now?

**DessertRunner18 has logged onto mobile chat.**

DessertRunner18: He's up on his roof and dancing in some freaky tribal garb! XDD

FrostyBite18:…I'm sorry, what?

BurntToast19: It's true! I'm standing in front of his house now! XDD

FrostyBite18: Oh…again, what?

DessertRunner18: I'll ask him! XD

FrostyBite18: O-kay…

BurntToast19: ROFL he says he's doing a rain dance!

DessertRunner18: Epic!

FrostyBite18: as much as I hate repeating myself, I have to ask. WHAT? And WHY?

DessertRunner18: Heck should I know.

**CaveCrawler19 has logged on.**

CaveCrawler19: Maybe because it's so FRICKEN HOT NOW?

BurntToast19: Pft, you always think it's hot outside your man-cave.

FrostyBite18: Well now is an exception. It's over a hundred degrees over in yours, Pohatu's, and Lewa's parts of the city. Not to mention the humidity in Lewa's area.

**AcroJester17 has logged onto mobile chat.**

AcroJester17: why won't the rain come!? T~T

FrostyBite18: Maybe because the rain dance doesn't work? It's an urban legend stupid.

AcroJester17: But Matau told me it works! D8

FrostyBite18: And you believed him?

CaveCrawler19: Sad world this is.

BurntToast19: XDD

DessertRunner18: lol you're hilarious Lewa.

FrostyBite18: Ugh, just get down before you fall off and hurt yourself like you did last year.

Acrojester17: Hey! That raccoon was asking for it and it had a - ASDfghjhgfDSDFghfGHgh

**AcroJester17's signal has been lost.**

FrostyBite18:…

CaveCrawler19:…he fell off his roof didn't he?

DessertRunner18: Yup.

FrostyBite18: Well…Tahu, your turn to call the paramedics. I already did last week.

BurntToast19: Yeah yeah yeah…"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**LightGuy15 has logged onto mobile chat.**

LightGuy15: Dudes! Anyone out there? I'm in some serious chiz here! T~T

FireCracker16: What happened? And where are you? I can't hold your spot at the lunch table forever!

LightGuy15: I don't wanna talk about it! Where's Hahli!?

FireCracker16: She and Macku are at their swimming competition, remember? Now what is going on?

LightGuy15: NOTHING! What about Matoro? PLEASE tell me he's there!

FireCracker16: Yeah, he's here. But why do you need him? What's up with you?

LightGuy15: I don't wanna talk about it!

FireCracker16:…Takua.

LightGuy15: yeah?

FireCracker16: you're stuck in the girl's bathroom again aren't you?

LightGuy15:…..

FireCracker16: your ellipsis answers me XD

LightGuy15: it's not FUNNY!

FireCracker16: Omg Takua! This is like, the fifth time-

LightGuy15: THREE times! This happened three times ONLY! And I was in fifth grade when two of those times happened, and some jerk shoved me in the other!

FireCracker16: Uh-huh, sure. How'd it happen this time?

LightGuy15: I had to go bad and I didn't bother looking which was which okay!?

FireCracker16: ugh, you had that Wham-o-punch again didn't you? You know that stuff goes right through you!

LightGuy15: I can't help it! It's like a rollercoaster for your mouth…

FireCracker16: Geez, you sound like Matoro during his coffee raves…

LightGuy15: Whatever! Just get him on!

FireCracker16: Fine, fine, hang on…

LightGuy15: hurry!

**LittleBird16: has logged onto mobile chat.**

LittleBird16: You're stuck in the girl's bathroom again? Isn't this like, the fifth time?

LightGuy15: THREE TIMES DAMNIT! DXX

LittleBird16: Okay, whatever. Why do I have to help you exactly? Last I checked, I am NOT a girl, thank you.

LightGuy15: I know! But…you know…

LittleBird16: No, I don't.

LightGuy15: You're just…you know…you uh…can do the part.

LittleBird16: -_-' …Takua, you have ten seconds to come up with a better, less gender-insulting excuse than that before I log off.

LightGuy15: PLEASE! Just come to the girl's bathroom in hall D and distract the clique in front of it! I'm begging you man! I will NOT be humiliated like this for a FIFTH time!

LightBird16: you said three times.

LightGuy15: NOT THE POINT! DX

LittleBird16: ugh…fine! But you owe me. Big time.

LightGuy15: Thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU! I'd kiss you if I could!

LittleBird16: Uh-huh, yeah, no thanks. Save it for your grandma.

**LittleBird16 has logged off.**

LightGuy15: Phew…

**FireSpitter23 has logged on.**

FireSpitter23: You're stuck in there AGAIN? Isn't this like, the fifth time?

LightGuy15: At least I didn't get stuck in the girl's LOCKER ROOM in middle school!

FireSpitter23: Pft, yeah, my one to your five.

LightGuy15: THREE TIMES DAMNIT!"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**AwesomeFrost16 has logged onto mobile chat.**

AwesomeFrost16: What the hell is it that girls love so much about you!?

LittleBird16: Yeah, good morning to you too Ehrye…

AwesomeFrost16: Shut up! I saw you! You had half the school's female population swarming you in the lunch room yesterday! WTF!?

LitteBird16: How is that something to be envious of? I lost my damn sandwich in that mob! And why do you care?

AwesomeFrost16: because I DEMAND you tell me just WHY they aren't flocking to me! What happened to girls liking bad boys?

**RainDrop15 has logged onto mobile chat.**

RainDrop15: Ehrye, everyone knows that rule is false. And quit harassing Matoro.

AwesomeFrost16: Geez, gotta have a girl everywhere you go huh? Hot-shot wannabe! DX

LittleBird16: ugh, look, it isn't MY fault the drama teacher ultimately decided that I would make the, and I quote, 'perfect young, sensitive man to play Romeo in our play.' End quote.

AwesomeFrost16: WHAT!? They chose YOU!?

LittleBird16: I'm just as shocked as you are. I'm not even in drama class!

RainDrop15: lol they still begging you to chose them to be your 'Juliet'?

LittleBird16: WHY Ms. Roodaka left it up to ME to choose someone to play Juliet is beyond me. I can barely walk down the hall without being mobbed! How do celebrities do it?

AwesomeFrost16: Well so? Even before this, they STILL saw more in you than me! I'm so much more good looking than you! And more masculine, thank you very much.

LittleBird16: Sexist…

RainDrop15: ugh, Ehrye, girls don't care about masculinity or how bad you are. They like sensitivity and actual sanity. A guy who can express his feelings is supposedly the sexiest kinda guy you can get.

LittleBird16: H-Hahli!

RainDrop15: well it's true. Ask any decent girl in the school.

**DirtDigger16 has logged onto mobile chat.**

DirtDigger16: And besides, Matoro's too pretty to not love. Just look at him! XDD

AwesomeFrost16: This, coming from the Onu-matoran that ran up to and kissed Matoro's cheek at least five times a day in Kindergarten and up to third grade?

RainDrop15: OMFG what?

LittleBird16: Well, Ehrye and I were still friends. At the time. Remember? He was the one who'd get all mad and chase Nuparu off whenever he came near me back then.

DirtDigger16: I thought Nuju did that?

LittleBird16: Only three times when he caught you doing it when he came to pick me up.

RainDrop15: Nuparu kissed you for three years? XD

LittleBird16: He thought I was a girl at the time…

AwesomeFrost16: Tch, he'd probably still kiss you now.

DirtDigger16: I am unashamed to admit that I probably would. XDD

AwesomeFrost16: And that's another thing! You have an Onu-matoran magnet in you or something? WTF!?

LittleBird16: I don't FRICKEN know okay!? Geez! I can't help that I attract weird people who want to get into my pants! Why do you think I stay home on Valentine's day!?

RainDrop15: Last year was…kinda hectic. Oxo'

DirtDigger16: Yeah. Who knew some girls from the volleyball team would jump you in a surprise attack? Took us hours to help get that lipstick off you.

LittleBird16: ugh…

AwesomeFrost16: you man-whore! DX

LittleBird16: You think I can control attracting both the opposite and the same sex!? Because I can't and I don't know why! All I know is that I want my damn sandwich back! I'm STARVING! DX

**FrostyBite18 has logged onto mobile chat.**

FrostyBite18: Hey Matoro, no need to make dinner tonight. Nuju's taking us out to that new Sushi place. Lol

LittleBird16: What? Why? That place's prices are ridiculous!

RainDrop15: Srsly! I heard they charge you like fifty bucks for a small plate of eggrolls.

FrostyBite18: He knows a guy who can get us in cheap, and we're celebrating.

LittleBird16: Celebrating what?

FrostyBite18: Your official dubbing in this year's play as Romeo. XDD

LittleBird16: Who the hell is telling you people all this? I only just got told a day ago!

FrostyBite18: Trust me, if it has anything to do with you, Nuju WILL find out. God knows how, but hey, whatever, I want their Spicy Tuna Rolls. They can supposedly make your tongue numb for a week, and I will NOT have my spicy-food experience ruined!

AwesomeFrost16: You people are so f***ed up…

FrostyBite18: Shut up and go back to stalking some poor girls who will never know of your existence.

AwesomeFrost16: jerk!

FrostyBite18: Delinquent.

LittleBird16: ugh, I'm out. I need an aspirin and food…

**LittleBird16 has logged off to find a headache reliever and a snack.**

RainDrop15:…so…you srsly played 'kiss me, kill me' with Matoro in Kindergarten?

DirtDigger16: Guilty! XDD

FrostyBite18: and he still does it to him at least once every new years.

RainDrop15: That's so cute! LOL

AwesomeFrost16: Freaks. You're all FREAKS!"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**Mata-chat Tweet update.**

**By LittleBird16.**

Eating: cookie.

Drinking: coffee (duh)

Doing: this.

~ That's it! I can't take it anymore! I'm DOING it!

**Comments~**

RainDrop15: What?! ? NO! Don't do it!

DirtDigger16: NO! Matoro! Nonono! Don't do it!

RockyKick16: Think of what you're doing man! Think of the people you'll leave behind!

LittleBird16: My point exactly! I'm doing it! No stopping me!

FrostyBite18: Matoro, don't! Put. The scissors. DOWN…

LittleBird16: No.

BigBird24: Matoro NO! W-we can talk about this! J-just don't do anything! I'll come home more often! Just don't do it! PLEASE!

LittleBird16: Goodbye.

BigBird24: **NO!**

**Status update.**

**~LittleBird16**

**Appearance:** Now has short hair.

DirtDigger16: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

RockyKick16: We've lost him!

RainDrop15: *bawls*

BigBird24: Where did I go wrong!? *cries*

LittleBird16: Jesus H. Christ you guys, I only took off a few inches. Take a pill…"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"BigBird24: Matau, you have officially scarred us all for life.

FireSpitter23: Srsly dude, PLEASE! Change into something else!

GroundPounder25: Or at least put a towel on!

AirMonkey22: No! You're all just jealous of my beach-godliness X3

BigBird24: No, what we're feeling now is REVOLTED that we get to have a clear front row view of your ass!

RockSmasher23: Seriously man! For the _last time!_ You CANNOT pull off a damn speedo!

FireSpitter23: Nokama is never gonna come back…

AirMonkey22: Oh please, she was just so impressed with my awesomeness she was overwhelmed.

GroundPounder25: Matau…people are staring.

AirMonkey22: Yep, I make people stop and stare *flexes*

BigBird24: Gross…

FireSpitter23: Matau, cut it out and change into something else!

RockSmasher23: At least put a shirt on man!

AirMonkey22: NEVAH!

GroundPounder25: Why?

AirMonkey22: Cause I'm too sexah for mah shirt~ Too sexah for mah shirt! Too sexah, it hurts~ *dances*

BigBird24:…

RockSmasher23:…hey Matau?

AirMonkey22: yeah?

RockSmasher23: Pft…dude…is that a birthmark? XD

Airmonkey22: DON'T LOOK AT IT! DX"

To be continued…


	12. There's Evil in my Chatroom!

**Welcome to the Mata-chatroom.****  
**Ch. 12  
There's EVIL in mah chatroom! EVVVIIILLLL!

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X  
**  
**"Mata-chat tweet update.  
By AirMoneky22**.

~Onewa and I had a pizza eating contest. I won. He threw up. Then I threw up! 8D

**46 people like this.**"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"MiniTwister15 has logged on.**

MiniTwister15: I GOTS MAH FIRST CHEST HAIR! 8DD

DirtDigger16: Um…hooray?

FireCracker16: Ew…

RockyKick16: XDD

**AcroJester17 has logged on.**

AcroJester17: Dude, bro, what happened to all the sharpie markers and what the crap is on your chest? XDD

DirtDigger16:…

FireCracker16:…

RockyKick16:…

MiniTwister15:…uh…

DirtDigger16: Dude, you're _faking_ puberty? PHAIL.

FireCracker16: ROFL

RockyKick16: LOL

MiniTwister15: STOP LAUGHING AT MY INADIQUICY! DX"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"RainDrop16 has logged on.**

RainDrop15: Matoro, I HATE YOU!

LittleBird16: O~O' What did I do!?

RainDrop15: You and your damn skinny-butt that's what! URGH!

**RainDrop15 has logged off.**

LittleBird16: O-o' …skinny-butt?

**Sk8erGurl16 has logged on.**

Sk8erGurl16: Erm, uh, I am SO sorry she said that!

LittleBird16: I'm so confused! D8

Sk8erGurl16: ugh, don't be. She's just uh…having a moment.

LittleBird16: A moment where she suddenly hates me? And why did she call me that?

Sk8erGurl16: Because she got on the scale this morning…and its shark week for her…

LittleBird16:…shark week?

Sk8erGurl16: Yeah…SHARK WEEK…

LittleBird16: oh…OH! Oxo'

Sk8erGurl16: Yeah…

LittleBird16: Uh-huh…

Sk8erGurl16: Yup…

LittleBird16:…so…I should probably like…go now…

Sk8erGurl16: yeah…one last thing Matoro?

LittleBird16: Yeah?

Sk8erGurl16: How do you do it?

LittleBird16: Um…what exactly?

Sk8erGurl16: Eat like a starved lion and still manage to fit into a size 2 skinny jeans!?

LittleBird16: -_-' yeah goodbye.

**LittleBird16 has logged off."**

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"BigBird24: How, in the name of Mata-nui, do you manage to swallow a _plastic toy from a kid's meal?_

Airmonkey22: I was hungry okay!?

RockSmasher23: Why a kids meal?

AirMonkey22: hey, not all of us are employed currently. DX

AquaGal22: Ugh, Matau, you got fired AGAIN?

AirMonkey22: How was I supposed to know the receptionist was the boss' daughter!?

BigBird24: they have the same last name, genius.

FireSpitter23: Where are you anyways?

AirMonkey22: hospital…

RockSmasher23: it's that serious?

AirMonkey22: Well no…see originally, I was waiting for it to…you know…_pass_…

BigBird24: ugh, gross…

FireSpitter23: Erm, how did that go?

AirMonkey22: Well, it's been three days…and I haven't been able to go number two ever since I swallowed the toy car so…doc thinks its…you know…blocking traffic if you know what I mean.

AquaGal22: Matau, GROSS!

FireSpitter23: ugh…

RockSmasher23: ROFL so…?

AirMonkey22: So mom took me to the hospital, and doc says I'm gonna need something called a Call on a scopy?

BigBird24: Erm…Matau, I think you mean a Colonoscopy.

RockSmasher23: Oh dude…

FireSpitter23: *pukes*

AquaGal22: Oxo'

AirMonkey22: What? Don't they just, like, cut me open and go in there and take it out?

BigBird24: Uh…no. They…don't cut you open. But they do remove what they can…

AirMonkey24: But how does that work if I'm not cut open?

RockSmasher23: Oh mai GAWD! *runs to bucket to hurl*

FireSpitter23: *faints*

AquaGal22: *facepalm*

BigBird24: I am NOT going into details about this! Don't you ever pay attention in health!? Look it up you lazy bum!

RockSmasher23: he said bum….*pukes again*

AirMonkey22: What are you talking about!? Is it bad!?

RockSmasher23: Dude, if you like, don't make it out because you either refuse it or die of embarrassment, can I have your bike?

AirMonkey22: Wha…?

**AcroJester17 has logged onto mobile chat.**

Acrojester17: Bro, mom says it's your turn for the doc to see you…

AirMonkey22: okay but uh…Lewa, are you crying?

Acrojester17: I'm so sorry big bro! I'll always remember you and your awesome atomic pranks! WAH! *bawls*

AirMonkey22: Will someone please tell me WTF is happening here? I DON'T WANNA DIE! D8"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"DessertRunner18 has logged onto mobile chat.**

DessertRunner18: Guys, I think Lewa is having a seizure or something.

FrostyBite18: What? What's he doing?

DessertRunner18: I'm…honestly not sure. Something with his arm and his tongue.

BurntToast19: lolwut?

DessertRunner18: lol hang on, I'll send a pic.

**DessertRunner18 is busy.  
DessertRunner18 has sent picture mail~**

FrostyBite18:…WTF?

BurntToast19: What he said. O.o'

DessertRunner18: Should I call the hospital…?

FrostyBite18: ask him what he's doing first. Knowing him, it's probably something stupid and not a seizure.

DessertRunner18: okie-dokie.

**Acrojester17 has logged onto mobile chat.**

Acrojester17: I'm trying to lick my elbow!

FrostyBite18:…

BurntToast19:…why?

Acrojester17: Cause Matau told me it was impossible when it's clearly possible!

FrostyBite18: pft, yeah, clearly…

BurntToast19: Dude pohatu! Send me a vid! XDD

DessertRunner18: way ahead of ya! XD

**DessertRunner18 is casting live video.**

FrostyBite18:….Lewa.

Acrojester17: Yeah?

FrostyBite18: it's NOT possible!

Acrojester17: BLASPHEMY! DX"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"Mata-chat tweet update.  
By DirtDigger16**.

~ I just glomped Matoro from on top of big bro's car and now he looks pissed lol

**58 people like this.  
1 dislikes this."**

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**LittleBird16 has logged on.**

LittleBird16: Kurahk, that was uncalled for…

WhiteRage18: You know it was funny. Don't you dare deny it!

Littlebird16: Well yeah, but did you HAVE to pants Ehrye in front of the whole hockey team? I mean, come on.

WhiteRage18: I could have given him a wedgie.

LittleBird16: Eh…good point.

**MiniTwister15 has logged on.**

Minitwister15: Sup Matoro!

LittleBird16: Hey Kongu.

WhiteRage18:…who's this?

MiniTwister15:…who's you?

LittleBird16: lol calm down you two. Kongu, 'WhiteRage18' is Kurahk, Kurahk, 'MiniTwister15' is a friend of mine, Kongu.

MiniTwister15:…did you…say Kurahk?

LittleBird16: Yeah. Why, you know each other?

WhiteRage18: Better question. Have I ever terrorized and/or harassed you before, or do you by chance owe me money? XDD

LittleBird16: Geez, aren't you seeing someone about your 'issues'?

WhiteRage18: I _was_ X3

LittleBird16: Ugh…

MiniTwister15: O~O' Matoro…do you have ANY idea who this is?

LittleBird16: Erm, a guy I pretty much slammed into on my way back from work?

WhiteRage18: I told you, it didn't hurt.

LittleBird16: Still.

MiniTwister15: you…ran into him? Like, ran into-ran into him?

LittleBird16: Yeah. Then I got him coffee afterwards as an apology. lol

MiniTwister15:…how are you still ALIVE!?

LittleBird16: Erm…why shouldn't I be?

MiniTwister15: Because Kurahk's EVIL! D8

WhiteRage18: Aw, that's just hurtful.

LittleBird16: Kongu! That's rude!

WhiteRage18: I might just get to do that wedgie after all. You live on Breeze Lane don't you?

LittleBird16: Kurahk…

MiniTwister15: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MOM! There's evil in my chatroom! EVVIIIIILLLL! D8"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"Mata-chat tweet update.  
By FrostyBite18.**

~ Apparently it IS, in fact, possible to lick your elbow. See my Mata-tube account for evidence. Not for the squeamish…

**126 people like this.  
1 person LOVES this.  
2 people find this gross."**

To be continued…

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

_1)- 8DDD_

2)- Warning; faking puberty WILL get you humiliated for an extended period of time. It will follow you for the rest of your life.

3)- Shark week. You won't understand this joke unless you have watched 'America's got Talent'.  
See link to get it XDD

_ w w w . youtube watch ? v = PU _ 0XI m KoZ s_

4)-...I refuse to go into details people. Three words. LOOK IT UP.

5)- Licking your elbow; I HIGHLY doubt its possible. But...you never know.

6)- Kurahk and his bro's = Juvie bad-boys who never go to their classes. They harass the lower and upper high school kids. Somehow Matoro and Kurahk became friends in some kinda fiasco. Don't ask. I think it's cute. I SAID DON'T ASK...

7)- Like I said, who knows? O.o'


	13. Lassie Lassie come home

**Welcome to the Mata-chatroom.  
**Ch. 13  
Lassie, Lassie come home!

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"Mata-chat tweet update.  
By WhiteRage18.**

~Went to (yet another) therapy session today. That makes 86 therapists this year. Anger management sucks.

**75 people like this."**

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"GreenVenom18 has logged on.**

GreenVenom18: Panrahk, I mean it! If you strap Mimi to that rocket, I swear to god, I'm going to take your damn fireworks collection, and set them all off under your bed!

BronzeDust18: Oh come on! You have like, eighteen other poison dart frogs, and you said I could blow one up!

GreenVenom18: I said no such thing you asshole! Give him back!

BronzeDust18: Listen you, I-…him?

GreenVenom18: Yes. HIM!

BronzeDust18: but…isn't Mimi a girl's name?

GreenVenom18:…

BronzeDust18:…you are so-

GreenVenom18: I wanted a girl okay!?"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"Mata-chat tweet update.  
By CrimsonFear19.**

~ Just scared the sh** out of a couple of girl scouts today. Now I got ten boxes of free cookies. Hey Guurahk! I got Thin Mints! XDD

**35 people like this.  
3 people dislike this."**

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"MiniTwister15: Dude, I bet you can't name these dogs! XD

LittleBird16: lol try me.

MiniTwister15: A Chihua-bass-hound!

LittleBird16: Chihuahua, Basset hound, Bloodhound.

MiniTwister15: Well played, well played. Okay, Frenchbull-Golden-Irish-Boss terrier!

LittleBird16: French bulldog, golden retriever, Irish hound, Boston terrier.

MiniTwister15:…okay. Bet you can't beat THIS! Dober-great-setter-Pem-Jack-Coll!

LittleBird16: Doberman, Great Dane, Irish Setter, Pembroke Welsh, Jack Russel, Collie.

MiniTwister15: O.o' Uh….alright, no more mister nice guy!

LittleBird16: bring it. XD

MiniTwister15: Cavakingcharl-dach-malt-newfoula-pins-pembwelcorg- poo-lass! HAH!

LittleBird16: Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Dachshund, Maltese, Newfoundland, Miniature Pinscher, Pembroke Welsh Corgi, Poodle, _Lassie!_ HAH you just got PWND boi!

MiniTwister15:….what are you!?

LittleBird16: The future's greatest vet slash animal expert in all the world that's what! XDDD"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"Mata-chat journal update.  
By WhiteRage18.**

~ Once again got ANOTHER therapy session. This one was an old geezer. He talked real slowly. He asked me about my problems. I told him to piss off. He started writing crap down. I got bored. Then I got pissed. Then I got chased out via security. Then I got a taco.

The moral of this story. Taco Bell makes a mean taco.

**162 people like this."**

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"BlueDestruction17: Damnit Vorahk, I swear if you flush the toilet while I'm in the shower one more time I'll-!

BlackLeech19: You'll WHAT?

BlueDestruction17: I might just take one of Lerahk's special snakes and shove it in your pants then push a pillow over your face until you stop kicking.

BlackLeech19:…that's some dark stuff man. You been getting into Kurahk's emo crap?

BlueDestruction17: STFU and go reset the hot water tank you ape!

BlackLeech19: not my fault the building's got a sh***y pipe system…

BlueDestruction17: NOW. Before my ass freezes over…"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"LightGuy15: GAH! Jaller I had that dream again! D8

FireCracker16: That one where you get your foot stuck in that horse?

LightGuy15: NEVER…speak of it. But no! That one where that guy with the spikes and nose piercing steals my pie!

FireCracker16:…Takua, that wasn't a dream. That happened during lunch yesterday. Remember?

LightGuy15:…oh yeah. Damn Turahk…"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"Mata-chat tweet update.  
By Panrahk.**

~Flag pole wedgies. They are AWESOME.

**165 people like this.  
1 person HATES this."**

To be continued…


	14. The Bird is the Word

**Welcome to the Mata-chatroom.**  
Ch. 14  
A-well-a bird is dah wurd! 8D

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"Mata-chat tweet update.  
By FrostyBite18.******

Status: Is now motor-mobile. Bye-bye walking, hello Arctic Harley motorcycle.

**Comments~**

BurntToast19: YOU SON OF A BITCH I HATE YOU! DX

FrostyBite18: lol not my fault you're stuck with your dad's old pick up.

Burnttoast19: How were you even able to afford this!? You work like, eight different jobs a week! Too short to get a paycheck!

ForstyBite18: it's rude to ask about my financial funds. And at least I can GET a job.

BurntToast19: F*** you! DXX"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"Mata-chat journal update.  
By RockyKick16.**

Eating: nothing.  
Drinking: nothing.  
Doing: PANICKING!  
Watching: nothing.

Current mood: PANIC! D8

~ It's. BACK…  
It's staring at me. Outside the window. Of my chemistry class. It's _mocking_ me…  
It's. F***ing. _Mocking_. Me.  
Why the hell does it have a spork!?

…I'm so scared…!"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"MiniTwister15: Dude! Please! I'm BEGGING you!

RockyKick16: No. lol

MiniTwister15: PLEASE?

RockyKick16: Hmm…no. XD

MiniTwister15: Man I'll do ANYTHING!

RockyKick16: Anything…?

MiniTwister15: ANYTHING! DX

RockyKick16: Hmm…okay, fine.

MiniTwister15: YUSH! What do I do?

RockyKick16: Okay…you…have to go outside, run all the way to the college and back…

MiniTwister15: Pft, that's it?

RockyKick16: Hold on, not finished. You have to do all this, while screaming, 'they're after me lucky charms!'…

MiniTwister15: lol and?

RockyKick16: Naked.

MiniTwiser15:…how naked?

RockyKick16: Buck and bones.

MiniTwister15:…4 cereal?

RockyKick16: 4 cereal. Oh, and you have to let me record the whole thing. XDD

MiniTwister15:…

RockyKick16: So?

MiniTwister15:…

RockyKick16: I knew it. You're not gonna-

MiniTwister15: SWEET!

**MiniTwister15 is now offline.**

RockyKick16: OxO' Wait a minute-! Kongu! I was KIDDING! Kongu! WAIT!

…

RockyKick16:…aw sh**…

**FireCracker16 has logged onto mobile chat.**

FireCracker16: Hewkii…

RockyKick16: Yeah…?

FireCracker16: you wouldn't by chance have anything to do with me seeing Kongu bolt past me screaming 'they're after me lucky charms' while in nothing but his birthday suit, would you?

RockyKick16:…maybe…

**LittleBird16 has logged onto mobile chat.**

LittleBird16: Anyone want to tell me just why Kongu has suddenly decided to become a nudist? In front of the pet shop of all places? I got kids in here you know! DX

FireCracker16: *points at Hewkii*

LittleBird16: …why am I not surprised?

**AirMonkey22 has logged onto mobile chat.**

AirMonkey22: omg it's my childhood all over again XDD

RockyKick16: lol What?

AirMonkey22: lol ever since Kongu was a tot, he's hated wearing clothes. Kid was a nudist ever since he was born up until mom discovered bribery. LOL

FireCracker16: oi vey…

LittleBird16: you must be SO proud…

Airmonkey22: You have no idea! *wipes away proud tear, sniffles*

**BigBird24 has logged onto mobile chat.**

BigBird24: Matau…

AirMoneky22: yeah?

Bigbird24: College security has arrested Kongu.

RockyKick16: For being nude?

BigBird24: That, and tackling the college headmaster. Fyi, she's Irish.

LittleBird16: Yeesh…again, WHY was he doing that exactly? I haven't seen him do anything THIS stupid since that incident at summer camp with the beaver.

RockyKick16:…*whistles innocently*

FireCracker16: *facepalm* Would this have anything to do with you getting that new Pokémon game and Kongu wanting to borrow it?

RockyKick16: Maaaaaaybe?

AirMoneky22: Mean. XD

BigBird24: Why do I let you hang around these people?

LittleBird16: I ask myself the same thing almost every day. But my excuse is they make life interesting. TwT

**MiniTwister15 has logged onto mobile chat.**

MiniTwister15: THEY'RE AFTER ME LUCKY CHARMS! 8DD

RockyKick16:…dude…where were you keeping your phone? OxO"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"AcroJester17 has logged on.**

AcroJester17: Hey Tahu?

BurntToast19: Yeah, wuts up?

AcroJester17: Did you see the news today?

BurntToast19: Pft, who watches the news anymore? XD

AcroJester17: Well did you at least hear?

BurntToast19: Hear what?

AcroJester17: About the bird?

BurntToast19: Bird?

AcroJester17: hm, weird. I figured everyone had heard the word about the bird.

BurntToast19: Bird?

**FrostyBite18 has logged on.**

FrostyBite18: no Tahu NO!

AcroJester17: A well a bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word! A well a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word! A well a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word~!

FrostyBite18: Crap…!

AcroJester17: A well a everybody's heard about the bird! Bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word! A well a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word! A well a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word! A well a bird, bird, b-bird's the word!

BurntToast19: oh my f***ing gawd…

AcroJester17: Surfin' bird~~~! B-b-b aah, aah! Pa pa pa pa, pa pa pa pa, pa pa pa pa, pa pa pa pa! Pa pa pa pa, pa pa pa pa, pa pa pa pa! Papa, ooma mow mow!

FrostyBite18:…

BurntToast19:…

AcroJester17:…Well a don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word! A well a bird, bird, b-bird's the word!

BurntToast19…

Acrojester17: A well a don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word!

FrostyBite18:…*puts pistol in mouth*

BurntToast19: Take me with you…

AcroJester17: THE BIRD IS THE WORD! 8DD"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"Mata-chat tweet update.  
By DessertRunner18.**

Mood: frustrated.  
Doing: trying to break free!

~So…got my hands onn some chinnese finger cuffs today…noow typping with myy thumbs and pinkky…and i cann't get out of the cuffs! T~T  
HELP!"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"DessertRunner18 has logged onto mobile chat.**

DessertRunner18: Hey Kopaka, where do you keep your ice pops?

FrostyBite18: Very back of the ice box, under the frozen p-…wait…why do you want to know?

DessertRunner18: Cause I'm looking and looking and there isn't an ice pop in sight man! Just frozen peas, meat, an ice chest…and I think I found somebody's shoe…you a size eleven?

FrostyBite18: Pohatu! You're in my HOUSE!?

DessertRunner18: No…maybe…yes.

FrostyBite18: Why!? And how did you even get in!? Nobody's home and the doors locked!

DessertRunner18: pft, come on, you don't need a DOOR to get into a house for an ice pop. I mean, come on.

FrostyBite18: WHY?

DessertRunner18: Well cause if a window's open or something, then you can just-

FrostyBite18: No I mean WHY are you in my HOUSE!?

DessertRunner18: Oh, that. Well today's Sunday, and we all know I go running on Sundays. I was jogging by your house and realized I was getting a bit warm and thirsty. My trusty water bottle was empty, and I felt like having an ice pop. And everyone knows you have a stash of ice pops in the freezer. And since you were at work, I decided to let myself in.

FrostyBite18:…

DessertRunner18: Hey, you have any ham? A sandwich sounds good about now and I-

FrostyBite18: GET OUT OF MY F***ING HOUSE YOU MOOCHING ASS-HOLE!

DessertRunner18: geez, I only asked if you had ham.

FrostyBite18: NOW…

DessertRunner18: Fine. I'll go to the crappy deli down the street. Geez…"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"WhiteRage18: WHO THE F*** ATE MY LAST PIECE OF PIZZA!?

GreenVenom18: Geez Kurahk, a rage-attack over a pepperoni slice? You're a card. XDD

WhiteRage18: STFU and tell me who f***ing ate it! I put a f***ing note on the box saying 'do not f***ing touch' for f***'s sake!

GreenVenom18: turn off your F-bombs. And I dunno. Though there were pizza crumbs on the couch where Vorahk was napping a while ago.

WhiteRage18: That sonavubitch. Like his fat-ass needs anymore grease. I'm gonna kick his ass!

**WhiteRage18 has logged off to murder Vorahk.**  
**CrimsonFear19 has logged on.**

CrimsonFear19: Dude, I though you told me YOU ate the last pizza.

GreenVenom18: Pft, yeah, you actually expect me to tell him that? At least Vorahk stands a chance against Kurahk during one of his hissy-fits.

CrimsonFear19: Yeah, you kinda do need to work out more…

GreenVenom18: STFU…"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X  
**  
**"Mata-chat tweet update.  
By Littlebird16.**

Mood: Confused.  
Doing: This.

~ So, got home from work. Was about to go inside, but stopped when I saw Pohatu jump out the kitchen window with a sandwich and an ice pop in his mouth. He looks at me and waves with a smile before jogging off.  
By this point…nothing surprises me anymore. T-T" 

To be continued…

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

_1)- I honestly have NO IDEA if there is such a thing as a snow terrain motorcycle. Too lazy to look it up. But if there is, please tell me! XDD_

2)- The pineapple is back. GET IN THE CAR!

3)- ...I'm honestly unsure as to where this one came from. It came to me at one point, then it was gone. (Very small reference to nudist Kongu in my 'Pacifier' fic. Check it out!)

4)- Again...I blame family guy and terrible 50's music crazes.

5)- Chinese finger cuffs. The ultimate test of escape. Not even Hoodeenee could escape this!

6)- God don't you just love those friends that just seem to find it right to barge right into your home like it's their own? XDD

7)- NEVER. Eat Kurahk's pizza…and he loves F-bombs. Srsly. XD

8)- Too much exposure to random weirdness can result in emotional numbness to future random weirdness.

_REVIEW PLEASE!_


	15. In your Pants

**Welcome to the Mata-chatroom.****  
**Ch. 15  
In your pants.

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"AirMonkey22 has logged on.**

AirMonkey22: OKAY! Who here forgot to tell me that gasoline is VERY flammable? Cause, it's REALLY flammable!

BigBird24:…REALLY?

AirMonkey22: Ya rly! Who would have known man? I mean, I think I just made the discovery of the century here man!

BigBird24:…Matau…

AirMonkey22: Yeah?

BigBird24: when was the last time you had a C.A.T. scan?

AirMoneky22: Pft, like, last week. I get one every other month.

BigBird24:…you don't say…"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**LittleBird16 has logged on.**

LittleBird16: Hey Nuparu?

DirtDigger16: Yo!

Littlebird16: Hey, listen, I don't think we can hang out this weekend…

DirtDigger16:…what? Why?

LittleBird16: Cause well, you see-

DirtDigger16: OMG a-are you breaking up with me!? T~T

LittleBird16:…breaking-? What-? Why would I-? We're not even together!

DirtDigger16: Oh mai gawd you're breaking up with me! WAAAH!

LittleBird16: Nuparu!? WTF?!

DirtDigger16: WAAAAHAHAHAHA! TT~TT

LittleBird16: Nuparu! Damn it just-! Ugh! I'm NOT breaking up with you! Geez!

DirtDigger16:…you're not?

LittleBird16: no! I was just going to say that we're going to be visiting my parents this weekend, and there's no way out of it.

DirtDigger16: Oooooh.

LittleBird16: yeah, oooooh. Geez…

DirtDigger16: So…

LittleBird16: What?

DirtDigger16: So we're NOT breaking up?

LittleBird16: Damn it Nuparu we're not-! How could I-!? Just-!

DirtDigger16: *puppy eyes*

LittleBird16:…

DirtDigger16:…

LittleBird16:…yeah, sure. We're not breaking up.

DirtDigger16: Yay~! *glomps*

Littlebird16: Ugh, sigh…"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"Mata-chat tweet update.  
By BurntToast19.**  
  
Eating: Nothing.  
Drinking: coke.  
Doing: this.  
Watching: TV.

Current mood: Smug

~ My god, NEVER looking at Kopaka the same way ever again. Dude sure can pull off some serious sh** with a bottle of soda, a skateboard, and a bag of burritos. ROFL

**Comments**

FrostyBite18: Hey, I'm not the one who made his own PANTS EXPLODE with nothing but a celery stick, a muffin, and a can of whip cream, you jackass.

**356 people like this comment."**

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"RockyKick16: Dude, Matoro, you know those cookies that were placed out at the pet shop?

LittleBird16: The free samples I brought? Yeah, why?

RockyKick16: Dude. Best. Cookies. Ever! Where'd you get them?

LittleBird16: made them. Lol

RockyKick16: Dude, make more! Those things were awesome!

LittleBird16: lol okay. I didn't know you had a dog.

RockyKick16:…dog?

LittleBird16: yeah…that's what we're talking about, right?

RockyKick16: Erm, no. We're talking about me.

LittleBird16:…you uh…ate a sample?

RockyKick16: Pft, yeah. Any sign that says 'free' and 'sample' and presents food, I take. So sorry that I cleaned you out that day. They were good. Lol

LittleBird16: You…ate the whole plate?

RockyKick16: yeah, sorry.

LittleBird16: Um…Hewkii, those weren't cookies for you or anyone.

RockyKick16: eh? Sure they were. You put the free sample sign up.

LittleBird16: Yeah, I know. But as far as I know, unless you have a tail, walk on four legs, and eat kibble, they're not for you. I work in a PET SHOP, not a bakery…

RockyKick16:…what are you getting at…?

**FireCracker16 has logged on.**

FireCracker16: Dude you f***ing ate a whole plate of DOG BISCUITS! OMFG ROFL XDD

RockyKick16:…WHAT!? OH MY F***ING GAWD! No wonder I tasted bacon!

LittleBird16: Erm, well, look at the bright side. At least now your coat will be super shiny and smooth. Pft…!"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"AirMonkey22 has logged on.**

AirMonkey22: Hah! Caught you all!

Bigbird24: Damnit…

RockSmasher23: Ugh, alright! Whatever. We'll listen to your damn report.

AirMonkey22: I told you, it's NOT a report! It's an original movie script by yours truly~

BigBird24: I thought Truly got arrested ten years ago…

AirMonkey22: Ha-ha-ha, jackass. Now listen!

BigBird24: Alright, fine, what's your damn script thing about?

RockSmasher23: Oh lemme guess! It either involves zombies, hamsters, robots, ninjas, monsters, or a combination of the five? XD

AirMonkey22: No! It's much more sophisticated, thank you.

BigBird24: Oh, he said 'sophisticated', this ought to be good lol

RockSmasher23: Let's hear it.

AirMonkey22: Okay! So to clarify, this is a movie script, not a report.

RockSmasher23: Ugh, yes, we know, get on with it already! I wanna eat!

AirMonkey22: fine, fine. Okay, so it's a horror movie about two guys waking up chained and trapped in some underground bathroom place with a dead body, a gun, and an old saw by some psycho maniac old man with a value-of-life complex. One of the guy's family is being held hostage, and the only way to free them is to kill the other guy! But once that fails, he goes berserk and saws his own leg off to escape the chains and get help! And that's how far I got right now.

BigBird24:…

RockSmasher23:…

AirMonkey22: So, what do ya two think? Great stuff huh?

BigBird24:…

RockSmasher23:…

AirMonkey22: Well?

RockSmasher23:…ah-hah…ahahah-AHAHAHAHAHAHAH HOHOHO MY GAWD LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!

BigBird24: PFT! Are you serious Matau? You just…THOUGHT of this without help? PFT…!

AirMonkey22: What?! What's so funny!? And yes I thought of this! It's all MY idea here!

RockSmasher23: OHMYGAWD AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH ROFLAWLOL

BigBird24: Matau, you just described the first SAW movie to a T! HAHAHAHA!

Airmonkey22: What!? No way!

RockSmasher23: It's already had seven sequels! SEVEN F***ING SEQUELS you jerk! AAAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

AirMonkey22: W-wait a minute! I-In one of the parts, the bad guy takes on an apprentice that was once one of his victims!

BigBird24: That was one of the sequels! XDD

AirMonkey22: What!? O-okay, what about this? She dies in one of the parts!

BigBird24: GAHAHAHAH! Oh my GAWD you are hysterical…!

**BigBird24 has logged off in hysterical laughter.**

AirMonkey22: Why you-! In my script, I imagine the bad guy would be best played by John Krammer!

RockSmasher23: KAHAHAHAH! I'm gonna pee my pants…!

**RockSmasher23 has logged off to piss himself in hysterics.**

AirMonkey22:…aw f*** creativity! DX"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"AcroJester17 has logged on.**

AcroJester17: Hey Onua, I got it!...In your pants. 8D

CaveCrawler19: OxO' in my WHAT now?

AcroJester17: XDD nothing man, I'm kidding. That's my catch phrase for the day!

CaveCrawler19:…you have a daily catch phrase?

AcroJester17: I do now! Lol

CaveCrawler19:…o-kay. So what do you got now?

AcroJester17: That new movie you wanted to see!...in your pants. 8D

**FrostyBite18 has logged on.**

AcroJester17: Hey Kopaka! Wanna watch this movie with me and Onua?...in your pants. 8D

FrostyBite18: WHAT!?

CaveCrawler19: That's his catch phrase for the day…

FrostyBite18:…he has a daily catch phrase?

CaveCrawler19: Apparently.

**BurntToast19 has logged on.**

BurntToast19: Hey have any of you seen my notebook? I think I left it at school.

AcroJester17: I think I saw it in fifth period…in your pants. 8D

BurntToast19: WTF DID YOU JUST-?

CaveCrawler19: It's his daily catch phrase.

BurntToast19:…he has a daily-

FrostyBite18: -yes-  
CaveCrawler19: -yes-

BurntToast19: Oh…"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"RockyKick16 has received chat-request from FruityDeliciousMurder00.**

RockyKick16: ?

**RockyKick16 has accepted request.**

RockyKick16: Erm, hello? Who is this?

FruityDeliciousMurder00:…

RockyKick16: Uh…do I know you…?

**FruityDeliciousMurder00 has sent Hewkii a picture.  
RockyKick16 has accepted picture.  
RockyKick16 opened picture file.**

RockyKick16: What the…? What is-?...oh my god…oh my GOD. OH MY GAWD. IT'S YOU!

**FruityDeliciousMurder00 has added RockyKick16 to friend list.**

RockyKick16: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

To be continued…

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

_1)- Who would have known man!? 8O  
2)- It's okay everyone! Everything is OKAY! They're NOT breaking up!  
3)- ...hey, it could happen. XD  
4)- PFT! I have NO doubt that this has happened in real life somewhere. NO DOUBT.  
5)- So it seems I used none of your suggestions, and I do apologize, but...yeah, this came to me not even an hour ago. XDD  
6)- ...in your pants! 8DD  
7)- lol guess who~ X3_


	16. Peanut Butter Jelly Time

**Welcome to the Mata-chatroom.****  
**Ch. 16  
Peanut butter jelly time!

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X  
**  
**"DirtDigger16 has logged onto mobile chat.**

DirtDigger16: Hey you know what's weird?

LittleBird16: That I didn't even invite you over and yet you're sitting on my bed and texting me from across my room? Or the fact that you got into my room via my SECOND-STORY window instead of the door?

DirtDigger16: No! And come on, you love me! XD

LittleBird16: *EYE ROLL* Ugh, whatever. What is it that you think is weird?

DirtDigger16: That even though you're a rahi fanatic, you don't even have a pet! I mean, haven't you like, asked for a cat or dog for your birthday and Xmas ever since you were four?

LittleBird16: Oh...well yes, but I can't get a cat or dog, or any pet really.

DirtDigger16: Why not a cat?

LittleBird16: Cat's hate Kopaka, Kopaka hates cats, and he's allergic.

DirtDigger16: A dog?

LittleBird16: Dogs hate Nuju, Nuju hates dogs, and he's allergic.

DirtDigger16:...hamster? Bird?

LittleBird16: Kopaka hates all the birds Nuju's owned and somehow manages to kill them by accident. And the hamsters that I owned always 'ran away'.

DirtDigger16: Ran away...?

LittleBird16: I'd go to summer camp, leaving Kopaka in charge of feeding my hamster. He always forgot to feed the hamster. This is the main reason why I never went back to summer camp.

DirtDigger16:…oh...

LittleBird16: And I work all the time so I doubt I'd have time for a pet. I'm still in school too.

DirtDigger16: Oh…well at least you got me! 8D

LittleBird16:…yeah, I got you. I have to feed you when you show up for dinner unannounced, I have to give you a bed when you decide it would be great to sleep over without really consulting me, and your doggy door is apparently my bedroom window. Would you like a hot towel Fido?

DirtDigger16: Why yes please, and bring me my slippers and a cocktail as well!

LittleBird16: Would you like a foot rub with that sir?

DirtDigger16: Yush! And a sandwich!

LittleBird16:…great, now I'm hungry.

DirtDigger16: I know right? Hey! You wanna make me a sandwich? 8D

LittleBird16: Get it yourself you mooch.

**LittleBird16 has logged off to make a sandwich.**

DirtDigger16:…put mustard on mine please! XD"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X  
**  
**"BigBird24 has logged on.**

BigBird24: Matau, you are an idiot.

AirMonkey22: Yeah, tell me something I don't know! And I said I was sorry!

RockSmasher23: Man, we are NEVER leaving you in charge of the birthday cake EVER again.

AirMoneky22: I said I was sorry okay!? The order got mixed up! And it wasn't so bad. It tasted pretty damn good.

BigBird24: That's not the point you idiot!

AirMonkey22: Oh come on, it wasn't that bad!

GroundPounder25: Matau, you picked up a cake that read 'sorry about your STDs' and not 'happy birthday Vakama'!

AirMonkey22:...okay, I'll admit, that was a little bit awkward when I opened the box.

RockSmasher23: You seriously screwed up man. I didn't think that guy could be any more embarrassed than that time you got him into that llama pen and-

AirMonkey22: DON'T TALK ABOUT IT! And don't blame me! Blame the bakery dude for screwing up the order!

RockSmasher23: Well whatever! I can't believe you didn't even bother to check if it was right before bolting out the door to check out some cashier chic!

AirMonkey22: Hey! She was HOT man! She had a fricken belly button ring!

RockSmasher23: Dude, I don't care if she had a fricken eye brow ring and a tattoo of Bill Cosby! And as hilarious as his face was, we were in a room of some twenty plus people who saw it.

GroundPounder25: Seriously Matau, I swear I saw half the room do a spit-take. Although I will admit it WAS pretty funny.

BigBird24:…who the hell ordered a cake with that written on it anyways?

RockSmasher13: It…really makes you wonder doesn't it? O.o'"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"FrostyBite18 has logged on.**

FrostyBite18: Why?

AcroJester17: Why what? 8D

FrostyBite18: Don't what me, you know what! Now WHY!?

**SurferGurl17 has logged on.**

SurferGurl17: What are you two fighting about now? And Kopaka, what is it that you were covered in when you left the science lab?

**BurntToast19 has logged on.**

BurntToast19: Lewa has yet again managed to prove his awesomeness in the form of a kids snack and a defective chemical cooker! XDDD

SurferGurl17: What…?

FrostyBite18: What our idiotic friend here was trying to say is that THIS GUY-

AcroJester17: *waves happily* 8DD

FrostyBite18: - thought it would be just HILARIOUS to mix his lunch in a science experiment instead of the actual assignment!

BurntToast19: And it was just AWESOME!

AcroJester17: Yay! XD

BurntToast19: *Bro-fist* XD

SurferGurl17:…didn't this exact same thing happen when you two were paired up in home-ec?

FrostyBite18: Yes, but I was failing that anyways. It's the whole reason I took science in the first place! To get away from THAT GUY!

AcroJester17: *waves happily x2* 8DDDD

FrostyBite18: Shut up! And WHY did you use your damn PB and J sandwich? Do you have any idea how impossible it is to get this crap out of my clothes and hair?

BurntToast19: Hey, he just gave you an excuse to get rid of that emo-cut of yours. I mean, isn't your vision bad enough without those emo-bangs? XD

FrostyBite18: I'm far-sighted you idiot! Not impaired! And it's only in my right eye you dunce! And Lewa! You're taking that detention for me! I don't see why I had to get in trouble for your immature antics!

SurferGurl17: Unbelievable, I can't believe I hang out with you all…

BurntToast19: Oh come on, your life would be so boring without us! XD

SurgerGurl17:…

FrostyBite18: So I raise the question again. WHY?

Acrojester17:…cause its Peanut-butter jelly time~! Peanut-butter jelly time~! Peanut-butter jelly time~! Peanut-butter jelly~! Peanut-butter jelly~! Peanut-butter jelly~! *dances*

BurntToast19: ROFL

FrostyBite18: F*** you all…

SurferGurl17:…."

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"WhiteRage18 has logged on.**

WhiteRage18: Boys, its official. I'm going to hell! XDDDD

CrimsonFear19: Old news to us bro. lol

GreenVenom18: And yet you seem so proud of yourself despite your hate for hot weather…actually, despite your hate of everything.

BlackLeech19: Yeah, what did you do? You tip over a gummy bear truck?

WhiteRage18: Hey, I KNOW those things are out to get me with their damn colors and fruity-ness! But no, despite how happy that would make me right now.

CrimsonFear19: Pft, you? Happy? Since when? And what did you do to make it official that you are in fact going to burn in hell?

WhiteRage15: Hahahahaha! Okay, okay! You know that kid that lives down the street? The one that dressed up like a fairy this Halloween?

BlackLeech19: The one who you scared the sh** out of and stole candy from?

GreenVenom18: The one whose dad was actually a cop?

WhiteRage18: Yes! And hey, how was I supposed to know the guy was seriously a cop? It was Halloween! Who the hell wears their work uniform as a costume?

GreenVenom18: Apparently he does. Now come on and tell us what you did! You're actually getting me interested!

WhiteRage18: okay okay! XDD Okay! It was great! But just so you all know, I do in fact feel terrible about it, but I can't stop laughing!

CrimsonFear19: Dude, spill it before I spill your guts!

WhiteRage18: OKAY! Okay, so apparently she had some puppy and was playing with it out front, and I was out behind their alley playing with some fire crackers I 'borrowed' from Panrahk.

BlackLeech19: I'm telling~! XD

WhiteRage18: SHUT UP! Anyways, I figured, hey, I can get out a few shiz and giggles by scaring the crap out of her without her dad arresting me! So I lit a firecracker and toss it to her. It didn't go off…

CrimsonFear19: So…?

WhiteRage18: So, I got pissed but decided to light another. But then the puppy sees the dead one and goes over to pick it up.

GreenVenom18: And…?

WhiteRage18: Well…apparently, it wasn't a dud after all. The puppy brought it over to her, it went off, she started crying, the puppy was twitching, I was staring with my jaw on the ground and possibly a brick or two in my pants, then I started running when I heard dad coming out, then I hid in a dumpster. I sat there for a few minutes, then I started to smile, then I cracked up, then I found a perfectly good taco in said dumpster and had a late lunch. Now here I am. 8D

CrimsonFear19:…

GreenVenom18:…

BlackLeech19:…

WhiteRage18: And that, dear brothers, is why I am going to hell and I have NO REGRETS!

CrimsonFear19: I…am so glad…we are not actually related…

GreenVenom18: Yeah…

BlackLeech19: What they said…

WhiteRage18: Oh come on! You are not going to sit there and say that wasn't funny!

CrimsonFear19:…

GreenVenom18:…

BlackLeech19:…

WhiteRage18:….you're all grinning like idiots right now aren't you?

**CrimsonFear18, BlackLeech19, and GreenVenom18 have all logged off in shame.**

WhiteRage18: You're all such wimps!...fine, more tacos for me.

**WhiteRage18 has logged off to eat garbage taco."**

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"BigBird24 has logged onto mobile chat.**

BigBird24: God I must be desperate. Someone talk to me! I hate holidays with my parents!

**LittleBird16 has logged onto mobile chat.**

LittleBird16: Nuju! That's mean. And quit texting under the table. You'll get in trouble.

**FrostyBite18 has logged onto mobile chat.**

FrostyBite18: Yeah. Mom's got the eyes of a hawk and won't feel any shame whatsoever in beating you with her shoe if she catches you texting during one of her 'speeches'.

BigBird24: Shut up. I know you hate this too!

FrostyBite18: I don't deny it. But I love my pride more than I hate being here with mom and dad and half the family.

LittleBird16: Ugh…you guys are hopeless. We only get to see them on holidays and custody visits. Can't you both at least try to be nice to them?

BigBird24: No. They're both selfish idiots for putting you through this…

LittleBird16: Nuju…

**BirdTamer42 has logged onto mobile chat.**

BirdTamer42: Boys, shouldn't you be listening to your little brother and paying attention to your favorite uncle?

LittleBird16: Hi uncle Kualus!

FrostyBite18: Oi vey, the bird keeper's here. Well, that must be my cue. No bird in my penname.

**FrostyBite18 has logged off.**

BirdTamer42:…I really don't get why he makes such an efforts to avoid me.

LittleBird16: Ehehe…yeah.

BigBird24: ugh, stay out of this!

BirdTamer42: Aw, you're breaking my heart dear nephew! At least Matoro has some manners.

LittleBird16: Please don't drag me into this…

BigBird24: What do you want? And WHY didn't you stop our parents from dragging us here for the weekend? You know how much we hate them!

LittleBird16: I don't hate them!

BirdTamer42: One, because your mother would have torn me apart. Two, your father wanted to speak with you tonight. And three, I do not condone you keeping my sweet little nephew away from me for a whole year!

BigBird24: You saw Matoro three months ago!

BirdTamer42: Pft, yeah, via Skype. That's not visiting!

BigBird24: God you are such a child! Go croon over your birds or something!

BirdTamer42: Aww, what happened to the sweet boy who took pleasure from my company and my birds? Honestly, when you were Matoro's age, you'd make up any excuse to come see me!

BigBird24: I was young and stupid.

LittleBird16: Can't we all just get along? For one night? Please?

**FrostyBitch43 has logged onto mobile chat.**

FrostyBitch43: Nuju M. Shiver, what have I told you about phones at the table?

BigBird24: Aw sh**…

FrostyBitch43: Stop swearing young man! Now hang up, quit harassing your uncle, and set an example for Matoro! I didn't leave my youngest with you just so he could become such a ruffian like his brothers!

BigBird24: Yeah, love you too mom…

FrostyBitch43: And Kualus! Quit distracting my children and put that infernal thing away! You're lucky it was I and not your brother who caught you.

BirdTamer42: indeed…

FrostyBitch43: And Matoro!

LittleBird16: Erm, yes mom?

FrostyBitch43: Be a dear and fetch your brother. He once again seems to think I'm too old to notice when he's off avoiding us. Heaven only knows what he's getting into.

LittleBird16: Um, sure.

FrostyBitch43: And work on that stutter of yours dear and wipe that meek expression off your face. It's unbecoming of a boy your age.

BigBird24: HOW DARE YOU-! Matoro! Stay!

LittleBird16: Uh…?

BirdTamer42: This is just ridiculous.

FrostyBite43: Hush you! And don't you dare go against my word Nuju! I am your mother and you will do as I say!

BigBird24: I'm twenty-four years old! I don't think you're in any position to boss me around!

FrostyBitch43: Clearly someone thinks he's more mature than he acts.

LittleBird16: Um, guys…?

BigBird24: This is exactly why I left you lot! You're insufferable! And trying to force Matoro into taking over the family business? You're all bloody selfish!

FrostyBite43: don't you dare take that tone with me mister!

LittleBird16: Um…

BigBird24: I'll take any tone I want with you _mommy dearest!_

FrostyBitch43: How DARE you!

**LittleBird16 has logged off.**

BirdTamer42:…well great, there he goes. You scared him off.

BigBird24: What!? Damnit! This is all your fault! URGH!

**BigBird24 has logged off.**

FrostyBitch43: Never in all my years…!

**FrostyBitch43 has logged off.**

BirdTamer42: *le sigh* nice to have the family together…"

To be continued…

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

_1)- What can I say? I love this concept to bits. Nuparu's little shameless boy-crush on Matoro and Matoro's knack for not being able to deny a friend a simple sandwich. And really, the whole pet thing I couldn't resist. Btw, Kopaka does in fact have some knack for killing animals on accident, and not just birds. Also...summer camp is evil._

2)-...PFT! I'm sorry! I couldn't help it! I think I got the idea off an episode of SpongeBob. Although I hadn't seen it in ages, I had a flashback of an episode. Cookies to those who can figure out which one it is.

3)-...its peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly! Peanut butter jelly!  
I figured this would actually be a very fitting head canon. Far-sightedness in a person is when a faraway object is seen much closer than it really is. In a nutshell one could say its vision that is too strong for the average person, to put it simply, hence his Akaku, or mask of X-ray vision. He is known to use his mask scope to see far distances in the books and movie, so it fits rather well. And it's in his right eye because in his first and second set, his scope lens is on his right side. However, this can be arguable, as in his Mistika form, the scope switches to his left eye. This can also point to him possibly being left-handed, as it is theorized that one's preferred peripheral vision is derived from one's choice in hand use.

4)-...I...really have no excuses for this one. Both this and the next one were done when I was...kind of in a mood regarding a certain dog from my neighborhood and family issues. -_-

5)- Again, my excuse is blowing off steam from a past family issue. Not really with my parents per say, but others. Moving on. Poor Matoro. TwT

_REVIEW PLEASE!_


	17. Happy Turkey-slaughter day!

**Welcome to the Mata-chatroom.****  
**Ch. 17  
Happy Turkey-slaughter day!

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"DessertRunner18 has logged onto mobile chat.**

DessertRunner18: HELP! I'm trapped in my attic with nothing but a pie and no pants!

FrostyBite18:…what?

BurntToast19: What he said. Although that is a very funny mental image. XD

DessertRunner18: Not the time Tahu! HELP! DX

FrostyBite18: Okay, but why are you suddenly pants-less in an attic with a pie?

DessertRunner18: Hey! It's worse than it sounds! DX

BurntToast19: lol so what happened?

DessertRunner18: Well, you see…you know every year we cook a turkey in the oven and stuff, right?

BurntToast19: right…?

DessertRunner18: Right. But seeing as we're gonna have, like, two hundred members of my family over, we needed to cook like three of them…

FrostyBite18: God yours and Lewa's families are like rabbits…

BurntToast19: your story is putting me to sleep. Like when your grandma insists we listen to her stories from 'the good ol days' of her baseball career.

DessertRunner18: Hey! She is an inspiration to us all! But anyways, the story. For this year, to cut down time and oven power, we got a deep fryer.

FrostyBite18:…you're not serious are you?

DessertRunner18: I'm cereal! And well, uh…

BurntToast19: What did you do?

DessertRunner18: well you see, I was put in charge of hefting the fifty some pounds of turkey into the fryer and wait for it to cook.

FrostyBite18: Oh dear god, they left you in charge of a deep fryer?

BurntToast19: oh GAWD! XDD Spill it! What happened?

DessertRunner18: Shut up and you'll find out! It was taking forever, and the game was on! I mean, I was NOT going to miss the game! So I figured, 'hey, if I turn on the other two fryers, put the turkey's in those, and set the temp to high, that'll cut my time in half'!

FrostyBite18:….go on.

DessertRunner18: And I did just that. And as they say, when ya gotta go, ya gotta go. So I took a bathroom break, and just as I'm on the seat-

BurntToast19: DUDE! We do not want to hear any more details past that, thank you.

DessertRunner18: Alright fine! Like not even a minute later, I hear something blow up. You can guess what it scared out of me, so that kind of helped lessen my time on the can. Lol

FrostyBite18: Oh geez…

DessertRunner18: Then I hear a lot of people screaming, followed by what sounded like half the rainforest coming down, then my mom screaming my name in 'that way'.

FrostyBite18: The same way she did when you snuck into that retirement home to see if their shuffle board biscuits really were biscuits?

DessertRunner18: HEY! They sure as hell looked like biscuits to me!

BurntToast19: So…?

DessertRunner18: So, turns out the fryers blew up. As well as the birds, and half my kitchen. And so, being the mature and courageous man I am, I hauled ass out of the bathroom, pants still down, grabbed one of the pies for myself, and hightailed it to the attic.

FrostyBite18:…..

BurntToast19: Oh dear GOD! ROFLOLMAOBBQPLZ XDDD

FrostyBite18:….

DessertRunner18: and that's the story of why I'm hiding up in my attic and stuffing my face with pumpkin pie with no pants.

FrostyBite18:…..

DessertRunner18:….well?

FrostyBite18: Well what?

BurntToast19: by now you're berating Pohatu with foul words and comparing his intelligence to that of a pile of dung. What gives?

FrostyBite18: Oh. Yeah, that. Yeah, I would, but…

DessertRunner18: But…?

FrostyBite18: It's just…_way_ too easy.

DessertRunner18:…

BurntToast19:…

FrostyBite18:…

DessertRunner18:…oh my f***ing god, I phailed so hard, not even _Kopaka_ is willing to insult me.

BurntToast19: DAY-UM! XD"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"AirMoneky22 has logged on.**

AirMoneky22: Oh dear god I'm going to be in SO much trouble! D8

GroundPounder25: Pft, again? Matau, that's going to be the fifteenth time this week.

RockSmasher23: A new record. XDDD

BigBird24: Do we even need to ask what you did THIS TIME?

AirMoneky22: Well uh…maybe I should just show you. Hang on.

**AirMonkey22 has sent picture mail~**

GroundPounder25: WHOA!

RockSmasher23: Holy shi-!

BigBird24: I…am honestly, not nearly as shocked as you two are.

RockSmasher23: Dude…why is your head shoved up a turkey's ass!?

AirMonkey22: I got stuck, it was an accident! I was going to scare Kongu to get back at him for that stunt he pulled last night!

BigBird24: by getting a turkey stuck on your head?

AirMonkey22: Not like THIS! DX Now someone help me! It smells weird in here and this thing is cramping my neck!

RockSmasher23: Well of course it smells bad! You have your head up a dead turkey's ass! XDD

GroundPounder25: Wait, on that account, how are you even typing this?

AirMonkey22: Oh, I cut a hole in the breast.

GroundPounder25:…O-kay then.

BigBird24: Ugh, just grab the legs, spread them open, and wiggle your head out. Use butter if you have to.

AirMonkey22:…..

RockSmasher23:…..

GroundPounder25:….

BigBird24:….what?

AirMonkey22: PFFFT! Dude! That sounded SO WRONG on so many levels! XDD

BigBird24: This, coming from the guy with his head up a turkey's ass?

GroundPounder25: Matau, you haven't done anything this stupid since you were dared to run into an anime-only convention in your underwear screaming 'the trekkies are coming, the trekkies are coming!'

RockSmasher23: Now, now, let's not blame him too badly for that. XD

BigBird24: you're only defending him because you made a fortune off the video you made of it.

RockSmasher23: That is so…true. XD

AirMonkey22: uh, hello! Guy with his head up a turkey's butt! Parents are gonna be home soon, and I still can't get out! What do I do!?

BigBird24: I vote we cook him and give him to a homeless shelter.

Airmonkey22: That's so mean! And…gross! D8

BigBird24: Hey, just trying to think of those less fortunate than us. Lol"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"BigBird24 has logged onto mobile chat.**

BigBird24: I just got kicked out of my own kitchen again…

FireSpitter23: lol what?

**FrostyBite18 has logged on.**

FrostyBite18: Pft, it's like this every year on thanksgiving. In fact, almost every time he comes over for dinner.

BigBird24: be quiet…

FireSpitter23: I'm confused.

Frostybite18: lol its nothing, just Matoro being the 'mom' of the house again. This happens every year, Matoro's in the middle of making thanksgiving dinner, and Nuju sneaks in to get his grubby paws into the food before it even makes it to the table. Matoro gets mad every time and kicks him out. It's pretty funny XD

FireSpitter23: Srsly? Sounds like my mom!

Frostybite18: Well he does all the cooking in this house, so the kitchen's his territory. Our parents not living with us, he technically is the 'mom' of our home. And Nuju's the impatient brat. XDD

BigBird24: Shut up! I can't help it! The campus food is DISGUSTING! And don't put this all on me, you once tried to sneak in through the kitchen window to get a taste of that stew he made last week! And you eat like a pig! And he is NOT a 'mom'!

FireSpitter23: Pft, he sure sounds like it. Lol

BigBird24: Just shut up and stop pinging me, he just left the kitchen…

FrostyBite18: Srsly? Do you have a death wish?

BigBird24: No, I have a hole in my stomach where those mashed potatoes should be.

FireSpitter23: Wow Nuju…

FrostyBite18: Just wait. Matoro's got 'mom' senses.

BigBird24: He does not!

**LittleBird16 has logged onto mobile chat.**

LittleBird16: Nuju M Shiver, get your hands off the turkey and back into the living room!

BigBird24: Sh**…!

LittleBird16: Don't you give me that look mister, I've had it with your constant picking! Get your hands off the turkey and your butt back in your room, or no dessert!

BigBird24: but I-

LittleBird16: NOW! DX

FrostyBite18: better listen to him bro. he's got the spatula out. XD

LittleBird16: Hush you. Don't think I didn't see you eyeing that custard a moment ago!

FrostyBite16:…

LittleBird16: Now get out of here, get your butt in your room, and if you're good, I'll maybe let you have some of the stuffing when it's done.

BigBird24:…fine.

LittleBird16: Good!

**LittleBird16 has logged off.**

FireSpitter23:…..

FrostyBite18:…..

BigBird24:….

FireSpitter23:…pft…not a mo-

BigBird24: This proves nothing! I am the authority figure here, not him!

**LittleBird16 has logged back onto mobile chat.**

LittleBird16: Nuju! What have I told you about leaving your shoes in the living room? They're filthy and I just vacuumed! Now go pick them up and go to your room already!

BigBird24: you can't just-!

Frostybite18: Now he's got the wooden spoon…

BigBird24:…yes sir.

LittleBird16: Humph…

**LittleBird16 has logged off.**

FireSpitter23:….not the mom huh? LOL

BigBird24: STFU…"

To be continued…

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

_I also would like to thank those who have submitted word-inspiration to me! Happy holidays!_

_1)- It's a stated fact that fourteen out of fifteen people who deep-fry a turkey are injured or killed during this process because they are not doing it properly or are rushing. Multiply that times three and add a Pohatu and you got hell in a pot XDD_

_2)- This was inspired by the thanksgiving episode of Friends. And isn't Nuju just so thoughtful? XDD Also, THE TREKKIES ARE COMING, THE TREKKIES ARE COMING! XD_

_3)- let the record show that Matoro is in fact the mom of their house in my headcanon XDDD fear his wooden spoon of evilness!_

_REVIEW PLEASE!_


	18. Santa Vs Sandy

**Welcome to the Mata-chatroom.**  
Ch. 18  
Santa clause vs. Sandy claws.

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"AcroJester17 has logged on.**

AcroJester17: Omg, I'm such an idiot! TT-TT

FrostyBite18: OMG, he's finally admitted it. Is the park fountain bleeding? Has Hitler risen from the dead? Is Britney Spears suddenly making a comeback? Is it my birthday?

DessertRunner18: ROFL geez man, BURN!

AcroJester17: You are so MEAN! And during a time of crisis! I'm gonna cry…

FrostyBite18: rofl I'm sorry, but you left that one wide open.

DessertRunner18: XD so why exactly are you an idiot?

FrostyBite18: it's not because of something obvious is it?

DessertRunner18: Whoa, someone's on a roll today. XDD

FrostyBite18: Shut up.

AcroJester17: um, hello? Guy in a major situation here! PAY ATTENTION TO ME! DDX

FrostyBite18: Alright, alright, geez. Someone's whiny today.

AcroJester17: yeah? And someone needs to STUFF IT RIGHT NOW!

DessertRunner18:…

FrostyBite18:…wow, it's THAT serious? O.o'

DessertRunner18: Dude, what happened?

FrostyBite18:…the park fountain isn't REALLY bleeding, is it?

DessertRunner18: Dude! Enough!

FrostyBite18: Sorry. I know, I'm done now, I swear.

AcroJester17: THANK YOU!

DessertRunner18: So, what's wrong?

AcroJester17:…

DessertRunner18:…

FrostyBite18:…well?

AcroJester17: Erm…I forgot.

DesserRunner18: *BRICK'D*

FrostyBite18:…you're not worth my awesome banter anymore."

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"WhiteRage18 has logged on.**

WhiteRage18: Vorahk, you're an ass.

BlackLeech19: Again? You called me an ass three times this past week! Isn't it Lerahk's turn? Lol

WhiteRage18: SHUT UP!

BlackLeech19: Geez, what are you pissed about this time?

WhiteRage18: Everything! The damn holidays, all these shoppers, the snow, the lights, the trees, the fat-asses dressed up like the big red idiot fondling kids at the mall-

BlackLeech19: Ew…

WhiteRage18: -AND all of this…this…disgusting CHEER! AUGH!

BlackLeech19: God almighty, the one time of the year some people TRY to be nicer, and you pick it to be even more of a jerk than you are now. Such a Grinch.

WhiteRage18: DON'T YOU USE CHRISTMAS PUNS ON ME YOU ASS!

**GreenVenom18 has logged on.**

GreenVenom18: lol Omg, Kurahk, I can hear you raving incoherently from the roof. The hell man? We run out of OJ again?

WhiteRage18: F*** you, you're an ass!

BlackLeech19: I thought I was the ass.

WhiteRage18: You're both asses. You're the left ass cheek, he's the right. Together you both make up one big, lopsided, smelly ass that shall one day spawn equally smelly turds together. Mozol tov, ass cheeks.

GreenVenom18:….okay, now that was pretty funny, but I am thoroughly insulted by being compared to mister dread locks over here.

BlackLeech19: Hey! I make them look good! DX"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**FireCracker16 has logged on.**

FireCracker16: Kongu, for the last TIME! It is NOT possible for anyone, magic or otherwise, to travel all around the world in one night, sneak into every single house on the planet, and deliver gifts! NOT possible! DX

MiniTwister15: BLASPHEMY! It IS possible damn it!

**LittleBird16 has logged onto mobile chat.**

FireCracker16: Oh, perfect! Someone with a brain. Matoro! Tell Kongu that Santa isn't real and that it ISN'T possible to do everything he's said to do in one night!

LittleBird16: God, I get stuck in a mile-long line at the department store for gifts, and log onto this? Geez…

MiniTwister15: Tell Jaller he's WRONG and that Santa is real and he is AWESOME!

LittleBird16: uh, no, I will not get into an opinion war.

FireCracker16: PLEASE! This guy's been bugging me since October! Say something to him before I send him to the north pole myself! DX

MiniTwister15: Bring it you non-believer! DX

LittleBird16: Ugh, alright, enough! There is actually a simple answer to this.

FireCracker16: That he's not real?

MiniTwister15: That Jaller's a mean non-believer?

LittleBird16: no. Well, not really. Jaller, simmer down, I got this.

FireCracker16: THANK YOU. Now tell him Santa is a non-existent LIE!

MiniTwister15: Tell Jaller that SANTA can do ANYTHING!

LittleBird16: Jaller, hush. Kongu, listen here. And this is the honest to god truth.

MiniTwister15: Okay…

LittleBird16: Santa Clause does, in fact, not exist.

MiniTwister15: YOU LIE-

LittleBird16: BUT! Sandy Claws does exist.

FireCracker16:…

MiniTwister15:…

FireCracker16:…what!?

LittleBird16: Yep. Sandy is the REAL deal, Santa was the cheap knock-off thought up by aliens. Sandy is also way awesomer, and drives a motorcycle, not a sleigh. And his reindeer are ponies that poop rainbows, and they eat cake. Yep, Sandy is the all-time real-deal. Santa is fake. 8)

FireCracker16:…

MiniTwister15:…

FireCracker16:…you are such a LYING-

MiniTwister15: OMG! 8DDD I can't believe I didn't know this! What else does he do? What's he look like? Have you ever seen him? 8DD

FireCracker16: What…!?

LittleBird16: He does international mail delivery on weekends and his elves are actually winged Oompa Loompas. He also has a Mohawk under his hat and loves lemonade and jerky. And yes, I have. Sneaky devil he is, I only got a glimpse of his awesome guitar strapped to his back.

MiniTwister15: **OMFG!** 8DDDD

FireCracker16: What the f*** is all this!?

LittleBird16: So yeah, Santa is fake, Sandy is real and awesome. And he's getting kind of sick of the cookies and milk thing. Guy's gotta keep his figure. He has to look good even though he's not a member of The Beatles anymore.

MiniTwister15: KYYAAAAAAAAAHHHH~! He was a member of the Beatles!? OMG!

FireCracker16: **WTF!?**

LittleBird16: Yep! So you better run along now and get rid of those cookies and milk. He might leave you something extra as a reward. 83

FireCracker16: Are you hearing yourself!?

MiniTwister15: OMG you're right! I gotta go! Bye and thanks Matoro!

**MiniTwister15 has logged off.**

LittleBird16: Well, there you go. Argument avoided.

FireCracker16:…are you HIGH!? Did the season fever melt your brain or something!? Or did you drop it in a bargain bin at Wal-Mart!? WTF WAS that!?

LittleBird16: Oh come on, you think _I_ have the heart to tell him Santa is a fraud? You should have called Kopaka for that. But anyways, why not tell him this? Gives him something to do. I leave the 'Santa is fake' thing up to his parents.

FireCracker16: Where did you even GET all of that?

LittleBird16: I'm standing in a now half-mile long line after fighting tooth and nail with some random middle age woman over a Vocaloid belt for Kopaka in the peak of the holiday season. You think I can't pull that kind of crap out of my ass in this insanity?

FireCracker16:…what the fu-

**MiniTwister15 has logged on.**

MiniTwister15: Matoro! I almost forgot to ask. What kind of jerky does he like?

FireCracker16: You cannot be-

LittleBird16: Smoked beef.

MiniTwister15: Thanks!

**MiniTwister15 has logged off. **

FireCracker16:…..I give up. I f***ing give up on you all."

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**"Mata-chat tweet update.  
By RockyKick16.**

Mood: Happeh!  
Doing: Unwrapping secret Santa gift!

~Omg! I got a secret Santa! Although, it doesn't say who it's from.  
Bet it's from Macku. X3  
She's so sweet. You rock girl!  
Opening gift now.  
Wonder why she used yellow palm tree wrapping paper.  
Tossed wrapper, now left with box. Opening box with scissors.  
Looking in box.

…

…**OH MY F***ING GOD! IT'S YOU! AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"**

To be continued…

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

_1)- ROFL ok, I KNOW you all got a kick out of this one. And the sad part is, Lewa never did figure out why he was so upset. XD_

2)- This was...an actual conversation between myself and my brother. Although we are not Jewish. I just like saying Mozol tov. XD

3)- It's true. Santa is a FAKE kids! Sandy is REAL! You can come up with SO MUCH SH** in a Wal-Mart during Xmas! I MEAN IT!

4)- I swear to god, if you all don't figure this out for a SECOND TIME...


	19. Insert something Witty, here

**Welcome to the Mata-chatroom.****  
**Ch. 18

Insert something witty, here.

**X~X~X~X~X~X**

"MiniTwister15: so, if they call it New Jersey…was there ever an Old Jersey?

RockyKick16: No Kongu, for the last time. That's just its name! There was never an old, semi-old, or middle-age Jersey! EVER!

MiniTwister15: You don't know that! You get solid Cs in geo/history class!

RockyKick16: Coming from the guy who can't name twenty of the fifty states of the US.

MiniTwister15: HEY! That's mean!

RockyKick16: Old Jersey does not exist. It's just a stupid saying to confuse people.

MiniTwister15: LIES! Old Jersey LIVES!

**HafuTheGreat#1 has logged on.**

HafuTheGreat#1: It's true! I've seen it!

RockyKick16: O.o' Hafu?

MiniTwister15: See! He agrees!

RockyKick16: The hell are you doing on here? I thought you were in New Jersey for the week with your folks. And how did you get onto this chatroom?

HafuTheGreat#1: I finally found an internet café and decided to bug my favorite cousin! And honestly? I just guessed this was your password, and it let me in. XDD I can't believe your password is 'anti-pineapple-protest'! You're so paranoid!

MiniTwister15: ikr? XDD

RockyKick16: Hey! 'anti-pineapple-murderers' was taken, and anyways, Old Jersey is a MYTH! DX

HafuTheGreat#1: Denial isn't just a Port-o-potty in Wisconsin~!

RockyKick16:…WHAT? That's not the phrase! WTF?

MiniTwister15: You're right! It's even better! Can I borrow that? 8D

HafuTheGreat#1: Yes you may!

RockyKick16: Who the hell are you!?

HafuTheGreat#1: I…am the mayor of Old Jersey!

RockyKick16:…

MiniTwister15: Sweet! 8DD

RockyKick16: You…are both nuts.

MiniTwister15: Well…if old jersey doesn't exist, and we have the mayor right here, what does that make a pineapple? JUICED!

RockyKick16: That makes no sense, man.

MiniTwister15: It makes perfect sense, you see, we have the mayor of old jersey right here and you say it doesn't exist. Then what does that make a pineapple? JUICED!

RockyKick16: WTF man?! You just said that!

MiniTwister15: It makes perfect sense, you see, we have the mayor of old jersey right here and you say it doesn't exist. Then what does that make a pineapple? JUICED!

RockyKick16: Aaaaahhhhh…! My head…it hurts…! DX

HafuTheGreat#1: Okaaaaayy…logging off now…

**HafuTheGreat#1 has logged off to scratch head and beat it on a wall."**

**X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**AirMonkey22 has logged onto mobile chat.**

AirMonkey22: Hey Vakama! Where are you? I'm booooooored!

FireSpitter23: I'm helping a friend set up a garage sale. Why? Aren't you in a tutoring session?

AirMonkey22: I SHOULD be, but that's what looooong bathroom breaks are for. XDD

FireSpitter23: Of course…

AirMonkey22: Oh! Whose garage sale? Please say Whenua, please say Whenua, _please_ say Whenua…!

FireSpitter23: Why would you want to be at a garage sale by Whenua?

AirMonkey22: Dude, the guy is a living cave-man. Don't tell me you don't wanna know what kind of sh** that guy would be selling. I bet I could find a T-rex skull in his junk!

**BigBird24 has logged onto mobile chat.**

BigBird24: You know he actually has a good point. Wonder if he has like some eight million year old asteroid in a shoe box somewhere. Lol

AirMonkey22: See? Slushy over here agrees. 8DD

FireSpitter23: ugh, whatever. And anyways, no, Whenua is not throwing the garage sale.

AirMonkey22: What about a yard sale?

BigBird24:…aren't those two the same?

AirMonkey22: NO! There is a DISTINCT difference! DX

FireSpitter23: Ugh, no! Not that either! It's an old high-school friend's garage sale. Geez.

BigBird24: Ah, I think I remember her. Hija was her name, right?

AirMonkey22: HER? 8DD So does that mean I can haz Nokama naow?

**LightTheWorld has logged onto mobile chat.**

LightTheWorld: No, you cannot haz Nokama. Hey Vakama! I need your help with that box on the top shelf!

FireSpitter23: Oh right. Hang on guys. We're open now, so feel free to stop by.

LightTheWorld: Bring money plz! Lol

BigBird24: Huh, wonder if they have anything good there…

AirMonkey22: Like a new boring old telescope? XD

BigBird24: Well if SOMEONE hadn't painted ink all over the lens of my VERY EXPENSIVE one and therefore permanently STAININGT THE LENS, I wouldn't be looking for a new one!

AirMonkey22: Hehehe! Black eye~!

**GroundPounder25 has logged onto mobile chat.**

GroundPounder25: Hey Vak! Heard you're in a garage sale. Anything good?

BigBird24: Ugh, who invited you?

GroundPounder25: Blech, bite me.

FireSpitter23: Guys, come on…

LightTheWorld: it's just the standard stuff. Old movies, a few games, CDs, some toys, house ware, misc. That kinda stuff.

GroundPounder25: What kind of movies?

LightTheWorld: Ummmm…oh, here. A bunch of Disney movies, a few star wars vids, Ironman, Chronicles of Narnia, Fireproof, and uh…some chick flick series called…Lola's Life? O.o'

BigBird24: Oh GAWD.

AirMonkey22: People still watch that?

FireSpitter23: I uh…had no idea you were…

LightTheWorld: They're my mom's! Geez!

GroundPounder25: Lo…Lola's life?

LightTheWorld: Yeah, mom got an extra dvd package of season 1-2 for her birthday last week. So she's getting rid of one of them.

GroundPounder25:…

LightTheWorld: What?

GroundPounder25: I…have to go. Now.

**GroundPounder25 has logged off.**

FireSpitter23:…well that was weird.

AirMonkey22: He probably thought the name would give him kooties. XDD

BigBird24: Oh grow up.

**RockyKick16 has logged onto mobile chat.**

RockyKick16: THERE IS A F***ING PINEAPPLE IN THIS BOX! DDD8

LightTheWorld: Erm, yeah. That used to be my fish's home…

AirMonkey22: I thought it was a sponge's home. EH? EH?

BigBird24: Just because you add 'eh' at the end of a bad joke does not make it funny, moron.

AirMoneky22: Well it SHOULD! And what do you know? You're from Canada!

BigBird24: And you fell off the back of a truck when you were born.

RockyKick16: IT'S MOCKING ME! AUGH!

**RockyKick16 has fled the scene in terror.**

FireSpitter23:…

BigBird24: And no, Vakama, that wasn't weird. THAT was weird…

AirMonkey22: Can't argue there…

LightTheWorld: Yeah…hey, Vakama?

FireSpitter23: Yeah?

LightTheWorld: Is that…is that Whenua over there by the Lola's Life set…?

BigBird24: Whaaaaa? 8D

AirMonkey22: What he said!

FireSpitter23: No, no way. It's…well…wait a minute…does Whenua own a trench coat?

BigBird24: Hold that thought…

**BigBird24 is busy.**

**BigBird24 has sent an instant message to GroundPounder25.**

**GroundPounder25 has received message.**

GroundPounder25: What's up?

FireSpitter23: OMFG!

LightTheWorld: Oh god…

BigBird24: I F***ING KNEW IT! 8D You ARE a chick-flick closet groupie! HAH!

GroundPounder25: What the-!? No I'm not! I-I'm just uh…they're for my sister!

FireSpitter23: You don't have a sister…

GroundPounder25: Well…they're…uh…

BigBird24: Oh god…I'm gonna cry. I'm so f***ing happy…! I have pure blackmail on a six foot six, 25 year old man who's a CLOSET GROUPIE! *sobs happily*

AirMonkey22: Yeah… O.o'

LightTheWorld: Uh…Whenua, if you wanted them, you could have just said so…

GroundPounder25: I don't! I just…oh screw it. Yeah, they're for me. TT-TT

BigBird24: *bawling* TwT

FireSpitter23: Geez Whenua, why should we care? Yeah it's a chick show, but we don't care. Your thing dude.

GroundPounder25:…you're not weirded out?

FireSpitter23: Not…too much?

LightTheWorld: Yeah, and come on, like I would care either. I'm a girl! Lol

AirMonkey22: I'll probably forget about this anyways. Lol

BigBird24: Not me~ 8D

GroundPounder25: Shut up…

**LittleBird16 has logged onto mobile chat.**

LittleBird16: Hey Nuju, where did you want me to put your 'Days of Our Lives' dvds?

LightTheWorld:…

FireSpitter23:…

AirMonkey22:…

GroundPounder25:…oh. My. GA-

BigBird24: GAH! Matoro! Wh-what are you talking about? I don't watch that! That-that's stupid!

LittleBird16: What are you talking about? I could hear you _bawling_ downstairs last night when you found out that one guy's baby wasn't really his…

GroundPounder25: You HYRPOCRITE!

BigBird24: SHUT UP! Matoro! Go to your room! You're grounded!

LittleBird16: Wait, what!? What did I-

BigBird24: NOW! DX

**LittleBird16 has logged off in serious confusion.**

BigBird24:…

LightTheWorld:…

FireSpitter23:…

AirMonkey22:…

GroundPounder25:…you know this means you-

BigBird24: Shut. Up."

**X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**BurntToast19 has logged on.**

BurntToast19: DAMNIT KOPAKA! You are such a JERK! DDX

FrostyBite18: Wow, haven't heard that one before… *SARCASM*

BurntToast19: You idiot! You were supposed to pick me up from the airport TWO HOURS AGO! WTF are you doing!?

FrostyBite18: Eating, what else? Hey, did you know the Taco-Bell Chihuahua mascot was banned because it was considered racist?

BurntToast19: DON'T YOU CHANGE THE SUBJECT! Get your ass down to the airport already and pick me up! It's pouring out here and they won't let me back in the terminal!

FrostyBite18: I'll get to it eventually. I'm trying to figure out how many licks it takes to get the center of a tootsie-pop.

BurntToast19: CAN YOU NOT HEAR ME RIGHT NOW!?

FrostyBite19: Hey, on your way back, can you pick up a carton of milk? We're out.

BurntToast19: WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU!?

**LittleBird16 has logged on.**

LittleBird16: He suffers from an incurable disease.

BurntToast19: What? He's sick or something?

LittleBird16: Yup. And he shall never be cured of this dreaded sickness.

BurntToast19: Which is…?

LittleBird16: Selective-hearing.

BurntToast19:…

FrostyBite18: lol"

**X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**AcroJester17 has logged on.**

AcroJester17: HOMFG! Someone stole my taste buds! DD8

CaveCrawler19:…what?

DessertRunner18: Uh…O.o'

SuferGurl17: Erm, Lewa…can you be more specific?

AcroJester17: It's TRUE! Yesterday I had 9,985 taste buds, but when I woke up today, I only had 9,562! SOMEONE STOLE MAH BUDS! DDX

CaveCrawler19:…you…counted your taste buds?

DessertRunner18: For cereal?

AcroJester17: YUSH! I'm calling the cops and telling them some freak is stealing mah buds!

**AcroJester17 has logged off.**

SurferGurl17:…

DessertRunner18:…

CaveCrawler19:…

DessertRunner18: Should we uh…be concerned?

CaveCrawler19: Honestly, I wouldn't be too worried. You remember last month when he thought someone was stealing his toenails but it turned out it was his mom trimming them when he slept?

SurferGurl17: Gross…"

**X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**Mata-chat journal update.**

**By** **BigBird24.**

Eating: Onewa's pizza.

Drinking: Onewa's soda. (blech)

Doing: Eating Onewa's pizza.

Watching: Onewa throwing a hissy fit while I eat his pizza.

Current mood: Smug.

~ I'm gonna have major heartburn after this, but it's SO worth it. XD Anyways, so Onewa thought it would be just HILARIOUS to go up to the roof of the college, wait for me to approach the building, and dump water and flour on me from above. I believe this prank is called 'antiquing'. Two days later, REVENGE.

**Comments~**

RockSmasher23: YOU SON OF A BITCH! GIMME MY PIZZA! DDX

BigBird24: Hmm…no. *noms pizza*

RockSmasher23: GIMME! DDX

BigBird24: Gimme-gimme never gets. Lol

RockSmasher23: I swear to GOD Nuju! I only ANTIQUED you! YOU on the other hand kidnapped my pizza and are EATING IT!

BigBird24L Correction, you ruined my new glasses, drenched my report, and ruined the scarf Matoro bought me. This is mere retaliation, good sir. And this pizza's pretty good…

RockSmasher23: I KNOW IT'S GOOD! Now put down that slice and OPEN THIS DOOR so I can kick your can!

BigBird24: Nope. Oh and what's this? The last slice? It can't be!

RockSmasher23: Nuju…

BigBird24: *brings slice to mouth*

RockSmasher23: Don't you DARE…!

BigBird24: *pokes tongue out*

RockSmasher23: DON'T YOU F***ING DARE!

BigBird24: *licks it* lol

RockSmasher23: **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**

**RockSmasher23 has logged off to plan BigBird24's murder.**

BigBird24: SO worth it. Lol"

To be continued…

**X~X~X~X~X~X**

_Uuuuuuhhhh…okay, not NEARLY as funny as I intended this to be. AT ALL. Or it could just be that I don't find it funny because I'm the one writing it. I dunno. Enjoy folks!_

_Some plots/scenarios were suggested to be my the lovely Stormseeker123 (aka earthquakes123) thanks a lot sweets! Give her some love people!_

_1-) Ladies and gents, Hafu has made an appearance. OH MAI GAWD. And don't ask me about that 'juiced' bit. I'm just as confused as you guys probably are XDD Also…OLD JERSEY LIVES GOD F*** IT!_

_2-) And here we have a peek into the world of closet-groupies. This is also a tribute to the still MIA __**InTheLight-Hija**__. Please come back girl! We miss you! _

_3-) Many people are afflicted by this dreadful disease. Please show your support by wearing ear plugs, bending over, and showing the world your ass…PFT!_

_4-) Fact; the human mouth houses over 10,000 taste buds. We also lose hundreds of taste buds per hour that are later replaced by new ones. _

_5-) NEVER…eat Onewa's pizza. You will die. Also, __**NEVER **__'antique' Nuju. EVER…that is all. 8D_

_REVIEW PLEASE!_


	20. Life's a Beach

**Welcome to the Mata-chatroom.**

Ch. 20

Life's a Beach.

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**AcroJester17 has logged onto mobile chat.**

AcroJester17: hey guys guess what! 8DD

BurntToast19: you found a nickel in your couch.

CaveCrawler19: you realized that those elves on the cookie packages do not in fact live in your shoes?

FrostyBite18: you finally got that thing removed from your ass?

AcroJester17: YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T TALK ABOUT IT! And NO! I gotz a job! 8DDD

BurntToast19: Srsly? O.o

CaveCrawler19: Wow, congrats Lewa.

FrostyBite18: Now hang on, what IS this job?

BurntToast19: It's not like that time you woke up and thought you worked for the FBI is it?

AcroJester17: Hey, that was a VERY REALISTIC dream! And it's not like that. In fact it's kind of a handy-man job than an actual job lol

CaveCrawler19: Like yard work and stuff?

Acrojester17: yeah! I ish mowin' lawns naow! Dude, this one guy is awesome, he's letting me use his riding mower! 8D

CaveCrawler19:…

FrostyBite18:…

BurntToast19:…you…are riding a lawn mower?

AcroJester17: YUSH! Posting a pic now!

**AcroJester17 is busy.**

**Acrojester17 has posted picture on blog.**

**Chatroom members have opened picture file.**

FrostyBite18:…dude, what happened to the fence in the background?

AcroJester17: Nothing! It's just a little dent! Nothing a few planks of 2 by 4, a hammer, and nails can't fix!

BurntToast19: Why is there a dog being dragged behind you via his leash?

AcroJester17: he likes me!

CaveCrawler19: Okay…why is there a man behind you chasing you with a crow bar on a road and not in an actual yard?

AcroJester17:…so I veered out of the yard a bit! I bet people will pay me once I mow their lawns too! 8D

FrostyBite18: Lewa, I will give you twenty bucks to go postal and tear up Tahu's yard. Srsly.

BurntToast19: I'll pay you double to tear up Kopaka's yard and mow over his motorcycle.

CaveCrawler19: I'll pay you triple to tear up BOTH their yards and tell them to shut up and make nice already.

AcroJester17: If you quadruple it I'll tear them both up and tell them to make love 8D

FrostyBite18:…

BurntToast19:…

CaveCrawler19:…

AcroJester17: Hey is it a bad thing if the motor is starting to smoke and make this weird hiccupping noise?

**FrostyBite18 has logged off.**

**BurntToast19 has logged off.**

**CaveCrawler19 has logged off."**

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**FireSpitter23 has logged on.**

FireSpitter23: Dudes, what the hell happened to all the pillows in the dorms? O.o

AirMonkey22: Omfg you too?

RockSmasher23: WTF is going on? Me, Whenua, and Nokama are missing our damn pillows!

FireSpitter23: What about Nuju?

RockSmasher23: Don't know. He pretty much vanished yesterday after he got a call from home.

AirMonkey22: Why would he steal our pillows? O.o'

**FrostyBite18 has logged on.**

FrostyBite18: Oi vey, he did it again didn't he?

FireSpitter23: Did what again? He took them?

AirMoneky22: WHY!?

FrostyBite18: Matoro's sick.

RockSmasher23: AND?

FrostyBite18: And…that's it.

FireSpitter23: WHY though?

FrostyBite18: Hell should I know. Apparently Matoro needs, quote, 'maximum comfort to get better so step off Kopaka and give me your pillows', end quote. So I'm pillowless tonight.

RockSmasher23: So…lemme get this straight. He stole our pillows to give to his sick brother, who could easily be killed by a pillow, 'comfort'? WTFH man? He can get his own!

AirMonkey22: yeah! I mean, I feel bad for the kid, but wtf?

FrostyBite18: hey it's not like he's being babied willingly…

RockSmasher23: He is such a girl sometimes…

**LittleBird16 has logged onto mobile chat.**

LittleBird16: Ugh, Kopaka! Get Nuju off my back and to take these damn pillows back! One of them smells like old meatloaf!

AirMonkey22: That's mine!

LittleBird16: ugh, I'm so sorry you guys, I swear, I had NO SAY in this!

FireSpitter23: How sick are you that Nuju thinks you need a dozen pillows?

LittleBird16: I'm fricken fine! I just have a cold! KOPAKA! Get me out of here now! I'm fricken buried now and it smells like pizza, sweat, and shame!

RockSmasher23: That last one might be Vak's. XDD

FireSpitter23: BI

LittleBird16: Well it STINKS! Don't you people bathe!?

AirMonkey22: Geez, SOMEONE needs a midol XD

FrostyBite18: Don't mind him, he gets cranky when he's sick. Lol

**BigBird24 has logged onto mobile chat.**

LittleBird16: damn it…

**BigBird24 has banned LittleBird16 from chatroom.**

BigBird24: you're all not getting your pillows back until Matoro is better damnit!

**BigBird24 has logged off.**

AirMonkey22:…

RockSmasher23:…

FireSpitter23:…

FrostyBite18:…welp, looks like I'm crashing at Pohtau's tonight. Like hell I'm staying in the same house with a maternal Nuju. Good luck idiots.

**FrostyBite18 has logged off to intrude on DessertRunner18's home.**

RockSmasher23: Hey uh…Vak?

FireSpitter23: yeah?

RockSmasher23: Should I be worried that my pillow is where I hide my 'magazines'?

AirMonkey22: Magazines?

RockSmasher23: No, my _MAGAZINES…_

FireSpitter23: Oh….OH! Oh gosh… OxO'

AirMonkey22: you're gonna die dude…

RockSmasher23: TwT"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**RockyKick16 has logged on.**

RockyKick16: MATORO IS PURE EVIL! DDX

FireCracker16: lol why is he pure evil?

MiniTwister15: does this have to do with what happened at the beach yesterday? XDD

RainDrop15: What happened at the beach yesterday?

DirtDigger16: Why do you guys always have fun when we're away? DX

RockyKick16: IT WASN'T FUN! DDX

RainDrop15: lol omg what happened?

MiniTwister15: Matoro pulled a prank on Hewkii XDD

DirtDigger16: OoO NO…

FireCracker16: YES! XDDD omfg it was SO BAD! LOL

RainDrop15: Tell me! I'm curious now!

RockyKick16: NO! It was TERRIBLE! He's evil! He's an EVIL LEMON!

RainDrop15: lolwut?

FireCracker16: XD never mind, but oh man, it was hilarious!

DirtDigger16: Man tell us!

RockyKick16: NO!

MiniTwister15: XDD okay, so we're all at the beach for some relaxation time…

RockyKick16: SHUT UP!

FireCracker16: Hewkii falls asleep on his towel, and Matoro is pissed at him for some reason.

RockyKick16: Don't SAY IT!

MiniTwister15: he goes up to Hewkii and drags him down by the shore and covers him in seaweed.

RockyKick16: I can hear me! CAN YOU HEAR ME!?

FireCracker16: then he goes up to Lewa and asks him if he knows CPR.

RockyKick16: HELLO!?

MiniTwister15: Bro says yes, he does, and asks why. Matoro says 'yeah, I think Hewkii drowned' he points to where Hewkii is 'washed up'…

RockyKick16: I WILL MURDER YOU ALL!

FireCracker16: And like the hero he is, Lewa jumps up, runs to Hewkii, pins him down, and then proceeds to give him some unwilling mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

RockyKick16: **AAAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH! **

MiniTwister15: And it was EPIC. XDD

RainDrop15: Oh. My. GAWD. ROFL

DirtDigger16: *is having spastic seizure of LAWLing*

RockyKick16: **I WILL NUKE YOU ALL!**

FireCracker16: XDD oh come on Hewkii, you know it was funny!

MiniTwister15: Srsly! It was hilarious! XD

RockyKick16: SHUT UP! I don't even KNOW what I did to piss him off!

**LittleBird16 has logged on.**

LittleBird16: You ate my big cookie…

RockyKick16: Wha…?

MiniTwister15: Wait, that giant thing was YOURS?

FireCracker16: THAT'S why you're mad at him? Because he ate your COOKIE?

RainDrop15: That's…kind of weird Matoro…

DirtDigger16: No it's not! How DARE he eat his cookie!? DX

RockyKick16: WHY!? It was a cookie man! I got a lip-lock from Lewa because you didn't get your chocolate chips!?

LittleBird16: No, you got a lip-lock from Lewa because you ate the cookie I got with my iced coffee. I can't JUST have coffee! I need my cookie too damnit! DX

RockyKick16:…dude…I got mouth-raeped by Lewa…you just didn't get a cookie.

LittleBird16: Yes, well then, you shouldn't have stolen my big cookie now should you?"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**Mata-chat journal update.**

**By RockyKick16.**

Eating: I WAS eating a cookie…

Drinking: water.

Doing: Nothing

Watching: nothing

Current mood: DX

~ Never…EVER…steal Matoro's big cookie….and also…LEWA THERE IS THIS GREAT INVENTION CALLED MOUTH WASH, YOU REALLY SHOULD TRY IT. DDX

**523 people Like This.**

**1 person is Smug about This.**

**1 person has purchased mouth wash."**

To be continued…

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

_Wow…three chapters pumped out. And it only took me *checks calendar*…over five months…oh the SHAME *in emo corner*_

_Oh well, it's updated now peeps! Enjoy!_

_1-) Never…let Lewa drive a lawn mower. EVER…_

_2-) Matoro shall be scarred for life…_

_3-) Behind every cute, innocent face is an evil mind. Don't eat their cookies. XD_

_4-) XD_

_REVIEW PLEASE!_


	21. Piraka, and The Game

**Welcome to the Mata-chatroom.**

Ch. 19

Piraka and The Game.

_And here we have some info and a list of their pennames!_

_All of the Piraka are siblings. They are foreigners from a small island from the south called Voya-nui, but moved to Metru-nui after being kicked out of both their parents' home and every high school on their island due to them being…well…them. Natural born rebels and chaos-creators, they are considered a true bad-ass gang. All are brutish in build, but have the brains of temperamental children. Vezon and Vezok are the only two that were born at the same time, as they are identical twins. All have the last name Skakdi, but are referred to on the streets as the Piraka. They all have the same mom but various dads, as their mom has gone through numerous divorces and is quite simply, a whore._

_**RedBully18**__- Hakann~ Hot tempered, egotistic, enjoys playing the 'leader' of his siblings. Not much to say on him other than that he's your average 'I wanna be leader' type who thinks he knows everything about what is going on around him. Which he doesn't. _

_**BlueBeast18**__- Vezok~ Relatively quiet, but can snap into a tantrum if things go wrong. Is in a never-ending feud with his brother Hakann. He also hates his twin sibling Vezon. He isn't too bright, but he isn't really an idiot either. Just a bit…slow._

_**EmeraldSnake20**__- Zaktan~ Eldest of the brood, has high intelligence despite being held back in his school three times. Seems to attract bugs for no real reason, especially small ones. Is the leader of the brood._

_**BronzeTrigger17**__- Avak~ One of the youngest, but a genius in engineering. But despite this, he is a klutz. A very BAD klutz. The majority of the injuries he's sustained in his life have been accidental inflictions due to his 'dance feet'. He has braces and hates Reidak for the sole reason that the elder sibling enjoys breaking his things._

_**BlackTracer19**__- Reidak~ Has a very high IQ, but purposely prefers to act like a brutish idiot. He enjoys breaking things; big things, small things, living things, dead things, colorful things, old things, new things, the list goes on. Sad to say he's been banned from numerous stores. He enjoys breaking Avak's things._

_**WhiteDrifter17**__- Thok~ Possibly one of the more intelligent of the gang, he makes a point in being as far away from his siblings as possible. If anyone asks if he knows them, he'll say no and then break your thumbs for even asking. He is VERY manipulative and a very 'if it happens, it happens, who cares' person. He won't give a crap if one of his siblings dies or ends up in juvie. He has a strange affinity for their (his) couch he brought all the way from his home overseas in their apartment. No one touches their asses to his couch without his permission. NO ONE. It's HIS brooding spot and HIS alone. It's his couch damnit!_

_**Doppelganger18**__- Vezon~ Vezok's identical twin, and the one who was born with the brains…sort of…kind of…he's insane. And no one really knows why. The others think their mother engaged in binge drinking when she was pregnant with Vezon and Vezok, and thus resulted in one being an idiot and the other being a psychopath. No one knows. He's very random and childlike, almost never really seems mad. He has a pet tarantula named Fenrakk and enjoys wearing capes. For no real reason. Vezok hates him with a passion._

_So there you have it. In all, I have over 24 peeps invested in this fic! *smiles, eye twitches* Sh**…_

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**Mata-chat journal update.**

**By AcroJester17.**

Eating: nothing.

Drinking: Orange juice.

Doing: THINKING!

Watching: nothing.

Current mood: Very thinky.

~I am on a mission to find what rhymes with orange! I know there's a word out there, and I'm gonna FIND IT! DX

**Comments-**

FrostyBite18: Lewa, for god's sake, NOTHING rhymes with orange.

AcroJester17: BLASPHEMY!"

X~X~X~X~X~X~X

"**AirMonkey22 has logged on.**

AirMonkey22: OMFG the world is ending, we're all gonna DIE! D8

RockSmasher23: Geez Matau! What is with you? You nearly plowed me down in the cafeteria and nearly made me drop my pizza! My PIZZA man! NOT cool! DX

**GroundPounder25 has logged on.**

GroundPounder25: He's now currently cowering under my bed and screaming stuff about the world ending and how we're all gonna die and something about Nuju…please, someone help me. He's clinging to my leg…

RockSmasher23: O-kay why is he all spazzing out and humping your leg now? XD

AirMonkey22: BECAUSE WE'RE ALL GONNA **DIE!**

**FireSpitter23 has logged on.**

FireSpitter23: OMFG guys, I think the world is ending! D8

RockSmasher23: Okay, what the hell is going on!? Is Nuju smiling or something? Cause that usually calls for a bag of kitten being tossed into a river, not the apocalypse!

FireSpitter23:…

GroundPounder25:…

AirMonkey22:…that's so MEAN!

RockSmasher23: Well it's true.

AirMonkey22: Well it's WORSE!

GroundPounder25: WORSE than Nuju SMILING?

**BigBird24 has logged on.**

BigBird24: Matoro said he HATES ME! T~T

FireSpitter23: Oh gawd…

GroundPounder25: is he…?

AirMonkey22: YES! D8

RockSmasher23: Wow, we really ARE gonna die… O.o'

**AquaGal22 has logged on.**

AquaGal22: Cut it out you guys! He and Matoro just had a fight!

GroundPounder25: For real?

FireSpitter23: Well that's…rare. Those two almost never fight. What the hell happened?

BigBird24: HE HATES ME!

RockSmasher23: okay, I'm getting scared now…

AquaGal22: Will you all stop it and grow up? He is sobbing hysterically into his pillow and you're all cracking jokes?

AirMonkey22: He's crying NOW!? AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

**AirMonkey22 has logged off and fled under bed in terror."**

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**Mata-chat journal update.**

**By Doppelganger18**.

Eating: Mah pillow!

Drinking: Blood.

Doing: Yer mom. XD

Watching: One of those squiggly things in my eye. I WILL CATCH YOU ONE DAY!

Current mood: lol

~ Hehehe, hey guess what? The Game. That is all. XD

**Comments**-

RedBully18: YOU SON OF A BITCH! Ten months! I was up to TEN MONTHS DAMNIT! DDX

BlackTracer19: You guys are such idiots, it's not even a real game.

BronzeTrigger17: Oh but playing 'let's make Avak cry by breaking his things' is?

BlackTracer19: Why yes, yes it is jackass. XD"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**Mata-chat tweet update.**

**By AcroJester17.**

Mood:Happeh!

Doing: RUNNING!

Current mood: XD

~Homfg I just hit Tahu with a huge rotten salmon dad caught last week and now he's chasing me! XDD

**Comments-**

BurntToast19: YOU ASS! I'M GONNA BE SMELLING LIKE ROTTEN FISH FOR WEEKS! DDX

856 people **Like This.**

1 person **Hates This and is gonna kick your ass."**

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**WhiteDrifter17 has posted a picture.**

**WhiteDrifter17 has posted a text.**

~~~Guess whose ass this is and win a prize! XDD ~~~

RedBully19: Gee, is it yours? Its pale as death, it's gotta be yours.

BronzeTrigger17: No, it's Reidak's. It's lopsided and looks like Miley Cyrus' arm-flabs. lol

**113 people like this comment.**

BlackTracer19: Hey jerk-off, guess what? I'm gonna break your legs this afternoon. Have a nice day.

BronzeTrigger17: Can you make it this evening? I'm gonna be dumping a bucket of questionable fluids on Vezok this afternoon.

BlackTracer19: Sure. Can I help?

BronzeTrigger17: Sure.

EmeraldSnake20: Dude, no question. It's Vezon's ass.

WhiteDrifter17: How'd you guess?

EmeraldSnake20: The unicorn tattoo on the left cheek gave it away.

WhiteDrifter17: Damn, was hoping you idiots wouldn't notice.

EmeraldSnake20: Don't insult MY intelligence. Now what do I win?

WhiteDrifter17: This old taco I found, and a ten minute pass to use my couch. Congrats.

**EmeraldSnake20 has accepted his prize. **

**Doppelganger18 has reposted WhiteDrifter17's picture on his blog."**

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**Acrojester17 has logged on.**

AcroJester17: Hey guys, what do you use to get staples out of something?

FrostyBite18: A staple remover, what else?

DessertRunner18: Why? You didn't try stapling two magnets together to see if they'd stick again did you?

CaveCrawler19: Never did get that magnet out of my ceiling…

AcroJester17: Erm, no, but it's kinda like that?

FrostyBite18: How much is 'kinda'?

AcroJester17: Okay, not a lot like it but I did staple something I should not have stapled.

CaveCrawler19: What did you staple THIS time?

AcroJester17: Well you know how my fav shoes have been kinda falling apart lately?

CaveCrawler19: Yeah…?

DessertRunner18: You tried to staple them back together? O.o'

AcroJester17: Well kinda. I mean, I got this staple-gun from, hehe, Staples, and-

FrostyBite18: You got your paws on a STAPLE-GUN?

CaveCrawler19: Dear god…

DessertRunner18: You're banned from my house man…

Acrojester17: Not the point! The point is, yes, I tried to staple them back together, but, well…

FrostyBite18:…Lewa…

Acrojester17: yeah…?

FrostyBite18: You stapled your feet into your shoes didn't you?

Acrojester17:…

CaveCrawler19:…

DessertRunner18:…

FrostyBite18: You are so stupid man…

Acrojester17: I FORGOT TO TAKE MY SHOES OFF OKAY!? DDX"

To be continued…

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

_1-) YOU DON'T KNOW THAT! One day, I just know it, a word WILL one day rhyme with orange…_

_2-) We do not in fact know what they were fighting about, we only know that the end is near and that Nuju is CRYING. Engage cannibalism mode! _

_3-) The moral of this segment…IS THAT WE SHALL ONE DAY CONQUER THE SQUIGGLY LINE SWIMMING IN OUR EYES! And that as of now, all of you have just lost The Game. _

_4-) Fish-to-face bits NEVER get old. XD_

_5-) So yeah, Vezon has a unicorn tattoo on his ass. Comments? 8D_

_6-) If you plan to use a stapler to fix your shoes, remember to take them off before using a staple gun. That is all._

_REVIEW PLEASE!_

_**P.s.**_

_To those of you who do not know what The Game is, see below._

_The Game is The Game where you don't think of The Game._

_Should you think of The Game, then you lose The Game._

_If you do not think of The Game, then you win The Game._

_That is The Game._

_You all enjoy that. XD_


	22. Happy Halloween

**Welcome to the Mata-chatroom.**

Ch. 21

Happy Halloween!

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**Poll by MiniTwister15.**

~Costumes you are wearing for Halloween GO!

RainDrop15: Sailor Moon XD

RockyKick16: Indiana Jones lol

DirtDigger16: Pirate!

FireCracker16: Vampire lol

Sk8ergurl16: A witch wearing PANTS!

SilentNight16: The Scream…(not the painting)

AwesomeFrost16: MMA fighter! XD (no shirt) *winkwink*

LightGuy15: Superman!

LittleBird16: An angel. (Damnit Nuju I wanted to be a vet this year FOR ONCE…)

**563 people Like LittleBird16's comment.**

**684 people have reposted picture from BigBird24's blog.**

LittleBird16: Sh**…

BigBird24: XD more pictures coming soon.

**LittleBird16 has banned BigBird24 from his blog."**

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**FrostyBite18 has logged on.**

FrostyBite18: To all my followers, if Lewa comes to you begging to use your toilet, don't let him. This is his punishment.

DessertRunner18: Dude you are so MEAN! XDD

FrostyBite18: I'm not mean. I'm just…abrasive.

BurntToast19:…so, mean.

ForstyBite18: yeah sure, whatever.

**AcroJester17 has logged onto mobile chat.**

AcroJester17: GAAAH! KOPAKA! Please please please PLEASE take the snake out of my toilet so I can go…! T~T

FrostyBite18: Get it out yourself.

DessertRunner18: Man, what did you do this time?

BurntToast19: And why not take the snake out yourself? It's barely even a foot long!

AcroJester17: I HATE SNAKES! And I only TP'd his house! WTF? I throw toilet paper at your roof and I get a blood-thirsty monster in my toilet? NO FAIR!

BurntToast19: Man since when is Kopaka ever FAIR? XD

DessertRunner18: And dude come on, it's just a lil snake. Got a ton of them where I used to live.

AcroJester17: I HATE SNAKES! DDX

FrostyBite18: you just said that. And anyways, I'm not allowing you to pee until you get all this toilet paper off my home…and gimme your candy. I'm starved.

BurntToast19: you're ALWAYS hungry…

FrostyBite18: bite me. Now get to it mister Ophidiophobia.

AcroJester17:…TAHU! Kopaka just called me a retarded dog! D8

BurntToast19: *face palm*

DessertRunner18: LMAO

FrostyBite18: oh Lewa…

AcroJester17: Hnnnn…! I gotta GO! Get it out of my bowl damnit! DX

**LittleBird16 has logged on.**

LittleBird16: Kopaka, when I said you could borrow one of the snakes from the pet shop, I didn't say you could put it in Lewa's toilet to scare the pee out of him. WTF man? He's gonna get sick!

FrostyBite18: oh settle down, Lewa's fine. Guy's got a bronze bladder.

LittleBird16: I meant the snake…

AcroJester17: MEAN! D8

FrostyBite18: You're just gonna have to deal for now angel-boy XD

**LittleBird16 has sent FrostyBite18 a Birdie.**

**FrostyBite18 is amused.**

**AcroJester17 found a lovely bush.**

**AcroJester17 got beat up by owners of said bush."**

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**WhiteRage18 has logged onto mobile chat.**

WhiteRage18: Dudes I HEART HALLOWEEN! XDDD

CrimsonFear19: OxO holy sh** he just said he 'hearts' something.

BlackLeech19: damn, we're all gonna die today.

WhiteRage18: SHUT UP! You're spoiling the mood!

BlackLeech19: Ah there we go, much better XD

CrimsonFear19: I know I'm gonna regret this, but why exactly do you _heart _Halloween? Last I checked you didn't heart anything unless it was emo-poetry or bad rom-coms XD

WhiteRage18: STFU those movies are KICKASS!

BlackLeech19: Whatever, so what is it that made you suddenly 'heart' Halloween?

CrimsonFear19: lemme guess. You pulled some kind of obnoxious prank on some poor, unfortunate idiot?

WhiteRage18: maybe~? X3

BlackLeech19: oh, I love this part. You uh…put a cherry bomb in someone's pants?

WhiteRage18: Nah, did that last year. Try again.

CrimsonFear19: You…oh! You put road kill on someone's bed?

WhiteRage18: Pft! No!

BlackLeech19: You tipped a vending machine on someone?

WhiteRage18: No~

CrimsonFear19: put a snake in some guys toilet?

WhiteRage18: no, turns out someone called 'FrostyBite18' did that. Jerk.

BlackLeech19: okay, you set some guys pants on fire.

WhiteRage18: nope.

CrimsonFear19: you 'popcorned' someone.

WhiteRage18: Nooo~

BlackLeech19: You did a nut-shot.

WhiteRage18: XD

CrimsonFear19: you put a positive pregnancy test in a boyfriend's bathroom.

WhiteRage18: LAWL

BlackLeech19: you super-glued someone's hands to their ass/crotch.

WhiteRage18: ROFL

CrimsonFear19: you put itching powder in someone's underwear!

WhiteRage18: LULZ

BlackLeech19: you mooned an entire building via four story scissor lift!

WhiteRage18: LMAO

CrimsonFear19: you gave trick or treaters chocolate laxatives.

WhiteRage18: NARF

BlackLeech19: you set off a stink bomb in one of those 'please take only one' candy bowls.

WhiteRage18: 8D

CrimsonFear19: you took a dump in someone's Jack-O-Lantern!

WhiteRage18: ASDFGHJKL

BlackLeech19: you scared the sh** out of some kids by taking some blind guy's dog and reenacting Cujo via a can of whip cream!

WhiteRage18: O MAI GAWD~

CrimsonFear19: for god's sake! You killed a man!

WhiteRage19: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHHHHHHH! LOLAWLMAOMFGTFOBBQPLZ!

BlackLeech19: oh dear god our brother's a murderer…

CrimsonFear19: I knew it was gonna happen one day but…

WhiteRage18: No you idiots! I didn't kill anyone! Yet…

CrimsonFear19: Then what did you DO DAMNIT!?

WhiteRage18: XD my prank…was this!

BlackLeech19:…

CrimsonFear19:…

BlackLeech19:…what?

CrimsonFear19: How is making us think you pulled a bad prank a prank?

WhiteRage18: Well ya see, I've been in a kind of cruel-prank rut. All week I have had absolutely NO idea what to do this year to make your lives miserable. But then I thought, hey, maybe my idiot brothers have ideas. But like hell I was going to ASK you myself! So I devised this clever scheme to get ideas off of you idiots to later turn it around and maybe pull a few of them on you lot.

CrimsoneFear18:…wha-?

WhiteRage18: Yeah. But DAMN I never knew you guys could come up with such great ideas! This is GOLD! I might just spare you from these! (Might, no promises)

BlackLeech19: You-!?

WhiteRage18: So, seems like I'm gonna be booked tonight! So don't wait up for me, I might do that stink bomb prank at this party I heard going on at the college. *checks new list of pranks*

CrimsonFear19: but you-!?

WhiteRage18: geez, the hell am I gonna get a positive pregnancy test? Think it'll work on that preggo alley cat?

BlackLeech19:…

WhiteRage18: Well anyways, aside from a pee-stick and a scissor lift, looks like my prank-block has been lifted! Thanks for the prank-bunnies! Later losers! XDDD

**WhiteRage18 has logged off to Raise Hell.**

CrimsonFear19:…

BlackLeech19:…

CrimsonFear19: hey Vorahk…

BlackLeech19: yeah?

CrimsonFear19: I…I don't wanna die…!

BlackLeech19: I know… T-T"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**BigBird24 has logged onto mobile chat.**

BigBird24: This party is pointless…

AirMonkey22: Oh come ON! Quit being such a party-poop!

RockSmasher23: Srsly man, you're just giving bad vibes. XD

BigBird24: oh shut up, you didn't want to come to this party either.

RockSmasher23: Yeah but that was BEFORE I heard they were serving pizza. XDD

BigBird24: Ugh…

AquaGal22: oh come on Nuju, lighten up! It's a party. 83

FireSpitter23: Yeah, and you gotta admit, there's some srsly interesting costumes people are wearing here.

AirMonkey22: LOL Sailor moon-man. XDD

AquaGal22: has anyone seen Whenua yet?

BigBird24: Isn't that guy in the gorilla suit by the punch bowl him?

RockSmasher23: PFT! XD

FireSpitter23: Erm, no. I heard he was gonna be Chubaka this year.

BigBird24:…so, a space gorilla. Even better! Lol

AirMonkey22: And who says wallflowers aren't funny?

AquaGal22: Oh you guys…

RockSmasher23: So where is our favorite 'gorilla'?

FireSpitter23: No idea. He might just be late.

BigBird24: speaking of hairy beasts, Matau, what the hell are you even supposed to be?

RockSmasher23: yeah, you look like the lovechild between a bull and the green goblin. XD

AirMonkey22: I'm Loki you jerks! DX just what are you two supposed to be? A killer hockey player and Einstein?

RockSmasher23: idiot, I'm the guy from Texas Chainsaw Massacre!

BigBird24: And since I made Matoro dress up as an angel this year, he said I had to be a mad scientist this year.

AirMonkey22: Pft, you can't be a mad scientist without messing your hair up a bit! I mean, come on, what is this? Parted down the middle and combed? YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO MADNESS EVERYWHERE!

BigBird24: I'm not doing anything to my hair, idiot…what about you lot?

AquaGal22: lol I just went for a plain witch.

FireSpitter23: Spiderman lol

AirMonkey22: lol nice. Hey, I think I see Whenua finally.

**GroundPounder25 has logged onto mobile chat.**

GroundPounder25: hey guys!

RockSmasher23: Man where have you been? You missed Matau bobbing for apples and falling in XD

AirMonkey22: HEY! Someone pushed me! I KNOW IT! I felt their hands on my ass as I was halfway in!

AquaGal22: *face palm*

BigBird24: wtf? XD

FireSpitter23: Matau, for the last TIME, no one was anywhere near your ass!

AirMonkey22: It was a GHOST! D8

BigBird24: ANYWAYS. What kept you? I was subjected to idiotic criticism by these idiots.

GroundPounder25: And you deserve it. But anyways, I was held up by some kid.

RockSmasher23: Kid?

GroundPounder25: yeah. Creepy kid man, maybe around our sibling's age. Looked like he had some kind of eating disorder, I dunno. Anyways, he just asks me to take this jack-o-lantern inside then ran off with this weird grin. Kid scared me man…

FireSpitter23: He sounds creepy by the way you describe him…

AquaGal22: Why a jack-o-lantern?

GroundPounder25: Dunno. He said it was a surprise and to put it in the party room. Though I'm kinda scared to do so. What if it's a bomb…?

RockSmasher23: I doubt it. I think we'd be hearing from it if it was.

AirMonkey22: I say we put it in the punch bowl. XD

BigBird24: now hang on, this kid, what did he look like…?

GroundPounder25: aside from creepy and possibly anorexic? Scrawny, black clothes, kinda hunched over, pointy nose, piercings, long wild white hair, red eyes, maybe albino?

BigBird24:…did this kid by chance have a 'pissing off the planet one person at a time' hoodie on?

GroundPounder25: Yeah! Wait, how did you know?

BigBird24: SH**…

**BigBird24 has fled the building.**

RockSmasher23: What's his problem?

AirMonkey22: Maybe he got into the 'purple punch'? XD

AquaGal22: I doubt it…

FireSpitter23: Hey, is anyone hearing beeping, or is it just me?

RockSmasher23: I'd normally say 'it's just you' but yeah…

GroundPounder25: uh, guys?

Airmonkey22: yeah?

GroundPounder25: Do jack-o-lanterns usually glow red?

AquaGal23: No…

FireSpitter23: HOLY-!?

**All signals have been lost.**

**WhiteRage18 has sent a message to all present.**

WhiteRage18: Happy Halloween douchebags! Enjoy your stank bomb! XDD

**1,268 people Hate This So Hard.**

**1 Person survived."**

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**Mata-chat journal update.**

**By** **BurntToast19.**

Eating: candy

Drinking: MONSTER.

Doing: this

Watching: nothing

Current mood: DAMNIT ALL!

~ I swear to god Kopaka, if it was you who rigged this vending machine to fall on me, I mean it, I'M GONNA RIP OUT YOUR DAMN EMO HAIR AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT!

**236 people Like This.**

**1 person is Innocent.**

**1 person is Reveling in a successful prank."**

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**FireCracker16 has logged onto mobile chat.**

FireCracker16: Dude, Hewkii…come on, come out of the closet.

RockyKick16: NOOOOO!

LightGuy15: jeez Hewkii, it was JUST a movie…

RockyKick16: NOOOO!

FireCracker16: oh my god...

RockyKick16: NOOOOO! ASDFGHJKL DD8

LightGuy15: For god's sake Hewkii! There is no murdering pineapple here!

FireCracker16: Srsly! It was a damn movie dude, and the next day you're screaming at us about a pineapple in a hockey mask with a chainsaw in your house. Get over it! It was a dream!

LightGuy15: Why a pineapple?

RockyKick16: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

FireCracker16: oh for the love of…you're on your own dude!

**FireCracker16 has logged off in frustration.**

LightGuy15: Erm, Hewkii, come on, I'm sure you're fi-

RockyKick16: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKK! He's coming! HE'S COMING FOR ME!

LightGuy15:…hey Jaller wait for me!

**LightGuy15 has logged off.**

RockyKick16: hehehe, yes, I'm safe! HAH! He can't get me here! The closet is sanctuary from the Texas Chainsaw Pineapple! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH! 8DD

**FruityDeliciousMuder00 has logged on.**

RockyKick16: No…

**FruityDeliciousMuder00 has sent RockyKick16 a Buzz.**

RockyKick16: NO.

**FruityDeliciousMurder00 has dialed RockyKick16's number.**

RockyKick16: NO!

**Message to RockyKick16: The call is coming from inside the house.**

RockyKick16: **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"**

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**Mata-chat journal update.**

**By BlackLeech19.**

Eating: some kid's candy I stole lol

Drinking: nothing.

Doing: this

Watching: nothing

Current mood: *FACE PALM*

~ Kurahk has just mooned the entire Metru-nui Coliseum via scissor lift. He has now broken the record for longest butt-cheek streak in the world. Dume is not pleased by the seven-story butt-cheek streak he has left on the windows. LOL

**3,284 people Love This.**

**1 person is in Hysterics.**

**1 person is going to track down WhiteRage18 and murder him."**

To be continued…

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

_1-) lol so what are you all dressing up as for Halloween? 83_

_2-) idea inspired by Stormseeker123 (aka earthquakes123 on DA) thanks so much sweets! And here we learn that Lewa has a phobia of snakes._

_3-) Dudes. Best. Prank. EVER._

_4-) Party at Nuju's place! XDD and the reason he only knows about Kurahk is because Matoro had pre-existing interactions with him. That is, before Nuju found out and pretty much forbid Matoro from associating with the riffraff. This could possibly be what they were fighting about in chapter 19._

_5-) a vending machine fell on Tahu. Yep. Right here folks. Only on Matachatroom. XDD idea inspired by Stormseeker123 (aka earthquakes123 on DA)_

_6-) Texas chainsaw pineapple. He will find you. Lol _

_7-)...PFFFT. I am so sorry for any and all mental images you have all conceived, but you gotta admit this would be HYSTERICAL!_


	23. Yolo!

**Welcome to the Mata-chatroom.**

Ch. 23

YOLO! 8DD

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**WhiteRage18 has logged on.**

WhiteRage18: TURAHK! You mother***ing jackass! Get your ass in here and open this damn pickle jar! I'm STARVING!

CrimsonFear19:…wow, uh, okay, how to approach this…

WhiteRage18: SHUT UP. I want my damn pickle, and my hands are all clammy from dumping a bucket of lotion on Vorahk this morning!

CrimsonFear19: So THAT'S why he smelt like a girl's locker room all day. Been wondering about that…

WhiteRage18: SHUT THE F*** UP AND OPEN THIS DAMN JAR! Everyone else is at a damn bar and I need my dill!

CrimsonFear19: Dude, why a pickle? We got plenty of other crap in the fridge. You pregnant or something? XD

WhiteRage18: If I am, I'm leaving the afterbirth on your bed and making you pay child support!

CrimsonFear19: Uh, gross. Wait, they went to the bar WITHOUT me? Those jackasses!

WhiteRage18: I know! Now get your ass up and open this damn jar before I break it open against your head! DX

CrimsonFear19: calm down, don't flip your lid.

WhiteRage18: I AM calm! See? There's my lid. Just sitting there all snug on the pickle jar, all tight and un-flipped. Even though I SO desperately want a pickle, I refuse to flip it. Because I am calm! I am completely, utterly, and totally CALM...!

CrimsonFear19: more like completely, utterly, and totally cracked.

WhiteRage18: THERE IS NARY A CRACK ON MY PICKLE JAR YOU MOTHER F***ER~!

CrimsonFear19: Jesus, aren't you getting help in anger management?

WhiteRage18: YES. I AM GETTING HELP. NOW GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE, _PLEASE._

CrimsonFear19: well since you said 'please'…

WhiteRage18: I can put a smiley emoticon in here too if you're into that.

CrimsonFear19: Please don't, your pregnancy hormones are scaring me…

WhiteRage18: *flips you off* 8)"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"FireCracker16: Kongu, you're an idiot…

MiniTwister15: Pft, yeah, haven't heard that one before. You gonna get me out of here or what? This bench is COLD!

FireCracker16: maybe it's because you're NOT WEARING PANTS?

MiniTwister15: No, it's because the cops won't invest in cushions for their benches! And these cuffs are chaffing my wrists! And this blanket is itchy and smells like self-loathing and vomit!

FireCracker16: And you belong in the police station freezing you ass off…

MiniTwister15: I do not! I did nothing but abide by the place's damn name!

FireCracker16:…Kongu…

MiniTwister15: yeah?

FireCracker16: You're an _idiot…_

MiniTwister15: What!? How was I supposed to know people didn't actually do their shopping there while naked!?

FireCracker16: Kongu, for Christ's sake! I think it would be obvious that just because it's called a 'strip mall' that you don't actually shop there butt naked!

MiniTwister15: how is it obvious? Why can't they change the name?

FireCracker16: Uh, gee, I dunno. Common sense maybe? What kind of place lets you browse the model-plane section naked!?

MiniTwister15:…a store I wanna shop at! 8D"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**FrostyBite18 has logged on.**

FrostyBite18: Pohatu…

DessertRunner18: Yes~?

FrostyBite18:…why?

DessertRunner18: Why what? 83

FrostyBite18: Why am I standing here, at the zoo, holding a camera, watching you try and sneak into the ostrich pen, to try and ride it, and make a viral video?

DessertRunner18:…you pretty much just said it. To make a viral video! And come on, you jumped at this opportunity when I brought it up!

FrostyBite18: Well, yeah, but I didn't think you'd ACTUALLY do it. I didn't even think there WAS a zoo that had ostrich!

DessertRunner18: Well they do have them, and I'm gonna ride one, get a few billion views, and be famous. 8D

FrostyBite18: Those are huge-ass bird Pohatu…

DessertRunner18: Well I can't ride a chicken or a duck now can I?

FrostyBite18: they can peck your damn eye out…

DessertRunner18: Not gonna happen. But this is gonna be a TRIP! Man these things are FAST! They can run up to 43 mph! 8D

FrostyBite18: they can also kick and claw you to ribbons…

DessertRunner18: AND lay huge eggs.

FrostyBite18: Which brings me back to my question…

DessertRunner18: Which is…?

FrostyBite18: WHY?

DessertRunner18:…YOLO! 8D

FrostyBite18:…

DessertRunner18:…

FrostyBite18:…

DessertRunner18:

FrostyBite18:…okay. Rolling.

DessertRunner18: Aaaaanndd…ACTION! 8D"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**BlackLeech19 has logged on.**

BlackLeech19: Kurahk...for Christ's SAKE! Would it kill you to clean the damn drain when you finish a shower? I thought I stepped on a goddamn albino furbie in there!

WhiteRage18: oh my god, this noise again? Look before you step you dread locked ape! I can't help that I shed like a damn sheep dog! And you're one to talk! You leave matted wads just as much, AND use up all the hot water! My ass nearly froze over last time!

BlackLeech19: Then get a damn haircut you emo bastard! And clear out the damn drain when you're done!

WhiteRage18: it's HAIR! It's not gonna kill you!

BlackLeech19: If it came from your body, it can hurt someone. I am CONVINCED that one day, should you knock up some poor chick, your child would sneak into my room, and murder me in my sleep.

WhiteRage18: oh bull! And you call ME overdramatic? You're a 6 foot 6, 253 pound man! Hair should not freak you out like this!

BlackLeech19: I'm 217! And I mean it! It fricken hissed at me and reared back like a damn cobra! I thought I had to shoot it or beat it with the plunger!

WhiteRage18: Fu-Q BI"

To be continued…

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

_A/N~ Wow, I have been gone for ages and I come back with this pathetic piece of sh**? Ugh, well I hope it made some of you at least chuckle…_

_1-)...nope, I got nothing for you to put here. XD_

_2-) PEOPLE, it may be called a 'strip mall' but that does NOT mean you can shop there butt-naked! XD_

_3-)...YOLO! 8D And to those of you unfamiliar with our urban language, or are over the age of 40, 'Yolo' stands for 'you only live once'. This term is often used as an explanation/excuse to why people do stupid things._


	24. Like a Good Neighbor

**Welcome to the Mata-chatroom.**

Ch. 24

Like a Good Neighbor…

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**Mata-chat tweet update.**

**By DesserRunner18.**

Mood: ha-ha-ha…

Doing: Staring at my toilet.

~ So, today Kopaka went to the store for snacks while he was staying over at my place for a school project. He comes back, and goes into the bathroom. He comes out and tells me that my toilet has a leak. I go to check it out, cause I'm the houses' handy-man. And I find A LEEK in my can.

Well played mister Shiver, well played...

**1,256 People Like This.**

**1 Person is Smug."**

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**FrostyBite18 has logged onto mobile chat.**

FrostyBite18: Lewa you JACKASS! How could you cause so much f***ing damage to a motorcycle with a damn SEGWAY!?

BurntToast19: BWAHAHAHAHAH! OMFG LOLAWLMAOMFGTFOBBQPLZ XDDD Oh god Lewa, I love you...!

AcroJester17: I love you too sweetie! 8D And it was an accident! It's only a small dent.

FrostyBite18: You call having the engine lying ten feet away from the bike A DENT?

BurntToast19: XDD dude, where did you even GET a Segway?

FrostyBite18: He f***ing stole it from the mall cop.

AcroJester17: I did not! I just borrowed it without telling him…

BurntToast19: LAWL

FrostyBite18: Lewa…I am going to f***ing beat you with a Leek if you don't come up with some kind of way to fix this…

AcroJester17: No no wait wait wait! I got this! I KNOW how to fix this!

FrostyBite18: Oh really? Well then SPILL before I spill your guts onto the pavement!

AcroJester17:...that's gross! D8

FrostyBite18: **NOW!**

AcroJester17: OKAY! Ahem...like a good neighbor, State farm is there!

BurntToast19:...

FrostyBite18:...

AcroJester17:...where's the person!? There's supposed to be a person that pops up and says everything's all good! D8

**FrostyBite18 has logged off.**

**FrostyBite18 is now assaulting AcroJester17 with a Leek.**

**BurntToast19 is in hysterics."**

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X  
**

"**FireCracker16 has logged onto mobile chat.**

FireCracker16: Hewkii…Takua…

LightGuy15: Yeah?

RockyKick16: eee-yup?

FireCracker16: why…is Kongu running and spinning in the revolving door of the Coliseum?

RockyKick16: PFT…! XD

LightGuy15: XD because Hewkii said it was impossible to slam a revolving door.

RockyKick16: and apparently, to him, it is possible.

FireCracker16:..how would that be possible? It's a REVOLVING DOOR!

RockyKick16: Exactly! XDD

FireCracker16: Ugh…

LightGuy15: lol so, how ya doing Jaller?

FireCracker16: Eh, fine. Been bored all morning and decided to take a walk, which is why I am here, and I was…I was…ugh, I'm sorry, how long has he been doing this?

RockyKick16: Twenty minutes! LAWL

FireCracker16: SRSLY? How has he not puked? I'm getting nauseous just watching him. And no one's stopped him? WTF?

LightGuy15: Ikr? But I guess the people are just as entertained as we are. I mean, come on, it may be called the Coliseum, but nothing entertaining actually goes on in it lol

FireCracker16: that why you're recording this?

RockyKick16: yup! XD hey who knows? Maybe he can break a world record for 'idiot with the longest running spin record of the revolving door'.

LightGuy15: think he'd let us be in the photo with him?

RockyKick16: He better! I'm using up SO many GB on recording him, and my arm is tired!

FireCracker16: you all do know Dume is going to notice this and come down and deal with it himself soon right…?

RockyKick16: pft, better him than us. And hey, if we don't get a record out of it, at least we'll get a viral video! XD

LightGuy15: speaking of~

FireCracker16: aw sh**, here comes Dume…

RockyKick16: Bwahahahahah! Look at Kongu! He's so out of it! XDD

FireCracker16: At least he stopped spinning…

LightGuy15: yeah but…can't a sudden stop make people sick?

FireCracker16: god I hope not. O.o

RockyKick16: aahhh…Kongu's fav color is green right?

FireCracker16: yeah…?

RockyKick16: kay, should we be worried his face is green?

LightGuy15:…

FireCracker16: HOLY-!?

**MiniTwister15 has puked on VolcanoMaster53.**

**VolcanoMaster53 now needs a new suit.**

**RockyKick16 has posted video on MataTube.**

**RockyKick16 scored over 3,000,000 hits.**

**FireCracker16 is not amused."**

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**Mata-chat journal update.**

**By LittleBird16.**

Eating: nothing.

Drinking: 5 hour energy. (they need bigger bottles, srsly…)

Doing: trying not to slam my head into a wall.

Watching: this bird.

Current mood: Annoyed.

So…the pet shop recently got in a new shipment of birds. Was excited at first, but now I know what Kopaka feels like when he's in a room full of idiots…

Seems boss forgot to mention these birds are either from a shipyard, or have watched too much MTV. I have never heard so many F-bombs from birds…and I have never been called by SO many cat calls in my life…BY BIRDS.

No Nuju, you may not adopt that parrot that likes to scream 'F***-TARD' at Le-Matoran. So stop asking!

**3,456 people Like This.**

**156 parents are Not Happy.**

**1 person wants a Swearing Bird."**

To be continued…

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

_A/N~ lol whaaaaat? 8D_

_1-) wow Kopaka just pulled a prank…GET IN THE CAR OH GOD OH GOD!_

_2-) Lewa. No. Stop it. You're not doing it right…you're off key!_

_3-) …PFT! And yes people! Dume is VolcanoMaster53 in this! Expect to see him in future chapters!_

_4-) XDD idea inspired by earthquakes123 (aka stormseeker123) so yay! You get birds dropping F-bombs and hitting on Matty! And Nuju wants a parrot that will insult Le-Matoran. LULZ._


	25. RIP Simba and Bambii

**Welcome to the Mata-chatroom.**

Ch. 25

R.I.P Simba and Bambii.

_A/N~ Hahah, betcha didn't think I'd update so soon after reposting did you? Hehehehe WELL YOU'RE WRONG. And I bet you the title of this chapter freaked you all out XDD god I am so terrible._

_Oh and also! I big thank you to __**StormSeeker123**__ for helping me edit half of Mata-chatroom! You rock girl!_

_Enjoy!_

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**Mata-chat tweet update.**

**By WhiteRage18.**

Mood: hungry.

Doing: Sitting in a prison.

So I'm here in prison for unlawful conduct and something about inappropriate advertising. Or false advertising. Something about advertising. I forget. I don't give a sh**. Lol anyways, Dume ain't happy, parents ain't happy, pops ain't gonna be happy when Dume rips him a new one for my antics, and I'm pissed that when I asked for food, I get this weird grime sh** instead of my requested taco. They could have at least given me hot sauce! WTF!?

So the moral of this story is – apparently replacing the local highschool's front banner with a 'Dume's butt smells like an old furnace' 50x36 poster with a photo of Vezon's ass is frowned upon. Something to do with insulting our city's leader or some other sh**…

…I want my f***ing taco!

**5,486 people Like This.**

**1 person Dislikes this.**

**1 person is Insulted People Don't Like His Ass's Photo.**

**1 person is Grounding You for This."**

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"MiniTwister15: you killed Bambi...T~T

LittleBird16: ugh, Kongu, for god's sake, I didn't kill Bambi!

FireCracker16: No, but you SHOT A DEER...

RainDrop15: very accurately too...

LittleBird16: ugh...guys...come on, it was a simple hunting trip. I have standards too; I don't kill anything that's too young, female, or possibly with young.

RainDrop15: we know that Matoro, we're just...

FireCracker16: Like, REALLY shocked.

LittleBird16: Oh what, just because I love rahi and want to be a vet, I can't go on hunting trips with my uncle?

RainDrop15: well...not to stereotype...

MiniTwister15: you killed Bambi's daddy...TT~TT

LittleBird16: ugh...

FireCracker16: I'm actually more shocked Nuju let you handle a riffle.

LittleBird16: Ah, yeah, that was a fun talk...or more Kualus talked, Nuju just yelled and had me in a chokehold.

RainDrop15: lol I bet. But did Kualus HAVE to post that vid on Matatube? And narrate in such...graphic detail?

FireCracker16: I didn't think someone yelling 'headshot!' could make me feel so bad for a pheasant...

LittleBird16: yeah, I didn't exactly approve of that, but...yeah...and hey, it was better than Kopaka's voice-over one...

FireCracker16: Oh...god, that guy needs HELP.

RainDrop15: Btw, it wasn't in the vid, but I'm hearing rumors that you took out a Muaka?

FireCracker16: Srsly? Did you really?

LittleBird16: Oh, uh, kind of...?

MiniTwister15: OH GOD you killed Simba...!

LittleBird16: alright buddy, no more Disney movies for you. But yes, I did in fact take out a Muaka…with Kualus' truck.

FireCracker16:…

RainDrop15:…

MiniTwister15:…

FireCracker16:…how did you-

LittleBird16: I'm not good with a stick-shift ok!?

MiniTwister15:...you killed Bambi and Simba...!

LittleBird16: yeah, and I also killed the Seven Dwarves and stuffed them and put them on my front lawn, you wanna see?

MiniTwister15:...

RainDrop15:...

FireCracker16:...

MiniTwister15:...OH GOD, NO, DOPEY!"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**DessertRunner18 has logged onto mobile chat.**

DessertRunner18: OMFG I broke Onua! DD8

FrostyBite18: What now?

DessertRunner18: I broke him! He's lying on the floor he's bleeding he's not waking up and I BROKE HIM!

BurntToast19: Uh...how exactly do you 'break' someone like Onua? He's, what, like 200+ pounds of MMA potential.

FrostyBite18: One, he's only 192, second, what did you do?

DessertRunner18: We were just trying out Russian arm wrestling! D8

BurntToast19: Russian…WHAT?

FrostyBite18: Oh geez. It's that prank arm-wrestling where you pull and resist someone pulling your fist away from your face. If you let go in the middle, the person resisting punches himself in the face.

BurntToast19: OMG I saw that on Pranked! ROFL oh GAWD Onua knocked himself out? 8D

DessertRunner18: Yes! T~T

FrostyBite18: Gawd Pohtau, the guy helps his dad tow cars for a living, and you go and do THAT to him?

DessertRunner18: How was I supposed to know he'd KO himself?

FrostyBite18: I just explained this!

BurntToast19: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! XDD Omg, pohtau! Take a pic of him and send it to me! That's gonna be my new wallpaper! XD

FrostyBite18: Idiot. Where exactly is he bleeding? His forehead or something?

DessertRunner18: his left ear...

BurntToast19:...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

FrostyBite18: What the f*** are you doing telling us this!? Call an ambulance you dolt!"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

"**DessertRunner18 has logged onto mobile chat.**

**BurntToast19 has logged onto mobile chat.**

DessertRunner18: So...

BurntToast19: Kopaka...

FrostyBite18: So, Pohatu and Tahu?

DessertRunner18: So, saw ya rockin' that new bellyshirt when you got to school. Three periods late.

FrostyBite18: Yep. Like what you see?

BurntToast19: Gross...

DessertRunner18:...maybe. lol

FrostyBite18: So...?

DessertRunner18: So, yeah, what up dude? School rules say no middrifts or bellytops. Did you WANT to be suspended or something?

BurntToast19: srsly, did you CRAVE Nuju's wrath?

FrostyBite18: pft, man, I could lose an arm and go missing for two months, and he wouldn't bat an eyelash - unless I spontaneously shrink to 5 foot 5, dye my hair white, and have doe baby-blue eyes, I'm not the favorite sibling.

DessertRunner18:...pft, dude, WHY?

FrostyBite18: It was SWELTERING today.

DessertRunner18: Dude, it's 68 degrees out, and you showed up in a zip-up hoodie...all of which you failed to zip up.

BurntToast19: Srsly, I swear all the girls - and some guys - nearly drowned from a simultaneous nosebleed in fifth period.

FrostyBite18: I noticed.

DessertRunner18: So...why?

FrostyBite18: I was HOT.

BurntToast19: Are not.

FrostyBite18: piss off. It's a damn conspiracy guys, I just know it. They don't like my hair style-

BurntToast19: get a haircut, emo-bangs.

FrostyBite18: they don't approve of my ringtones-

DessertRunner18: Turn your ringer off in class, or pick something that isn't 'Lucky Star', 'Carameldance', or 'Triple Baka'.

FrostyBite18: They turn their noses up at my preferences in partners-

BurntToast19: QUIT getting caught making out with random boys/girls behind the school in broad daylight you man-whore!

FrostyBite18: And now they sneer at my desire to not have heatstroke on a summer day.

DessertRunner18: it's OCTOBER.

FrostyBite18:...you two are so f***ing negative. Show some support for my fragile health.

BurntToast19: Kopaka, you once broke three ribs on a ski trip, got up, attempted to go down the slope again before a paramedic took you away. And all the while you keep asking where the nearest Taco Bell is so you can get a Taco Supreme.

DessertRunner18: Then you proceeded to Tweet about how awesome the janky hospital food was, and that you were getting free drugs that made you see kittens dancing on the ceiling.

FrostyBite18:...

BurntToast19:...

DessertRunner18:...

FrostyBite18:...so I wore a bellyshirt today and got suspended for indecent stomach exposure. How was your guys' day?"

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

ShadowLord31: Alright, who did it?

CrimsonFear18: Did what pops?

ShadowLord31: left a rather lovely ass-streak over the window of my office?

CrimsonFear18:...dude, you forklift-mooned dad's office?

WhiteRage18: I forgot he was on the west side ok!?...aren't you proud of me for giving Dume an aneurism daddy~? 83

ShadowLord31:...I sometimes question what I was thinking when I took in a certain albino child ten years ago.

WhiteRage18: Rly? Where is the sh**? I'll set him straight for ya!

CrimsonFear18: I hear the zoo is looking for new chimps for their ape enclosure pops.

ShadowLord31:...

To be continued…

**X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

_A/N~ And once again, to any and all haters, hounds, trolls, flamers, and Critics United, SUCK MY LADY DICK~_

_So, enjoy this weird update. 83_

_1-) Yep, Kurahk did it. He finally posted a picture of Vezon's ass for all the world to see. Yay~_

_2-) Hey, Matoro is a hunter and tracker in canon verse, why not make him a good shot here? XD_

_3-) If you don't know what Russian arm-wrestling is, just look it up on youtube. it is HYSTERICAL._

_4-) Hehehe...uh, yeah, so Kopaka here in my fic is Bi, and I deck him in belly-shirts in my imagination and uh DON'T JUDGE ME!_

_5-) Hehehe, yep, Teridax is the Rahkshi's adoptive dad. They're all NOT related to one another, or Teridax himself._


End file.
